Wednesday, 18 July 2018

Sad News

I think we are all sharing in John (Going Gently)'s
sad news today.   What an interesting but strange place Blogland is, isn't it?   We gather together over the years a group of like-minded individuals with whom we seem to share views, we correspond almost daily, we laugh and joke on line together and we get to the stage where we feel we know one another well.   And yet, in fact, we are highly unlikely to ever meet with a few exceptions.   I expect, like me, there have been one or two fellow-bloggers who you have met - and certainly in my case, none of them have disappointed.   All have turned out just as I expected them to.

I would hazard a guess that, of all John's followers, every one would love to meet him and spend time with him, laugh with him, share dog-walking with him, meet the villagers who we also feel we know well.   Thank goodness that he is surrounded by so much good will at a time like this.   He has his loving family with whom he already spends time, he has his dear friend in Ireland, where he loves to go to that exquisite cottage, he has all the villagers who I know will look out for him now, he has many friends - and he has us.   And together we shall see him through this.

Make no mistake about it - a parting like this, where one half of the partnership wants to stay together, is not all that different from a bereavement.   I suffered the loss of my dear farmer eighteen months ago, Sue in Suffolk lost her Col only a very short while ago and I know that I can speak for us both when I say - family, friends, blogging friends - every small smile, every small kindness, every quiet word in the right place at the right time - all helps us overcome.   And I know in the long run it will be the same for John.

Today he has over three hundred comments - that is the kind of support he has.   We are all behind you John.   Stand tall, remember we are all here.
And, by the way, those animals will do their bit too. 

Three cheers for Blogland and the good it can do at times like these.

39 comments:

Jennifer said...

Thank you Weaver for putting into words what so many of us are feeling right now. John has been in my thoughts since I read his post last night. I think you're exactly right about this being a bereavement similar to losing someone who has died, and there will be a grieving process.

It hurts my heart to know how much John is hurting. As you say, though, he has so much love and friendship surrounding him! I know that better days are ahead for him and he will be okay.

Jules said...

I do hope John feels supported by the comments. I feel so sad for him and yet I can't help but feel warmed by the words and love sent to John from all around the world. X

Simon Douglas Thompson said...

A lot of sad news at the moment, alas

angryparsnip said...

As always you are able to put into words what I would like to say.
John is such a wonderful blog friend to us all.
I hope he know how much we all love him.

cheers, parsnip

Christine said...

Well said. xx

Ivy said...

You did a great job writing this post. Sometimes Blogland can be awful but in this case it is completely the opposite.
https://ruraltownliving.blogspot.com

Sue said...

I echo every word Weaver, well said ♥️

anonymous said...

You may not have seen a comment I left on John's blog. After loading all comments, it can be seen in reply to his first comment at the top of the comments section. I live the USA so cannot physically be there. If you or someone you know lives close enough to John, I hope you can open a post office box for us to mail International money orders in order to help him start over. If you are unable to do that, perhaps you could encourage him to open one for himself. I'm sure there are many of us want to help him in a tangible way. I don't know who else to ask that might be able to take care of the post office box.


Though I have not written to you before, I find you to be among the nicest, wisest women on the internet. Be well and happy, Mary

Suzie said...

You said it so well.

Sue in Suffolk said...

A really good post Pat, There is lots of love in Blogland - thank goodness.

Mary said...

John, being the amazing, lovely human being he is, will never lack for friends, and animals, to surround him and love him forever.

I'm sad at the news, but I know he is strong and will overcome the bad parts of a breakup and then have a wonderful new life.
I just wish he was my neighbor, don't you Pat?

Mary -

justjill said...

I agree with all you say Weave, and the others too. I just hope where he is going next he can find other people as he has had in the village there who love him as much as they did/do and we do. So sad he has 'lost' his partner.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Pat for your words today.
As you say our blogging friends feel as real as our
family, neighbours and other friends.
When someone hurts we all feel sad.
Sue

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

You wrote that beautifully, Pat. The Internet can be both good and bad but when it brings complete strangers from all countries and cultures together and bonds are formed, this technology is at its best. For John, and all those others who have lost a loved one, the grieving is hard Great loss is something that we never get over, but we do get through. John has a great support system and I know he will come out of this OK.

Jane said...

Beautifully put with sincerity and voicing what so many of us feel ...

wherethejourneytakesme said...

Blogland is a special place and you have captured this wonderfully in your words today.

Joanne Noragon said...

None is loved more. We will keep lifting him.

Bonnie said...

Well said Pat. Thank you for being there for John and all of us. I hope you know you are greatly appreciated. It was heartbreaking to hear John's news. I've been through a divorce and it was the most difficult thing I have done, especially with two little ones. I am glad we can all be here to support John and let him know he is cared for. Internet friends are special and mean so much.

Terra said...

I agree with everything you say Weaver. I feel a personal connection with you and with John, from reading your blog posts. Like you I lost my dear hubby recently (Nove. 2016 is recent for grief) and my friend's husband shocked her by leaving her at about that same time and yes, the grief is there for her, much like a reaction to death. John has inner strength and friends who love him and he will persevere.

lynney62 said...

