It is probably four years since I stopped driving. I firmly believe that mid eighties is the time. One's reflex actions slow down, eyesight begins to be a bit shaky. Then a broken hip, followed by epilepsy made the decision for me.
This means I rarely get an opportunity to go shopping. I love clothes but it hasn't stopped me buying them - on line means no tiresome changing rooms and using the same sources - Sea Salt, The White Stuff, Hotter, David Neiper, Lakeland Leather, Florence and Fred at Tesco - means I have honed details of size down to a fine art and rarely have to return articles because they don't fit.
My main carer provides my mid-day meal to heat up in the microwave so I manage a fornightly on line Tesco delivery. I miss the local Deli but have one or two friends willing to bring pate, quiches, cold meat etc. and a friend who happily shops there for me.
Tescos sell stamps (and now I realise they put them in a brown envelope I don't accidently throw the baby out with the bathwater.)
Another friend tops up fruit at the Friday market and also collects my prescription drugs from the Pharmacy once a month.
Am I at a disadvantage? Reading the papers and listening to friends who call, I honestly don't think I am missing anything. In fact I think I score hands down. Reading today's Times just emphasises that.
Booths - the Waitrose of the North West - have just stopped having 'check yourself out' tills apparently and are going back to a nice long friendly line of 'Till Girls/Boys'. My carers go to the local Tesco to shop (we have a large Tesco as we live within three miles of the largest garrison town in Western Europe) and come back with horror stories of trying the check yourself out and then being stopped for a spot check.
Our local Post Office is located at the back of the Co-op and opens - in theory - on about three days a week but is under staffed so doesn't always open as promised.
Both HSBC and Barclays have closed our local branches (the buildings both lie closed, neglected, weeds growing out of the cracks between walls and footpaths.)
Luckily since my farmer died I have not travelled by air - and shall not do so again but our last flight together was to Amsterdam from Tees Valley - a small, friendly venue but even there going through a computerised check in defeated us and we had to call for help. Heaven help me at Gatwick these days.
Richard used to be my chosen check out till in my go to Tesco days. Sadly Richard was killed in a car accident a few years ago so I wouldn;t even have him to chat to - even if there were enough tills to allow him time for a friendly chat.
So, in answer to the question of my title - No I don't think I am missing anything at all by sitting on my bottom in my chair and looking out of the window and chatting to everyone who calls in on me - nice friendly chats too. I hesitate to ask, "What is the world coming to ?" But can anybody answer my query?
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21 comments:
You are blessed to have so many people who pop in and help and with so many empty shops etc in many towns you aren't missing much by not visiting them.
I still enjoy the outings for groceries and other occasional needed items for house and yard, but I do not like being forced into self checkouts. It is stressful and I never get through it smoothly.
I am 73 and acknowledge that having a strong husband (78) husband helps. If I was by myself I would probably resort to more online shopping and grocery delivery.
Your way of living sounds just right at this stage in your life. I am learning lots about aging gracefully by reading your blogs.
I actually think that I am more 'stay at home' than I ever have been in my life. I still have the desire to travel, but little desire to be out and about in my corner of the world. That makes no sense, does it?
You have everything set up so well with your carers, friends, family and online shops. You are lucky to have it that way. It helps to plan ahead and you are a good example of what to do.
Random checks with self-checkout in supermarkets are just that and I sometimes go for months without one and then get two in a week. Nothing to worry about.
I take each day in my stride. As long as I've got a few friends, some contact one way or another with people I'm happy. Best not to think about what might be missed or missing.
You are certainly not missing anything. I hate shopping for clothes but like buying them! I shop on-line and like you, I find that if I stick to my favourite companies I get a good fit. I do go shopping for food (avoiding the self checkouts) and medical supplies, which is not too taxing.
I love the idea of foreign travel but hate the palaver of getting there.
I lost my nerve for driving some years ago so that is no problem, and have promised myself to hire a cleaner once a week as my 90th birthday present to myself. There are corners and heights I can only reach with great difficulty!
With a few adjustments life can be quite manageable.
I love my car and still love driving, the only place I go now is to the grocery store and the bank and the gas station. I don’t have but one friend and she drops in about once a week or two. We are not telephone people, I guess because we had a party line as kids and were discouraged from using the phone. I absolutely refuse to use the self checkout and last week when I did a shop the two cashiers were so busy but no one would use the self checkout. I did cash in our stores for over 25 years and I don’t intend to do the job for nothing at the grocery store. I just may have to go online grocery shopping and let them deliver it but I enjoy going in the store and picking out whatever I feel like. You are lucky to have such good friends to help you out. I hope that I can drive for a few more years yet. My hubby stopped at about 86 or 87. At that point I don’t know what I will do but I will figure it out.
