Prejudice

 Good morning bloggers all.

I have spent an awful lot of time lately sitting in hospital waiting rooms.   I always take either my newspaper or a book to read as sometimes the wait is quite long.   But although I always start to read my attention is drawn away from the written word and towards 'people watching.'

W, one of my carers, is just recovering from a six and a half hour operation (breast removal and at the same time 'reconstruction').   She is one of the most positive people I have ever met and now, four weeks after the operation, she walked over to call on me yesterday.   She lives lower down my road.

You can imagine, she has spent long hours in hospital waiting rooms over the last few months, so we were 'comparing notes'.

I was quite relieved to find that she was a people watcher too.   Our chat didn't make me feel any less guilty about my attitude but at least it made me feel slightly better.

So here are just a few pen portraits:

I sat next to a man maybe in his seventies.   He had on a really scruffy sweater and his trainer laces were undone.   His hair was unkempt and he hadn't had a shave that morning.  (all minuses in my book).   The receptionist called me to clear up one or two questions.   As I rose Priscilla's front wheels twisted and spun as I pressed on her handles.   The man bent down and straightened the wheels to set her on the right path. 'Be careful love - I'll steady the wheels while you get up'. (a big plus)   When I sat down again he took off his sweater (like most hospitals it was very warm) and underneath he was wearing a black shirt with thin gold stripes - absolutely pristine, beautifully ironed (a major plus).   His name was called.  He got up and went in to see the Consultant   I felt ashamed of my thoughts - yes - I had pre-judged him.

Two days later, in a different, very much larger, hospital the couple in front of me - again scruffily dressed and unkempt-  caused similar feelings.   The wife (I presume) was loudly eating a very large bag of crisps (I could still hear her and I wear hearing aids) and her husband was avidly reading The Sun newspaper.  (two very large minuses).  He was called in.   She continued with the crisps.   His Sun fell to the floor as he got up. (his trainer laces were undone too).

I have been to hospitals a lot in the last few weeks (hopefully no more now that the Palliative Care Team have taken over) but after talking to W yesterday and comparing notes about fellow patients in waiting rooms we concluded we had done an awful lot of pre-judging.   After  she had gone I thought - Perhaps the Sun reader was somebody's beloved Grandpa; or perhaps he helped his elderly neighbour by putting out her dustbin or taking her dog for a walk.

On my hospital visits I made a point of dressing smartly, having my carer give me a shower, having a few squirts of Elizabeth Arden Fifth Avenue.  I felt I owed it to the Consultant to be clean and well-dressed.  But who am I to judge others by appearance?

I felt ashamed and vowed to read my book or chat pleasantly to folk in future.   To be honest I don't think I had ever thought seriously how 'prejudice' does indeed mean pre-judging and so often with very little evidence.

I suppose we all do it but it is something worth thinking about in most of what happens in ur everyday lives.   Rather like me judging today's weather from the very dark morning and a lot of big black clouds.  Looking out of the window, suddenly the sun is shining on the hedge.

I shall in future try never to judge a book by its cover.