I really love reading your blog everyday and really enjoy it.........I just have to say one thing.....going through a divorce is, in my thinking, completely different than losing your loved one to death. I am 74 yrs. old and have buried 2 husbands.....buried...never ever to see the sight of them on this earth again..Neither of them "wanted" to leave...life happened.I think there is a huge difference from two people deciding to end a living relationship and moving on, to have a living relationship end by death when neither person has any control over that or ever wants it to end..........Please.....there is a huge difference. So many people speak with condolences like it is the same...........It is not. Yes, I read John's blog and I feel sympathy for him for the situation he is now in, but please, do not try to tell me it is the same as losing a beloved partner by death! Until you live it...you have no idea!

coffeeontheporchwithme said...

I love reading what my fellow bloggers have to say, but I don't always comment. Today, over at John's blog, you can really tell how many people are really out there, reading, supporting. You, as others have already said, put this perfectly, Pat. I hope he finds comfort in all of the comments, as I hope you did when you lost your farmer. -Jenn

lynney62 said...

I just have one thing to add to my above comment.....When a couple who take the vow to love and honor forever decide they can't uphold that vow, it is very painful to decide to part. The difference lies in when a loved partner dies, without any chance to change that ending, even that beloved "vow" remains. For me, that is the worst pain and the huge difference between divorce separation and death separation...Because the one left behind had no "voice" or decision making in that separation. Yes....this has been a bit of a "rant"....All I can say is that many folks spoke to me after my 2nd husband died and said "I know how you feel; loss is hard"....and those folks had gone through divorce and had a choice when I had no choice at all.

Cro Magnon said...

Well said; you speak for all of us!

Janice said...

You have put it so well. I was so sad for John when I read his post. Not the retirement he had planned. I wonder if he may decide to stay where he is now or if that isn't possible?

thelma said...

As always Pat you strike out with such wisdom to offer comfort to John as he goes through this sad time. He has many friends in this land of writing, may they keep him strong.

Heather said...

Your post, once again, expresses so well what we all feel about our blogland friends and supporters. I don't know John or get to see his posts but I wish him comfort from his family and friends, and better days to come.

Frances said...

A wonderful post Pat. Perfectly said. I am sure John knows how much he is loved by his readers, and I hope that it helps ,if just a little. X

Sue said...

Thank you for writing that Pat, sums up exactly how I feel.

Derek Faulkner said...

I presume the same comments have already been made on John's blog.

The Weaver of Grass said...

I considered taking this post down after thought but John has asked that I keep it up and says he will read your comments soon, when he feels a bit stronger, so thanks for replying. I think we have provided him with a good solid wall of support both here and on his blog.

Linda Metcalf said...

My heart aches for this wonderful human being.....we will all hold him up. My husband passed just 2 months ago and I still cry every day.

Rosie said...

Well said, Pat. Thanks for putting what we all feel into such eloquent words.

liparifam said...

lynney62 - You speak of "two people deciding" to end a relationship in divorce; that is not always the case. I had no "choice", I had no "voice", it was a decision that was not mine, yet changed the rest of my life forever. I always say, I got through it, but I'll never get over it. And now I have to go through the rest of my life continuing to see my ex-husband (of 26 years) because we have a child together, and what he is is going on to do without me with his new family - until death do us part. It's like a wound that can never heal, and you can never quite move on. It is a DIFFERENT pain than losing a partner to death, of course, but It is still immense and not necessarily lesser. I grieve for and with John; I sense he is a sensitive man of great feeling, and he has a long road ahead, but I know he will make it through...

Lesley UK said...

Thank you for this post Pat. I agree with every word. I just wish there was some practical way we could help him through this, but there isn't is there? Saying that we know how he feels (as I did) means nothing really, for when you are the one going through it, you don't believe that anyone else has ever felt so devastated, empty, and worthless. At least John has all his readers, and we do love him, even though we've never met. Strange isn't it, that I am more upset about this than a recent family divorce. Blogland is wonderful and scary at the same time. Blessings

Marie said...

My husband passed away nearly 30 years ago and I totally agree that you learn to cope but you don't ever lose the loss.

Theresa Y said...

Well said Pat!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Isn't it good that we can all add our thoughts. All the good will has got to do some good.

Gabrielle Howard Gengler said...

Weave, well spoken. We share each other’s ups and downs. I truly care for you all! Gabs

Rafe's Hotel said...

Thank you for writing this. I was out of town and missed John's post until today, but like everyone else who follows Going Gently, I'd been dreading it for weeks, hoping that he would report in that everything had been settled and that all was fine. I don't know him or you, but I read you both and have felt a kinship over the years (was very sad for you when your farmer died, and have admired how you have gone on).

Sometimes, especially like now, when there is so much greed and cruelty on display daily, you two in particular have been a welcome reassurance that there still are kind, strong, well-meaning people in this world. If it were possible to erase the heartache that John is experiencing now, there would be people everywhere reaching out ...