Response to my yesterday's post about the cleaning of shoes was large and reading all your replies was fascinating and did serve to remind me how times have changed.
In the first instance prices have risen so much and the state of housing is such that really both folk in every couple have to work to keep a roof over their heads.
Folk living together can no longer be assumed to be husband and wife which means I just have to speak of 'the couple'.
But as far as yesterday's post is concerned what struck me that roles are no longer defined as they once were are they. It was clear from your replies yesterday that 'cleaning the family shoes was by and large 'the man's job' along with digging the garden, emptying the outside lavatory where needed, seeing to the dustbins. Cleaning the outside windows was not necessarily seen as woman's work if the situation involved danger(although I clearly remember seeing my mother sitting on the outside of the sash wimdow with the window pulled down to her legs to 'trap' her in.)
But now times have changed. Both work - especially once children are at school and often before. Whoever is in first puts the dinner on (and that's another change - our eating habits have changed as we eat frozen meals or quick meals because everybody is hungry and nobody has time or inclination to wait.)
It is just as likely Dad rather than Mum who sticks the washing in the washer, who collects the food from Tesco, who does the washing up. And (sadly) very few people I know own an iron, let alone use it.
Yes Bob Dylan was right and I don't think it is a change for the worse or better - it is just, as it always has been - how things are.
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34 comments:
Things have changed for women since the 1950s and 1960s and much of it is from choice; they have made a new bed in which they wish to lay.
My mother was never very keen on housework so we were brought up with a clear division of labour in our home. My sister and I did the laundry, ironing, washing up, vaccuuming etc. Dad cooked our tea when he got home from work.
The times they are certainly a-changing! Sometimes for the better and sometimes not. I suppose in a household it doesn't matter who does what, as long as everyone is happy with the situation.
My daughters think I'm mad because I iron clothes and linen. I try and explain that I do it to ensure everything is properly dry before putting away to avoid any mould or mustiness. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.
The airing cupboard is for that Sue, not ironing. No wonder they think you are mad.
If your house does not have an airing cupboard, (and many don't, these days) it strikes me as a sensible approach.
I don't think my son and his wife, now in their 30s even own an iron. I've never had a tumble dryer so I ironed to chase the damp out of the washing and of course there were the shirts to iron. 3 sons and a husband all needing a fresh shirt every day made for a lot of ironing. Now it's just the two of us but with oil central heating and no airing cupboard the sheets still need to be ironed. And aren't freshly washed and ironed sheets lovely to sleep on? If I won the lottery, which I don't even do, I'd have fresh sheets every day.
I'm happy to iron clothes, but not linens, which just get folded. I use a small standing airer next to the kitchen radiator to make sure things are totally dry before being put away. Husband does the weekly shop, but that's because I get dizzy if I turn my head too much.
Sadly they are changing. To me ironing is a case of self-pride and I always ironed with exceptions of underwear and tea towels, my husband has relucantly taken on this chore.
In the US no one irons anything because it is cheap and easy to use a clothes dryer which takes all the wrinkles out of everything if you get it out right away. In my house there was just me and hubby to start. ( we now have his son and wife and grandson on weekends and cat).A second marriage for both. He was raised by a 1950's mother who did everything. I absorbed the hippy life in the '70's where women had a voice. So I had to make some rules. I do almost everything including the garden which I enjoy. He empties the dishwasher. does his own laundry and cooks our only meal which is lunch. Altho he only cooks meat beacause we eat Keto. I make a salad for myself.He also fixes things when they go wrong. I won't get into the extra people living with us as it is temporary and an on going struggle dealing with their lack of cleaning up after them selves.
PS no one in the US has an airing cupboard it is all to do with climate and appliances.
When I first started following blogs from the UK, Ireland, Wales, etc., I had to google "airing cupboard" because I had no idea what that was. We don't have those here in the US,nor can many of us dry our laundry on lines outside, as many communities do not allow it because of association laws. I was able to dry outside when I moved where I live now, but there are mulberry trees at the back of my property which are not mine so I cannot remove them and the birds feed on them and poop purple all over my laundry. People who live in apartments have laundry equipment in the basement of the buildings, or they go to a laundramat to clean their clothes.
I’ve always had an iron as I make clothes and an iron is vital to the process of sewing a seam.
Apart from handkerchiefs I don’t iron.
I hang washing up somewhere till it’s bone dry which usually takes 48 hrs.
I am oddly compelled to chime in as to my own ironing habits. I'm sure everyone just wants to know. My mother taught me to iron early as she hated it and I enjoyed it. So from the age of about 8 I did all the household ironing. In the 60s, that involved my school dresses with full skirts, my brother's school clothes, and my father's white shirts for work. Funny, come to think of it, my mother only had the occasional Sunday dress that needed ironing. Also pillow cases and sheets of course.
