Do you have many things in your home which belonged to previous generations of your family, or friends now gone?
James Hamilton Paterson in his introduction for September in Ronald Blythe's recent book (yes I know I am 'milking it' for posts at the moment but you have to admit that it has stirred up food for thought in many of you) touches on this where Blythe is concerned. This concerns things belonging to a previous generation.
I made a list yesterday evening of things I have - and the answer to my question is 'very few'. I have a ring which belonged to my mother - not a valuable one but a ring, which I wear occasionally- I have a silver thimble somewhere but don't ask me to find it, I have all my father's poetry books (many of which I bought him as presents) - he loved poetry and had learned many off by heart- and a collection of tiny books which had belonged to my Aunt Nell. Also I have a wooden arm chair which had belonged to my grandad - not valuable but I do love it. That is all I can think of.
James Hamilton Preston talkes of visiting Ronald Blythe frequently after he had inherited Bottengoms Farmhouse and garden from John and Christine Nash in 1977. He talks of Blythe at first treating the house as a shrine to the Nashes (who had been immensely kind to him over the years and who he loved dearly) and speaks of the house as having 'the aura of a museum of Bloomsburyana.'
He tried to persuade him to get rid of some of this old stuff and bring in his own so that the place became his rather than this museum. And finally he agreed and together they make a bonfire in the garden. One of the things they burn is a very motheaten chaise which obviously from the state of it had been in the house for a very long time.
It caught fire very easily and was soon reduced to a pile of dust. Belatedly Blythe regretted having got rid of it, listing the folk who had probably sat on it:
Dora Carrington, Virginia Woolf, Lytton Strachey, Maynard Keynes, EM Forster.- all long dead but revered both by John and Christine Nash as well as by Ronald Blythe.
I couldn't wait to read this passage to my son who is himself a writer, and who both literally and metaphorically kneels at the feet of Virginia Woolf who is his favourite writer. He was - as I expected - horrified. "I would have kept it. I would have searched for a very similar fabric and had it restored".
What would you have done?
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37 comments:
Pat...I'm a saver of family pieces...maybe a Scottish trait..from both mother and father's sides...but I also love to keep articles and drawings etc from my children and grandgirls..I realise that it will be a difficult task when it has to be sorted after I go!! xxx
Title of the book?… please…lol…I have an ornament, most have been given to my kids, that my uncle brought to my grandmother in the 1940’s…I have an old oak secretary, I use daily. My fiancé bought it for me on 1968, and it was old then. My daughter has my cedar chest, purchased for my sixteenth…she also has her tiny roll top desk, old when we got it for her. My son has the oak rocker in which I sat, rocking him and his sister. It was an antique when we purchased it in 1969…I rocked both kids and five grands…he also has the antique oak table where he and his sister sat for breakfast every morning before school. Both of my kids have china, crystal…other pieces of furniture…I sold the house in 2013, and I gave away most of what I had…son kept this secretary for me and brought it over when I moved into the condo he bought for me in 2021…Florida…just a few things. This book sounds so intriguing, and you have had the best blogs from reading it. I am interested. Keep writing…prayers
I should have kept it, but I probably would have burned it in my youth. I remember the put-down that well-off snobs would say about their newly rich friend behind his back: "You know, he had to buy his own furniture!"
I have way too much stuff, much of it china, some delicate Edwardian jewellery, some furniture, that has come down from my grandmother and my parents. I would dearly love to live without it, but cannot bring myself to get rid of it. None of my relatives want it - they are in the same position.
As far as the chaise is concerned, I would have kept it. My grandmother had a very uncomfortable but elegant one. It's all about memories, isn't it?
I like things for sentimental, rather than monetary value.
My Aunt had a china horse which I loved as a very small child, placed in her display cabinet. When she died my cousin invited me to take whatever I would like from her home. He and his wife were amazed that it was all I wanted when there was 'so much fine stuff here' he said.
I also asked for an old toy dog that was thrown on a pile in the garage. He scoffed and said it was in the throw-out pile and was given to him as a baby. In another 30 years it will be 100 years old and so will I perhaps?? My little grandaughter calls it 'old dog', and now it looks and feels loved.
I always plant sweet peas in memory of this Aunt who loved them, and I grow them seasonally after St. Patrick's Day,as she instucted. - Pam, Aust.