We avoid the self checkouts whenever possible. Like you, I order many things online, just because it is so convenient, and often the things I need mean an hour drive to bigger stores than we have locally. My husband and I are fortunate to still be in good health and have plenty of energy most days so have not really considered slowing down or making too many changes yet. But our rural lifestyle could become an issue in another 10byears or so.
Your kindness to others makes it natural for folks to want to help you so you needn't drive anywhere.
About self checkouts ..
It's a sad state of affairs when stores won't pay cashiers yet expect shoppers to do a cashier's
job . Remember in bygone days actually getting to know the owners and staff at local stores, or having a trusted mechanic
say "these tires will get you through the summer,but tuck away a little money because you will need new snow tires come wintertime ? Ah, well,perhaps it's up to each one of us to spread a bit of old fashioned caring and wish each other blessings
Have a good night that makes you smile about something,Pat, 🌌-Mary
You have things organized quite beautifully. Those self check outs are a nightmare I avoid; also, it means we are doing the check out work so they hire fewer people. I like local people to have jobs! You have a great team of friends and helpers surrounding you and I am sure they enjoy your company.
The ease with which one can drive--power steering, disc brakes, quick acceleration--means for me that often I am met with very reckless-seeming drivers on the road. If I weren't currently dependent on my automobile for work, then I'd probably ditch it.
I've said before, you manage extremely well and have a lovely group of friends and helpers. /I do not think you are missing much in the stores. Online shopping is quite good these days and certainly more efficient than traveling to shop in-store when much of the time they either run out of stock or no longer sell a brand.
I am so glad that you have so many people who care about you. In a way they are all CARERS! You, being as sweet as you are, deserve that care. I am a cautious driver. I avoid freeways and do my driving during less traffic times. My existence would be pretty miserable without my wheels.
My opinion of self-checkouts is very different from your other commenters. I live less than three miles from three different stores and I always use self- checkout. There are MANY more self- check- out lines than others. It makes no sense to me to stand in line behind a dozen loaded carts when I can walk up and check out. Sometimes there is a glitch. I'm 80 and look it, but have to show proof that I am old enough to buy spray paint. As for chatting with clerks--- that doesn't happen. Most of the clerks proceed from one customer to the next with barely a "hello". No meeting of eyes, maybe a thank you at the end, maybe. I live in North Texas. Most of the stores (that are still in business) have recently added many more self-check lanes. There is a building boom going on. Thousands of apartments, much congestion, and not a lot of congeniality. Too bad. I love the checkout at Sam's the best! Go in the store, scan items as I put them in the cart, pay the total bill on my phone, and out the door. There is somebody at the exit door who checks the phone, but still, very convenient.
Obviously you are in control and get nice friendly chats ,groceries, clothing...almost anything you want.
I buy mostly at the market and in our small local REWE market which doesn´t have self-checkouts.
The bigger stores, hardware stores and chemist all have self-checkouts and I try to avoid them. The problem is that there are not enough clerks. You rarely find a shop here without a sign "We are hiring . . ."
I can confirm what Hilde says about shops being short of staff and desperately seeking new employees. My local shops do not have self checkout, but I know them from IKEA where I mostly use them without a problem. At Booths in Ripon, we always find staff friendly and helpful; at Tesco‘s or Morrisson‘s, we have been using self checkout with mixed results - sometimes the codes would scan instantly, sometimes a clerk came over to help.
My Mum is like you in so many ways, Pat. She has a network of friends and family who help, and has been ordering her groceries online since my Dad became more and more dependant on her and of course with the pandemic making it advisable for her not to go to the shops.
I refuse to use self service checkouts and hope that the example set by Booths spreads throughout the country.
In case it was not clear RunNRose, I love self-checkout.
I honestly think I'm a better driver today than I've ever been. I'm never in a hurry, I'm always very aware of what's going on around me, and I really don't want to scratch or bump my lovely car. I first heard of Booths yesterday; at first I'd thought they'd said Boots.
One reason that queues at the normal tills can be long in supermarkets these days is because of their number being reduced. In the Tesco store that I use all the time, half the tills with helpful and chatty assistants were taken out and replaced with self-service ones patrolled by one assistant. One can only hope that that has not seen a reduction in staff.
Oh dear - what a gloomy picture most of us paint. How shopping has changed - no popping into the corner shop these days - I can't help thinking we just have much too wide a choice sometimes. Thanks for your contribution.
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