My mother, although the family had a limited income, always dressed well. She always had an inferiority complex as my father's sisters (all four unmarried - men were in short supply after World War 1) all had good jobs - tailoresses, milliners. So I was brought up in the same vein. One of my mother's mantras was - 'it is important to make the best of yourself!' And I have always followed that route.
Is it vain? I don't know but I do know that it is probably in the same league as my tidiness - I just can't settle unless everywhere is tidy.
Yesterday D, who cleans for me once a month, didn't come because she wasn't well (she is coming next week). One of this month's jobs was to sweep out the garage. The farm books/ledgers have been stored in plastic boxes in the garage since I moved in. They had to be kept until the company was completely wound up and ceased to exist (presumably for tax purposes). At last the accountant has collected them to put through their 'industrial' shredder. Oh the joyful feeling of their departure.
But their removal revealed masses of piles of fluff, cobwebs and detritus. So yesterday muggins decided to do a bit of sweeping out of corners. Only a bit - working one-handed while holding tight to Priscilla with the brakes on is neither easy nor really safe for me! So just one dustpan full and then the pan and brush washed and put away so J my carer needn't know.
I told my son who remarked that he was certain I had the tidiest garage on the estate already!
But back to myself. Sadly as many of my readers will verify (all of you are on the downward slope even if only at the top of it) after a certain age everything moves South. I do my best to conceal such movement (hence the title today). Wired bras are out (can't fasten the hooks at the back) and stomachs suddenly learn to refuse one's efforts to hold the tummy in.
I look at some of our actresses on the cat walk - women as old as me - who are so beautifully dressed and who seem to have maintained a flat stomach. Then I take comfort from dear Judi Dench who always dresses in the most beautiful 'flowing', loose fitting clothes and always looks divine (and oozes what my Dad always called 'oomph') and make a note to wear clothes that cover a multitude of sins. What hides under the loose fitting wine jersey I am wearing today with wine trousers and black ballet pumps is a secret for my eyes only. Unfortunately chaps I am not sure how you hide your tums - but judging by the dog-walking chaps going past everyday - nobody seems to even try.
So yes - I a dmit to being vain. I can't change a lifetimes habits and start wearing 'any old thing' any more than I can start leaving yesterday's Times on the settee rather than in the recycling box.
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26 comments:
The wine coloured jersey and trousers sound lovely; too often we oldies are expected to wear pastels all the time.
I would probably team it with a burnt orange silk scarf.
I call going out and looking nice normal behaviour. Vanity is something else. I would have left the garage sweeping to the cleaner as you have one.
Worrying about looking nice when I'm out is not one of my particular fads. I might do a load of gardening and then jump in the car and go to Tescos in the scruffy gardening clothes, probably look like the local tramp, but I'm there to shop, not model clothes for the over 70's.
I don't dress up much anymore. Just casual, comfortable clothes are preferred by me.
I'm lucky to have my oldest son living with me and he does the garage sweeping and lawn mowing or snow shoveling!
I know several women who state they can't fasten their bras in the back, because of arthritis, or whatever. I have always been full busted from the time I was 12 years old. My mother worked for a company that made custom made undergarments. She taught me and all her customers to fasten the hooks in the front and then slide the fastener area around to the back where it belongs. I have been doing this for 70 years and it still works for me. I do have some pull-on bras which I wear for comfort, but a knit top which shows the "sag" still needs some support from underneath.
Your outfit today sounds lovely. I do love the color wine. I can relate to having a mother that upheld high standards for appearance and dress. That said, unlike my mother, I am in the garden planting, maintaining lawns running the John Deere and shoveling Winter snow on the pathways. I believe in dressing for the task at hand/occasion and can put together a killer outfit as needed.
I still remember wearing some beautiful hand-me-downs of my sister's, from when I was very small, but my mother died and clothes, like many other things, became functional, and I am not that interested. I do like natural textures, and usually only wear cotton, linen or wool, but whilst I can look smart if I have to, I wear my 'at home' clothes until they drop.
(You washed your dustpan and brush?????)