I suspect I would have kept it but that it would be on the scrap heap when I was dead. Doing it up of course throws away the original fabric, which has not only been blessed by famous bottoms but is a relict from the past. Old wallpapers are often stripped to just a small amount and then this original piece is framed.
Don't know on the basis of this story. It says something about Blythe and weakness and the other bloke being a bit of a tosser who should have been minding his own business.
I would have worked out how possible it was to restore it to a decent state before I got rid of it.
Some years after my mother died I rescued her old Salter kitchen scales from my dad's shed where they had been dumped in a corner. They were tatty, rusty and beyond repair. Eventually I decided to throw them out and now wish I hadn't, although in reality there was no way they could have been restored, they were too far gone.
I have a lot of old things that belonged to people before me - my Dad's fishing hat, my grandpa's chair, dishes belonging to my grandmother, a jacket of my grandpa's that I still wear, a beautiful diamond ring that belonged to my great-aunt, and many decorative pieces from my parents. All of my sentimental treasures remind me of family and bring back sweet memories for me.
Read that bit in my copy last night and thought - what a shame as it was special, but I don't expect he still regrets the burning all these years later.
The pieces in this book seem to go back a long way, before many of the other collections from his weekly Church Times writings. Good reading as always - especially as I can picture many of the places he writes about.
So many things end up in the dump... I have a love of repurposing things.. I realize that the original purpose of something may no longer be needed but i find it a particular challenge to find some use for it.. I have been married 30+ years and i have several things from the beginning of my marriage.. that i treasure.. And many i have collected along the way from thrift shops etc...that have age on them.. I have a jewelry box from my Grandmother.. that i will pass on to my daughter.. with several pieces of jewelry from my Grandmother.. nothing of real value but sentimental as i remember my Grandmother sitting me on her bed and letting me play with the jewelry.. My husband has some old pocket knives and duck calls from his Father.. I have some serving spoons from my Mother.. and photos galore.. I wish i had more things from my families past honestly.. I have found that when people pass they are not very thoughtful of what to leave to whom ... Hugs! debs
My father used to have an old cap which had become so disreputable that my mum decreed that he should never be seen in public with such a thing on his head. As a sort of compromise it lived by the back door for many years and dad used to wear it for gardening. My mother still threatened to throw it out but it was still on its hook when my father died. Then mum decided that the hat had to be saved for posterity. I finally got rid of it when mum died some years ago. Now I find myself wishing I'd kept it.
I also would have restored it. I do like the quality and craftsmanship of things made long ago. Anything with a history and/or family connection is very appealing to me. That said, I have family members that have destroyed antiques/family heirlooms because they wanted to eliminate all memories. Go figure? The result of this - I seem to inherit the antiques.
Advertised it's provenance and found it a new home.
Oh, restored it without question. My husband is sitting, at this moment, in a rocker my grandmother's grandfather gave her when she was expecting her first child 100 years ago. Its been reupholstered at least once, and had some glue shot into its joints, but otherwise its a comfortable chair with great provenance.
Ceci
Restored it.
My daughter has my grandmother's ottoman...I restored it, and she has done the same!
I have grandmothers small wardrobe. The first she had new after they returned from Adelaide in the late 20s...but she had to wait until the 30s for it!
Grandpa's 21st birthday gold signet ring and some of his work...an oil painting, an enamel landscape and some copper items made from shell cases.
I don't have much else, apart from one of the bookcases that grandma had.
Mother was a chucker-outer. Perhaps that is why I keep too much
My mother, unlike her siblings,was a chucker outer. She did a big clear out a decade before her passing. Asked me what items I wanted to inherit (Sterling flatware, a painting that had been her grandparents). We agreed that just because something had been an ancestor’s, if we didn’t like it there was no reason to keep it. When she died I kept some items that she had used, liked. It must have been part of the grieving process, because within the year I’d gotten rid of most of them. I do use the flatware daily and the painting looks lovely in the living room.
My Nan was born in 1889. I have her old Singer sewing machine, it's black with a crank handle. I very rarely use it but did last week to made four dog duvets from a single duvet and cover. I was given my late Mum's wedding ring after she passed away in a nursing home and wear it with mine. Mum's first cousin, also my godmother left me her engagement ring which I wear sometimes. She also left me the most awful charm bracelet. It is gold but amongst the charms are a Cross, Star of David and a Swastika. My favourite item was a wedding present given to my parents, a print of a Breton Harbour looking out through a window, it's hanging in my bedroom.
