Well, the great day has arrived - the day of Willow's Annual Ball. I am all ready to set off and so excited about it.
I tried on several Zandra Rhodes dresses - no, not quite right; then I tried Vivien Westwood - no, a bit too flashy. So, after much deliberation I am going as my alter ego. I shall be wearing an LBD.
Of course, my a.e. has an eighteen inch waist and is tall and slender, so the LBD sets her figure off to perfection. Hair has been carefully swept up into a French Pleat and make-up is subtle but flattering. I considered asking Liz Taylor if I could borrow her diamonds but decided that they would be so enormous that everyone would only think it was my bling, so decided in the end to wear old rose gold necklace, earrings and belt. On my feet I have gold pumps. I am all ready to trip the light fantastic.
My partner? Well - I looked around but really these days I only fancy one man - so I am bringing the farmer. He looks wonderful in his dress suit and has had a very smart haircut. He is also wearing mens' perfume (when recently a saleslady at Gatwick airport duty-free asked him what kind of perfume he usually used - I thought for a moment he was going to passout!)
I borrowed one of Zsa zsa's fur stoles (faux of course) and we shall be arriving any time soon by chauffeur-driven Rolls Royce. And Derrick - if you are there in one of your bow ties - please save me a couple of dances. The farmer and I have been practising all week and he can just about manage the waltz and the quick-step (slowly) - so hope I can tango with you! See you all there.