But Weave, there are bras that fasten in the front. I've been wearing them for years. I've always disliked the way I can feel the back closure when sitting on a hard backed chair like a dining room chair. Pat in Pennsylvania
I agree with Derek. We are action men, not models.
You can get Sloggi bras that have no fastenings at all. Very comfortable too they are.
Ana Dunk Agree about pull on bras
Ellen D Casual comfortable always - I don't ever go anywhere these days that calls for anything other than that. But I do like well cut, stylish casuals aand I love cashmere.
Veg artist - I am sure you would have washed them if you had seen the state they were in.
I have reached the stage of 'comfort comes first', but it has to look good as good as possible too. As my mobility gets even slower the struggle to keep down my weight increases, but if I can hide the lumps and bumps under tunics and trousers so much the better. I don't go out for lunches, dinners or to theatres, etc., but enjoy looking smart in a casual way.
Is it vanity, or self-respect, Pat? I think the latter. Right now I am in my work clothes--jeans, comfortable shirt, old socks and worn trainers, but o have been out to care for chickens and rabbits, in the garden, putting out the water sprinkler, and painting furniture. When I go out, I take care with my appearance because I like to look nice, and it sure is a nice change from my at-home wear.
I can dress up when the occasion is needed but clothes are not my first port of call. Neither make-up, because how do you put the stuff on with wretched vision? And as for my hair!! think I will go and shoot myself.
Brilliant to dress to suit yourself and to satisfy your own sensibilities.
Hugs!
Vanity isn't wearing the right clothes for the job.
Vanity is going over the top unnecessarily.
My grammar school motto was To Be, Not to Seem...in Latin....
I suppose that sums up how I feel about it
Thelma - Agree about make up - I haven't worn it since I retired 40 years ago - I wouldn't know where to start these days and with my shaky hands I can't imagine what I would look like.
Granny Sue - my feelings exactly.
Thanks everyone - nice to know a bit about how you dress. It all adds to the pictures I have in my head of each of you.
And just to add to previous comment I would like to make it clear that we don't wear bras.
Bahaaaaaaa! Tasker! You are a riot!
I can't say that I'm vain. I suppose I am the opposite of it, but I admit to wanting to be dressed and made up nicely when we go places. Tim doesn't understand that. He'll walk into the kitchen and said, "We're leaving in a hour. Is supper nearly ready? I'm cooking and not dressed to go somewhere and he will never quite understand why that matters to me.
I make an effort if going out but at home I love a denim shirt and jeans. My Mother loved clothes but had very little money. She created beautiful outfits by “remodeling” her clothes. I was in awe at the way she would add collars, buttons, and trim to transform an inexpensive item into something unique and beautiful. Jackie
When I was younger I remember my Mother never going "out" without wearing a suit and gloves. I must have been in high school before I saw her go out in more "casual" attire!
I hardly ever look at myself in a mirror, but recently I was told I looked like 'Granddad' in Only Fools and Horses, so my scruffy Santa beard needed to be trimmed. I'm a bit the same with clothes, I've decided what I like wearing so never bother to look. Typical old man I suppose!
In our building and in fact in our town everyone seems to dress well. I have been known to slip on a coat to cover my everyday indoor clothes when collecting our mail from the hallway in case I meet anyone. However I never go out without dressing decently, that and a clean tidy home are important showing self respect and respect to others. Think of the people who dash to the shops in their nightwear. Awful.
I just can’t look at men who wear there pants under their belly, or with beards that need a trim. I do like men who are clean and neat and smell like soap and water, not cologne. Even jeans if they are clean and well fitting is good with me. I am pretty much the same except for the beard, I pluck those old lady stray hairs.
Gigi - By the time you get to 90 those 'stray' hairs tend to multiply, Be warned.
Oh I let my standards slip this morning. Grabbing a break between showers of rain I went to the park with the dogs for a quick walk in my oldest and scruffiest 'house only' jeans. I just thought to myself if anyone sees me they will just assume I've been decorating or something. It was only when I got back that I realised I hadn't even looked in the mirror since washing my hair. I looked presentable ... if you squinted and passed me by quickly. ;-)
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