I still do my cases and sheets for the pure pleasure of sleeping on ironed sheets dried on the line outside. I think few bother now. And just touch up my clothing. We don't have airing cupboards in the US, although they sound lovely. We do have driers which are handy, but I get so much enjoyment out of hanging clothes out to dry and how good they smell, that I minimize my use of the dryer.
When I was cleaning houses for a living, I ironed for some of my clients. That was less fun as they could be fussy, in the same way that someone who never cooks can be fussy and unforgiving about the food that others cook for them.
I don't iron and don't think about it. They feel fine to me when I put them on.
I find ironing pleasurable - the smell of the spray starch, the gurgle and gasp of the steam iron, and the crispness of the finished cotton or linen items. T-shirts while not necessary to iron are so non-descript and boring. Mrs. TiggyWinkle has always been my favourite Beatrix Potter character - a comforting little bustling soul in her laundry.- Pam.
I have always ironed shirts and T shirts and trousers..like bedding they feel good to put on or lie in, and take less room in the cupboard!!
We no longer have a tumble dryer, so it is the line outside, or a rack by the kitchen radiator and dehumidifier.
I had husbands who expected me to do everything..even when I was working..shall we say I wonder why the marriages lasted as long as they did!! More fool me!! This one believes in sharing the load.
My daughter has it right..her husband loves cooking, so does it. She shares gardening and housework with her son's as she has trouble walking.
Indeed, how times have changed. Re: yesterday's post - my father wore very expensive German imported shoes and changed them at lunchtime every day (putting the warm shoes into shoe trees so they looked brand new 10-15 years later) and carefully polished them regularly. Mother had a frozen shoulder and couldn't iron (or push a vacuum cleaner for the same reason) so we always had help in the house, and my father 'paid' mother to do the dental linen, all of which didn't need ironing.
The first week we were married, I ironed every single thing, down to the facecloths; the second week the facecloths got left of, and so on until only shirts and cottons got ironed! These days I have mainly natural fibres in my wardrobe, so it takes a lot of keeping up with, but I'm happy to do it as linen looks so wonderful when it's freshly ironed. DH often irons his own shirts, because he wants to, while he stands watching sport on TV!
I notice my son irons his own business shirts, and always looks smart, so there is still ironing done. Of course the children's clothing is mainly stretch and it's pretty much wash'n wear.
Thanks Pat - definitely Memories - how the world has changed!
It is interesting to me that I grew up with the idea that there was 'women's work' and men never did it. Never. Strangely thought, if there was a "man's job" that needed doing, and for whatever reason there was no man to get it done, we were expected to do it.
I grew up to be a feminist. Have been all my life.
Now I am 65, and what I've noticed is life has fallen into a predictable pattern. There is women's work. I do it by myself. If, however, Tim needs a hand, I am there too.
And for the life of me, I'm not sure how that happened! :D
I had to google what an airing cupboard is, there is no such thing here. I think it could be quite useful. I still iron my blouses and my husband´s shirts, and our T-shirts. And I love ironing the tea towels, and taking a frehs and crisp one out of the cupboard every day.
When we emptied my mother-in-law´s house after her death, we found an really cute small travel iron in a red leather case. It still worked! I didn´t have the heart to throw it away.
One funny thing: Our son moved to Prague ten years ago. He did his own laundry except for the business shirts which he took to a laundry service. On day when he got there with a load of shirts, the employee didn´t understand any English and he didn´t yet speak any Czech so he made the movement of ironing. When he came back to pick them up they were beautifully ironed - but not washed!
Hilde in Germany
That was a fair reflection of how times have changed Pat. I imagine that the majority of women in partnerships now go to work not only for financial reasons, but also because they want to have a daily life outside the house, rather than somebody who just gets left behind indoors eight hours a day.
As for ironing, in all my 75 years I've never seen the point of ironing most of the things that still get ironed these days, such as bed sheets, the time that that takes is a rare commodity in modern life.
Part of the reason for the changes must be that everything has got a lot easier; cooking with a modern cooker, using semi-prepared ingredients and being able to look up recipes on-line is a whole lot different from cooking everything from scratch on an old-fashioned kitchen range with all the recipes in your head. Many of my aunts had also worked "in service" and the standards they adhered to when ironing and cleaning would have made it unthinkable that any of my uncles should be allowed to do housework.
We have been discussing ironing often here, and I knew what Derek was going to say 😊
As you know, I like ironing because it is something my hands can do while my mind can wander, and I enjoy the satisfaction of having freshly ironed clothes and sheets. I have never owned a dryer and, as Hilde says, nobody has airing cupboards here.
