Monday, 5 October 2009

The Monday Poetry Corner.

On seeing a young man jumping into the sea from the rocks.

Edwin Morgan's sea is
infinitely variable.
But here,
where crystal-clear waves
lap rocks;
where crystal-clear fish
move in the shining water;
in Summer,
it is always
the same lazy-lapping,
the same
clean, salty freshness.

So jump in.
The water's warm.
Pierce the fine skin
of no resistance,
scatter the fish,
touch your toes on the
sandy bed.
Push up again for air.

You wave as you fall.
Not waving but drowning
says Stevie Smith.
Not here.
Here it is
Look at me! I can do it!
An affirmation.

Youth thinks it's immortal,
thinks that no sharp rocks
lie beneath the surface
to cut, to bruise, to alter
the years ahead.

Think on, young man!
Plunge, make a splash!
Push up and
gasp for air.
Shout - life is good!
Your time is now! PT


Rachel Fox said...

I enjoyed this jump into the what-if with you!

Titus said...

Ooh, I was dying to find someone who chose the same photo and I mangaged to on my second visit!

Love the sea description in the first stanza, especially "lazy-lapping", and then the exhortations of the last stanza. Very effective use of the exclamation mark, which can be overdone (especially in blogland!) but it really works here.

Really liked it, Weaver. I like the variety of Mondays.

Jinksy said...

Bit chilly today to contemplate jumping in the sea, but enjoyed your warmer days poem, to make up for it.

Golden West said...

Your phrase "shining water" really captures the essence of the ocean, Weaver. It shines in sun, clouds and rain. Your poem is a wonderful way to start the day!

Batteson.Ind said...

Great minds and all that! :-)
Really enjoyed this poem, it has a really nice vitality jumping through it, and you can definately hear the seagulls and taste the fishpaste sandwhiches! Wonderful!

Acornmoon said...

I think you have captured the optimism of youth perfectly in this poem. I wonder at what stage that feeling of being invincible stops? It would be nice to dip into those days of youthful innocence again.

Tess Kincaid said...

I'm over from Titus' blog and it is so fun to read the different takes on the same pic. I love "pierce the fine skin".

The poetry bus keeps forgetting to pick me up. I bought a ticket, though, so pop over and read mine, too!

Heather said...

This is so evocative of that photo Weaver.

Leenie said...

Nice visual and spare and carefully chosen words. It is good we can't sense rocks below the surface or we would never be fearless enough to jump.

Reader Wil said...

Beautiful, beautiful! But look before you leap even in shallow water! So you are developing into a true poet! Good on you!

Gigi Ann said...

What a delightful splash into the unknown.

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

Ahhh nice! Thanks for this refreshing verse, Weaver!

Gwil W said...

That's funny. We're both writing about fish. Well, I guess that's cooked for me ;<)
I had to come off TFE - I couldn't get into my e-mail box.

Unknown said...

I really liked your poem Weaver. Even without the picture I could imagine what was happening. Hopefully, the boy checked for rocks first, before he took the plunge. "Calculated risk taking" seems beyond the grasp of our youth at times. "Touching your toes on the sandy bed"..... each time i read it I can feel the squish of the sandy bottom. The blog swim was fun.

Hildred said...

Lovely description of the summer sea, Weaver, and of youth's careless abandon when it comes to pleasure (sigh)

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks everyone. I think the poem needs a bit more work doing on it. I shall try to spruce it up a bit during the week. I do hope that TFE keeps this up - it is such fun, isn't it?

Kat Mortensen said...

"Youth thinks it's immortal..." (I really liked that bit). Nice piece. It made wish I was back in my mother's homeland by the Atlantic.

Dominic Rivron said...

Good one. Some of it, really really good!

Argent said...

I don't think you need to spruce it up - it's great as it is! I too loved "lazy-lapping". Your observation about youth not knowing what's under the water gave the poem a lovely edge which kept it form being too sentimental. Loved it!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Carpe diem, Weaver.Not drowning or waving ,shouting for joy.You've captured the moment (life even) of a moment captured.That's all poetry and photography should be, captured moments.My favourite bit...
'Youth thinks it's immortal,
thinks that no sharp rocks
lie beneath the surface
to cut, to bruise, to alter
the years ahead.'

Lovely poem. THanks ye!

Anonymous said...

I really like the interpretation both you and Titus gave to this Weaver.Great imagery.TFE has come up with a great incentive to write.Enjoyed your description of "lazy-lapping" and shining water.

BT said...

What a super poem Weaver, some of the descriptions are lovely, 'lazy-lapping' and the pictures you conjure are very vivid.

Janice Thomson said...

Gosh that brought a few memories back of an 18 year old in a BC city about 15 years ago who with about 6 others jumped off a bridge (prom night I think it was), hit a rock below the surface and died. The worst part is that the kids didn't seem to learn from this and one still sees them occasionally jumping from it.

Crafty Green Poet said...

yes that's the right attitude to have...

Dave King said...

Brilliant start, brilliant middle and a brilliant finish.

Unknown said...

Hello Weaver,

I'm not sure I was ever this adventurous! I remember seeing, on TV as a child, men diving off cliffs and having to time their dive with the surge of the tide in order to have sufficient depth. My blood chills just thinking about it! Your poem captures youthful invincibility.

The Weaver of Grass said...

I think Janice's comment says it all about youth, doesn't it. I suppose we all thought we were immortal in those heady days - but like Animal Farm - some were more immortal than others - a lesson we only learn when it is too late.

CHummelKornell said...

Absolutely true. Wouldn't it be great to be young but possess the knowledge of the elders? Perhaps life would be a bit less exciting, but I think it would be so much more fulfilling.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

You are really a poet.

swiss said...

you had me from 'infinitely variable' - all the rest was gravy!

Lucky Dip Lisa said...

Lovely Poem, you have a gift. I love that passage that reads "Youth thinks it is immortal, that no sharp rocks lie beneath the surface...
Nicely written:)