Thursday, 20 December 2012

Who does the work round here?

Yesterday at the hairdressers he mentioned that he intended giving a Dinner Party on Saturday night and that he had done the menu and would be doing the cooking.   He has already made the starter -
rabbit, pheasant and duck terrine - he had shot the animals/birds himself and had made up the recipe!  Yes, dear readers, I was impressed. Doesn't often happen - or does it?

Robert Crampton in the Times earlier this week, talked of visiting Africa and seeing the women working the fields, their babies strapped to their backs; going through the villages and seeing the women pounding the grain, washing the clothes, cooking the meals;
then passing the men lounging around chatting, smoking, drinking and doing little else.   Poor women he thought.

Then, on arrrival home, he suddenly had a thought.   Who was doing all the arrangements for Christmas in his household?   Who bought the presents, wrapped the presents, bought the cards, wrote the cards, posted the cards, organised the recipes, bought the food and cooked the Christmas dinner?   Maybe the man of the house would pour up the wine, fire the pudding - that kind of thing.   But, let's face it, in most households the woman does the work.   Or am I wrong? 

I chatted to the lady in the Newsagent's this afternoon about it and she remembered remarking to her father when she was a child that her mum did all the work and that her dad just expected his dinner to be on the table when he came through the door from work.  She got a clip round the ear for her remarks!

So could we have a consensus of opinion please?   If you are a man and you really contribute to Christmas preparations please say so and prove me wrong.   What does the farmer do?   Well I must say that I do most of the planning but he is on hand to help with the veggies, carve the turkey, fire the pudding etc. and he always, always stacks the dishwasher and unloads it over the whole Christmas period.   I have no complaints but I would really like to know what you think.   


John Going Gently said...

i do EVERYTHING pat....... but then it's my choice.
many people like me may complain but then if reality bites.....we wouldn't have it any other way

Joanne Noragon said...

The three old folks here used to have chores fairly well divvied up, but with the coming of two little girls we passed along a couple more onerous jobs--cleaning up after supper and vacuuming. They go at it with far more grace than I remember exhibiting in my day.

Anonymous said...

My husband cooked for 18 a few Christmases ago. Because he was the male everyone applauded him endlessly- however I did all the cleaning, food shopping, carting and carrying, decorating, gift buying, and card sending, which was definitely outshone by a man doing the cooking for the Christmas Day hot lunch.
While all fawned endlessly, it was all I could do not to mention the fact he poured copious amounts of hot fat down the kitchen sink. Yes, I was very grateful, through clenched teeth - after all I could have done it all, and it did take the edge off the exhaustion!

Heather said...

When I was young, men went to work and 'brought home the bacon' and women ran the home and reared the children. Now many women work as well and at least four men in our family cook very well and will help their wives. My husband is of the old school but does wash up.

Dominic Rivron said...

There was a good discussion about this on Woman's Hour last week (10th Dec?). It should still be on BBC iPlayer.

Eryl said...

It's pretty fifty/fifty in this house; Dave lived on his own for five years before I landed on him in February, so he's used to doing everything for himself, and quite enjoys it. He bought, wrote, and posted all the Christmas cards, and will buy the presents for his mother and daughter (yes, I did mean will!). I'll cook, but that's because I like it and am better at it, and he'll do all the dishes.

My ex did nothing, but I'm not utterly convinced that was because he didn't want to, or was lazy. It was just the way he was brought up; the kitchen was a foreign country to him.

Pondside said...

Honestly? I do just about everything that has to with the inside of the house and the shopping, preparation, cooking and cleaning up. I do all the laundry. Christmas shopping, cards, parties - yup, it's the same person. The Great Dane runs the vacuum cleaner when I ask and empties the dishwasher once in a while. On the other hand, he does my taxes, cares for the cars, the dog, the fire and any appliances that need care. When I am away for work I always come home to fresh linen on the bed. He may not cook but he's quick to order take-out or suggest a restaurant.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Crafty Green Boyfriend shares the shopping, helps with cooking the veg and does the washing up.

He also always does the vacuuming!

littlemancat said...

Isn't it remarkable that we still have this kind of work division - or not - in the twenty-first century?

Jan Blawat said...

My (now ex) husband could barely manage to make himself a sandwich. I was determined our son would be different so I showed him how to do everything around the house and expected him to do his share of the work. That was 50-50 because his father did nothing. The son is a very accomplished cook and cleans up after himself. He enjoys being sekf-sufficient. Some young lady will thank me some day.