'Colour' is the topic this week. I have just walked down our lane for a couple of miles with Tess, looking at the dead and dying foliage and the beginnings of the Autumn colours - and I wrote this in my head as I walked. The trouble with doing a weekly 'poem' of course is that there is not time to hone one's words and one's skills, but it does make for spontaneity and - let's face it - we are not aiming for perfection here.
So a poem on colour. Or rather , in my case, a poem on the lack of colour:
All Colour Gone.
It was late when we came
to Ivelet,
where the white bridge shines
in the green landscape.
But the light had gone.
The trees stood
black and still
and the water
shone darkly.
Save for one place
where there were no trees.
Here the water was the hard,
cold silver of the sky.
Upstream a dark shape
slid into the liquid metal,
and ripples,
gentle and noiseless,
made their way to
where we stood.
(Ivelet bridge is the bridge on my header.)
Saturday 11 September 2010
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22 comments:
That is so evocative, Weaver. I especially liked the shape slipping into liquid metal. Beautiful.
Could be a 'Ted Hughes' that one Weaver!
Oh this dark, rich and velvet to the tongue - great stuff.
I love it! Dark and foreboding, full of possibilities.
Beautiful Pat - I felt I was beside you.
"Cold silver of the sky"
is wonderful
Warm Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
Nice reflective poem, Pat. I, too, like the line about the "cold silver of the sky."
You create a very mysterious atmosphere of a darkening night.
Thanks for your comment on 9 11. You are right we must not forget.
I love the spontaneous beauty of your poem, Pat. Some beautiful descriptive phrases and altogether a feeling of loss and consolation (I think...)
Sometimes go with the first draft, Pat. This is delightful - simple, economical and wonderfully vivid.
What beautiful pictures! I am your newest follower- please come be mine.
Weaver,
You are so precise and elegant in your words.
An odd idea about color vanishing in the autumn
maybe it is just the effects of light!
some lovely images in there. Very visual and worth reworking I think. Perfection is different every day
I'm with pattern on this.
No use fiddlin' with something this immediate.
Very beautiful, and I love the absence of colour in the colour week -
"But the light had gone."
And thanks for naming the bridge - it is stunning.
If this is what you can do with no time to hone, I think you'd be a force to reckon with if you had the time! This is very visual with the coming night and the creature that disturbs the calm.
Without light there are no colors.
Nice piece, Weaver!
If this is what you do when you're not aiming for perfection, I'd love to see something when you're really trying!!
Lovely poem, Weaver. It takes me right there in the dark, reminds me I forgot my sweater.
I really enjoyed this, Weaver. All those colours traded for something more monochrome.
Weaver, you've painted a beautiful word picture here. I love it. Thanks for riding on the Poetry Bus with me. Blessings!!
what a beautiful poem Weaver. One can't help but picture the dark water and the slipping shape.
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