Thursday, 26 March 2015

The farmer is not well today.   After sitting for four days solid on the tractor doing the same thing, he has stiff shoulders and a very stiff neck.   In addition he is coming down with a cold.  So he is rather sorry for himself.

Reading Bovey Belle's post today (Codlins and Cream) about the loss of a dear friend, made me think about how we lose friends as we age.

Several people, who because I live up North I have lost touch with other than cards at Christmas and the odd letter and e mail, have stopped contacting me.   I shall never know why.   P, who lives in the Midlands and is a very old friend, always read my blog and often answered it with an e mail.   He would also send me a photograph if he had visited an interesting church.   Suddenly he stopped all communication.   I sent him e mails, I sent him a Christmas card - but nothing has been heard of him since around last Autumn.   I have no way of knowing what has happened.

Similarly, friend C, who I know has had one or two strokes and has largely lost her memory, has stopped communicating.   As I hardly know her children (she had two sets of twins in eleven months!) and have no idea where they live, again I can't contact them to see what has happened.

Both these friends are well into their eighties.

Another much younger and very dear friend suddenly stopped all communication about three years ago.  Her husband still lives at the same address but on the census she no longer lives there.   I don't suppose I shall ever know where she has gone - but as with the other two I miss them greatly.   This is one of the built in hazards to getting old I am sad to say.

18 comments:

John Gray said...

Give him my best........us sickos need to stick together

Joanne Noragon said...

Hope your farmer takes a good rest and recovers.
As for your friends, sad their children don't read and respond to the emails, probably because they don't have the pass words.

angryparsnip said...

Oh No !
Hope the Farmer feels better soon.

cheers, parsnip

jinxxxygirl said...

We have lost friends too over the years Weaver...... and we don't have many so theres not many to lose!

Next door neighbors we were friends with for years in TX. They were missionaries but hadn't done that in quite some time. We had suppers together and camping together and one day they moved to Minnesota to be near family and to help with the husbands allergies... Said a fond farewell... I wrote them several letters with no reply then that was it...... ?? We shall never know..

A couple we spent time with in Germany over three years and thought we were great friends... then my hubby got orders to go back to the state and we never heard a word from them again...

It seems so easy these days for people to walk away or not maintain friendships or maybe hubs and i don't make good enough friends for them to want to hang onto us.... Whatever.

So sorry Farmer is feeling a little low. Time and rest and spot of tea!! is what he needs! Hugs! deb

Tom Stephenson said...

Poor Farmer. Wish him well from me.

I am just about to lose an old friend through cancer, and he is in his 80s and has been warning us for a while.

My good, young German friend is due to arrive soon, and is also a good friend of the old man. I am hoping he will hang around long enough for a goodbye.

Rachel said...

He'll be better in the morning after a good night's sleep.

Frances said...

Best wishes to your husband for his feeling better, and perhaps not doing too much while you are gadding about.

I completely understand about what you write regarding losing touch as years go by. I am reminded of my late father's wisdom in always making friends with younger generational folks. One of his youngest friends was his two-year old neighbor Joseph. My dad was then in his late 80s.

As I am now on the outskirts of 70, and astonished at that nearness, I treasure friends I've known for about 60 years, yet love the opportunities given me every day to meet new folks, no matter what their birthdate.

How I do love visiting here. xo

Mary said...

It's true, having only friends of your own age can be unnerving and very sad when they start to leave us. I have some younger friends too and find they give me that extra push to keep me going even on the bad days. My granddaughters are pretty good at getting me involved in things, but my daughters run hot and cold and we have little in common it seems. My son, having been brainwashed by his sociopathic wife, is totally useless to us - and is not even allowed to have a relationship with any of the family, not just us his parents!

Meanwhile life goes on and I'm wishing your lovely farmer better days soon - pain and stiffness is so debilitating, and with a cold too I think you are going to be nursing him over the weekend Pat!

Take care of you too.
Hugs - Mary

Cro Magnon said...

It's very annoying (and worrying) when old friends disappear. I recently had an Email bounce back from a very good school friend..... I can't imagine what's happened.

John "By Stargoose And Hanglands" said...

Having spent many days myself sitting on tractors the farmer has my sympathy; I still suffer from stiff necks. I was wandering around my local churchyard recently when I suddenly became aware of one corner which is full of those I used to know.

Bovey Belle said...

I hope that a good soak in a bath of Epsom Salts help put the Farmer to rights again and that his cold doesn't turn out to be a bad one.

At least I can mourn the loss of my friend properly - as you pointed out, it's when you DON'T know what has happened to an old acquaintance and would like that closure. I have younger friends too, and it's good to see life through their younger perspective sometimes!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Good to know we are sailing in the same boat folks. Thanks for that.

Mac n' Janet said...

It's sad when this happens, you're left wondering what happened. I've lost 2 blogging friends, but they let me know what was happening.

The Broad said...

Poor dear farmer! Hope he is soon on the mend. I am sure your TLC will be the best thing in the world for him.

It is frustrating when we lose touch with old and dear friends and then too late we find we cannot reach them. This has happened recently to me with a good friend we made when living in Germany. No Christmas card and no replies to emails. And just this week I emailed one of my oldest friends only to have it bounced back. Both of these people we were hoping to see when we are in the States next month.

Heather said...

I hope the farmer will soon be feeling much better.
It is sad when communication suddenly stops. I am wondering whether to write to a friend to see if she is well as she missed my birthday this year and usually sends me a card. We were nextdoor neighbours many years ago until she moved to Scotland and I came south.

sackerson said...

I know, from recent experience, stiff muscles and a cold are a miserable combination.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks for the comments.

Terry and Linda said...

It's hard work riding a tractor...Terry understands. I hope he gets to feeling better right soon.

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
https://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/sherlock-boomer