A sugar bowl, a cushion, a little ornament - little things my mother liked and so do I. I’m an ongoing declutterer so no big stuff came home with me that wasn’t rehoused after a fairly brief period.
I have many mementos from friends, and a few things from my parents. One I thing I learned in tbe resale business is that there is always more stuff. Things are just things in the end. It is the memory we cling to. I have come to realize that my pictures of friends and family are far more valuable to me. Although I still keep a lot of stuff!
Kept it ,
but my house is over full of things others should enjoy too
I would have kept that sofa too. I have a small wooden armchair from my father's family, which he said was probably 100 years old when he was born and that was in 1903. It is a simple country piece but I love it. I have what used to be my maternal grandmother's sewing box. It is one of those wooden boxes with mother of pearl inlay which are still fairly common but precious to me. I also have a small silver penknife of my father's which he kept in his waistcoat pocket, and a silver bangle of my mother's. Neither is of any value but I love that they came to me.
A very dear friend if mine who had been like an aunt to my daughter died last year and her daughter kindly asked myo daughter is there was anything she would like 'yes, please, her tupperware biscuit barrel. It was alwaysthe first thing she did when we visited '.
I would have kept it and had it recovered. The only piece of furniture I inherited is an old basic rocking chair which belonged to my Great Uncle and Aunt. My Mum had it first of all and her second husband (I refuse to call him step-father) painted it white which cheapened it and it looked terrible, so after he died she gave it to me. We had it professionally stripped of paint which caused a bit of damage and the back and seat panels were missing. We then sent it to someone to upcycle it and he did a good job covering a new back and seat in a type of velour. My daugher now has the rocking chair and is still in constant use. I also have lots of other things, namely jewellery, books, china, cookware etc and also lots of photographs, all from ancestors going back to my Greats. I would never get rid of the things I have, but my problem is that I don't think my daughter knows the stories behind some of these things or who they belonged to. Trying to 'pin' her down to go through it all is difficult.
It goes. However, each person has their own values and opinions that you and they have to go on. I can't think of anything from my previous generation unless you count a sweater my mother knitted for me.
We have far too many family heirlooms an attic full. After the passing of my and hubbys mothers and hubby also had a lot from his father. I have sold a lot of the smaller items on ebay. The history of some of my MIL jewelry will never be known. I just got a diamond tester to see if we really have some real ones. I have a small statue of a girl and horse made in staffordshire that my granny gave me many years ago and a silver heart given to my mum by my dad when they were courting. Both very precious to me but will mean nothing to future generations.Oh and my MIl furs !!!
I have several 'old' things, including some furniture that may go back several generations, but also my mother's wedding ring (which I wear).
Oh, I just love old pieces of furniture. The most dear piece of jewelry is a cameo that belonged to my grandmother. Also from her is a bedroom set that she bought with silver dollars saved out of "the days takings" in a small cafe that she and my grandfather ran. I do wish I knew how much it cost and how long it took to save up the money to buy it. And I can't forget the little carved box that her nephew bought for her in Italy. Another thing I love is a small cherrywood rocking chair that my mother bought at an antique store during the war when my father was working in a shipyard in Evansville, Indiana. And a rollmop desk with glassed in shelves above that my mother's second husband had kept when he sold his antique business.
Most of the furniture that we have has been bought at auctions so all of it is old. It's a great way to get good solid things for much less than buying from a furniture store. And auctions are really fun things to go to on weekends.
I hesitate to go into an antique store because I always come out with one or more things that I just can't leave behind!
I think that the value of things is best left to the owners of those things. I have, strangely enough, a rectangular cake pan that belonged to Tim's mother. I have two round cake pans that belonged to my mother. I have a cutting board that my father made when he was in high school 70 years ago. They are something that will be valued by no one after me, but I love them.
You know, I want to say also that you might feel you're scrounging for posts, but I have been loving these glimpses of your long and blessed life.
I have lots of parental stuff! I only recently got rid of a Sheraton Gentleman's Press, and a large brass-bound display case. We simply can't keep these bigger pieces any more. We also have a lot of my late Father-in-Law's collection from his work around the world (diplomat). We have various properties between my sons and myself, but it would have been better to have had just one large one, then we could have kept things.