But I have a large south facing window in my bedroom and put my washing on the clothes horse next to the wide open window - on a fine day, it‘s all dry in a few hours.
My parents married in 1965, and my sister and I grew up seeing both parents do their share of house work. We were also involved. I remember those Sunday afternoons in atumn and winter when my parents would spend hours together in the kitchen, preparing our Sunday evening meal which was always especially delicious.
The weekly big food shopping was done by my Dad, often accompanied by my sister or me, because my Mum did not like to drive in our busy town. For smaller items needed freshly throughout the week, Mum would send one of us to the nearby corner shop. How proud I was when I was given money and a shopping list and sent there on my own for the first time!
My parents, born during WW1, had a fairly conventional split of household tasks for their generation, although my mother suffered with a tennis elbow that frequently stopped her doing housework or cooking. When that happened then my father stepped in and took over, and as we grew up both my brother and I learned the basics of washing, ironing, cleaning and cooking. In my marriage I have always been the cook and the one doing the ironing and most of the housework and shopping (and the shoe cleaning), and thought nothing of it, it was how things panned out with a working wife. Now in retirement and not needing formal business wear for either of us, the iron has also been retired as we have switched to easy care bedding.
When I first left home aged 16, my sister cried when she saw me hand washing shirts in the home sink. She was the last of the traditional women, I think.
My Mom was always handy - she would be the one to fix things, put bikes together, shovel, mow the lawn, and do all of the housework. My Dad had a heart murmur so we were always taught that he shouldn't strain himself too much.
I'm divorced so I do what I can myself but am lucky that my oldest son will always pitch in when I need it. I don't iron as I don't wear clothes that need ironing usually - like sweatshirts and jeans!
Today, I find most couples work as a team and many tasks are interchangeable. To this day, I continue to insist on preparing fresh meals and eating together in the kitchen or dining room. Meals do not have to be complicated to bring a balanced meal to the table. I'm not a great cook but even I can put a chicken or roast in the oven and boil/bake potatoes, stir-fry steak tips or make burgers. No ironing takes place at my home. That said, everybody knows how to iron if they choose.
there's always been change . It's just that change id happening at a much faster pace.
I still use an iron often, but just to press fabric and set seams while quilt!! Never for clothes or sheets but occasionally for the cloth cotton napkins we use instead of paper napkins.
Hugs!
I don't do ironing, but my husband does while watching football, etc. on television. I have never understood the ironing of sheets and can't imagine trying to do it on a regular ironing board. Just can't see the why or how of that! I do hang out my washing on a clothes line outside and love, love, love the smell of fresh sheets------all sunshiny smelling.
Your post of yesterday (which I missed) hit me. I hope that the Kiwi folks here don't follow the lead of yours. We do wear leather shoes and keeping them polished gives them a longer life I would expect. But just recently our only shoe repair shop has gone out of business. It's hard to think that now shoes that only need resoling to go a good many miles on down the pike will just have to be tossed in the trash. I wear a really small size shoe and have a hard time finding them (none in local stores only in catalogs) so I try to get as much wear out of my shoes as possible. A sad situation to say the least.
I'm trying to inch my way back into blogland but I rarely miss reading yours and John's from Going Gently. So pleased you are doing well. 🙂
What interesting comments again - and how different we all are. if anything needs ironing (mainly linen or cotton but also the odd pure woollens ) my carer does it and then puts it in the airing cupboard where I store all my towels - my carer does not allow me in it - she keeps all my towels(which have been tumble dried) and she stores them by size and colour.on the whole I follow her instructions as she cares for me so well.When her iron broke I gave her mine as I can no longer stand to do any my self
Another one for my sitting room with a drink. Although I rather think that if Derek came it might be rather like putting the cat amongst the pigeons!
Hilde, that last made me laugh out loud!
Yes, times have changed. As a girl I ironed all my own dresses and that of my little sister Liz who was "my" child to be responsible for. Sometimes my mother took in ironing and there would be bushel baskets full, which we girls helped with. We ironed the simpler pieces like socks, hankies, towels, etc, and Mom did the dresses, shirts and pants. A whole basket earned her $2.00! But she was determined to have some money of her own as Dad controlled the finances.
I continued to iron after I married at 17, but as babies came very quickly I only ironed important things like my husband's shirts and his Air Force Reserves uniform. I always hung out laundry until I started working full time. When we first moved here, we had no electricity (until 1989) so I took laundry to town to wash in the laundromat, then carried it home to hang up and dry. With 4 boys and a hubby, and later yet another baby, there was always a LOTof laundry!
Nowadays I iron very rarely, usually only linens I am taking to my booth to sell. I honestly can't say I miss it, but I do enjoy it on those rare occasions I set up the ironing board.
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