As someone who has a great fascination for all things Bloomsbury and has read everything about those people that made up the Group, it would be easy now to jump on this "save it, restore it" band wagon. Looking back many years though, to when I was younger, there's a very good chance I'd of burnt it.
By the way, I gave my new copy of that book away to a friend and await his opinion on it. As I've said before, I found it rather boring to get into, with too much religious content.
Reading this post and comments shows just why The Repair Shop is such a popular programme. Despite massive enforced downsizing on retirement, I treasure my great grandmother's brass oil lamp, my great aunt's "perpetual" calendar from her desk (the sort with rollers where you turn it to the date) I keep it up on a shelf, set at Sunday 4th June - the day I met my beloved! And in the kitchen drawer I have my Dads ancient long-handled Horlicks teaspoon. Not valuable in monetary terms but rich in memories
If it were a piece of personal, emotional attachment for me, I would have kept it. If not, probably looked for a new home (a museum maybe, considering its history).
Much of my living room is old - I have the two cabinets (a side board and a higher one) from my grandparents, bought in the early 1930s when they got married. I also have their coffee table, a clear-lined 1960s piece a little older than myself. My plates and cutlery for daily use are from my grandparents, too, also from the 1930s, as are many of my glasses for water and other drinks.
I have things not meant for using but for keeping, such an old picture book that belonged to my Dad when he was little, and in his little boy handwriting he pencilled his name and address in. It moves me to tears every time I see it.
There is a silver bracelet that belonged to my great-grandma; I do wear it occasionally but am very careful with it.
The washing machine and microwave I have were all my grandma's; she died in 2001 which is when I took them over. They still work perfectly well and I have no reason to replace them.
Remembering how Vanessa and Virginia started with a blank canvas after their father’s death and they could not wait to move from the “mausoleum” at 22 Hyde Park Gate to Gordon Square - a large bright blank canvas - I think they would have been on the burning side. For myself I have a lot of relics: my grandma’s walnut bureau and her silver thimble, my other grandma’s 1920s Art Deco diamond engagement ring (one carat, old cut, set in platinum and valued sky high at the moment) and her carriage clock, my mother’s silver thimble, her wedding ring and the string of pearls she wore on her wedding day and her collection of writing slopes and wooden boxes which are so useful. Actually this is just the tip of the iceberg. Everything I own is old or secondhand or carefully and slowly handmade and I never buy anything new apart from underwear! Sarah in Sussex
We are a mixed bunch aren't we? Thanks for your interesting replies - I feel I know a bit more about you all now.
Good question, Weaver. I would not have kept the chaise, but I would have searched for someone who would value it and given it to them, with the instructions to do the same when they could no longer keep it or to donate it to a historical museum.
Interesting to learn in one of the comments that keeping family pieces is a Scottish trait. I have some old framed photos that belonged to my mother and perhaps her mother. They were taken in Edinburgh. They are of Cannongate Tollboth, John Knox House, and St. Giles Cathedral. I don't recall seeing them while my mother was alive. They were in a box of her belongings that I discovered after she died. I had a sampler stitched by my Scottish great great grandmother in the 1800s before her family came to live in Canada, but I passed that on to a younger 2nd cousin because I have no children. I recently gave another younger 2nd cousin my ticket to the last Beatles concert which was in 1966 in Candlestick Park, near where I grew up in California. At the same time, I gave that 2nd cousin all my Bob Dylan concert ticket stubs, from 1974 to 2014. She and her husband and three sons treasure them! I have numerous family pieces that I hope will be valued by the children of my first cousins or even the grandchildren of my first cousins.
Because my home for the past 38 years is a condominium of under 700 square feet, I don't have room for anything large. I still have numerous small family pieces and hope to find good homes for them as I get older. I am 73 now. My mother was in relatively good health when died suddenly at age 78 and so I do think about finding people, related to me or not, who would appreciate having the things that were passed down in my family. Right now, one piece I'm thinking of is a carving of a rice farmer that was given to my father by Christian missionaries who were in China when he was a small boy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBRzzDQ6SXA
I also have a few books that belonged to my grandfather on my mother's side. He was born in 1871. Thank you for bringing up this topic. I enjoyed reading the comments.
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