Wednesday 14 April 2021

Where do babies come from?

 There is a lovely chapter in the book I am reading about the young boy thinking he had found out where babies come from.   He had discerned by noticing his mother's tummy grow under her apron where the baby actually was - but how did it get out.   His school friend told him that the baby came out of the mother's navel.   He didn't believe this at first but then he very carefully examined his own navel in the privacy of his room and came to the conclusion that his navel did look like something that could be unlocked so he decided mothers locked themselves in their rooms, unlocked the navel and helped the baby out.  And as to breast feeding, when his little brother first saw their mother breast feeding their little sister his little brother was terrified and screamed that the baby was eating their mother.   Goodness me how innocent we all were a century ago - and yet pre-pill many marriages took place hurriedly after the would-be bride found herself pregnant.

Today I asked my son  how he found out (his was born in the fifties) and  he related the story of how he had come into the room where his father and I were entertaining his aunt and uncle and announced to the assembled company that he had found out at school that day how babies were made - 'the man and woman sucked each other'.  I don't remember this incident at all but he tells how shortly afterwards I told him the correct version!

All this reminded me of recent lettets in The Times from women who had been to convent schools and how the Mother Superiors had given talks about meeting with boys and told the girls that if they had to sit on a boys knee they should make sure there was a telephone directory between their bottom and the boy's knees.   And if there was no access to a telephone directory then at least a newspaper - preferably The Times!

Was there ever an age of innocence - maybe not.   But pre pill and pre internet maybe things were not quite so open and talked about.   Is that a good thing or a bad thing?   Have we gone too far the other way?

28 comments:

JayCee said...

I seem to remember that my young aunt, mother's youngest sister, told me how babies were made. My mother was quite angry when she found out as she felt that I was too young to be told the truth and had been planning to tell me when I was a little older. I remember being quite fascinated by it all though!

Hard up Hester said...

I remember telling my children as they reached an appropriate age, one of my daughters was horrified and announced she was never having children if that's what it involved!

John "By Stargoose And Hanglands" said...

Growing up in a farming community I always seemed to know the answer to that particular riddle, as did, I suppose, earlier generations.

Bonnie said...

I remember when I was expecting my second child I used it as an opportunity to teach my first son about how babies grow and are born. He was four but I had a book with pictures of the growing baby in the womb which helped him to understand the process. I remember he called the baby's umbilical cord the baby's "rope" and thought it was pretty cool.

Anonymous said...

I remember vividly my grandson aged about 6 asking me where babies came from when we were having a picnic in the park. I thought I'd better tell him the basics and was preparing myself, when he said " someone at school said they were found under a gooseberry bush" but he'd said "no the hospital"! I said yes that's true. Was I relieved!!

Debby said...

I actually figured it out myself, strangely enough. It occurred to me that there was a reason why men and women were different, and I pondered this and I came to my own conclusion. I was a bit amazed to find out later that I was pretty much right about how it all worked.

I do think, at least where I live, that there is much too much sexualization of young girls. Having teeny little copies of adult clothing just seems sad to me. There are always those who want to argue it to the death, and feel that I am ridiculous, but I feel like it is important for kids to be kids. Today I was in a thrift store and much to my amazement I saw a little girl's teeshirt displayed. Because it was designer it was a higher price. It was a Victoria's Secret brandname. That shocked me. The shirt wasn't suggestive, but it was emblazoned with the logo and appeared to be something that would fit a five or six year old.

I wanted my girls to be smart, adventurous, happy, readers, confident, all sorts of things. However, I never once wished for those kids to be sexy.

Tasker Dunham said...

So, all those unmarried mothers were Guardian readers?

Anonymous said...

Love this last paragraph!

Heather said...

It is good that children are taught the facts of life but not at too early an age. I think it is a great shame that little girls especially, are allowed to grow up so fast.
When I was in my mid-teens I thought I knew where babies came from, but asked my mother to clarify things for me. She said she had told me ages ago and I had said 'that sounds revolting'!

CharlotteP said...

Did your daughter change her mind when she grew up, hard up Hester?

Rachel Phillips said...

Anything must be better than those convent days and what we were told by the nuns. I cannot even laugh about it. I think you have to have been there to realise just how bad it was in a Roman Catholic convent school and it was not funny.

Jean said...

My children's guinea pigs were mating and husband's uncle said "oh look they are playing piggy backs" Son who was 6 or 7 said "Don't be silly uncle Dennis, they are mating so they will have babies" Best way to learn.

Tom Stephenson said...

I had to find out the hard way.

Anonymous said...

My mother never told me how babies were made. I had an older cousin who filled me on all the details when I was about 12 years old. I never had children so I am left wondering all these years later how or when I would have told them.

the veg artist said...

I remember we had a quite matter-of-fact lesson in primary school which seemed to make it quite clear. My mother had died when I was very young, and there was no way I would have asked my father or siblings, or my stern grandmother, so I just accepted what I'd been told in school.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Tom Stephenson - trust you to find a pun in there somewhere!

Susan said...

My sister and I were 12 and 13 and my mother took out her textbook on female anatomy and presented all the facts in about 45 minutes. She also established her rules at the same time. All very strict.

Joanne Noragon said...

We're far better off today, with good guidance. My mother handed me a book about the birds and bees, literally.

Simon Douglas Thompson said...

I'm embarassed to even think about it!

Debby said...

I remembered the shock of finding condoms in my son's pants pocket. I was so shocked I sat down on his bed in a shock. I gave a lot of thought to what I needed to discuss with him. I was worried about the girl, and about the toll that being sexually active can take on someone in a high school setting. I wanted him to think about her, about the fact that it wasn't something to be bragged about or discussed with others, etc. I was angry that his father had left and that it was up to me to have this talk. So I resolutely picked myself up, and marched down to the garage where he was working under his truck. His legs were sticking out. I said firmly, "Dylan. We need to talk. I found your condom." I hear a cautious, "Okaaaaaaaayyyy..." and continued on. "Before you have sex you need to think long and hard..." and at that point, his legs started twitching, I realized he was laughing and I simultaneously realized why. He still refers to that as the single most embarrassing conversation he's ever had with his mother. His mother does not disagree.

Librarian said...

Like some others here have said, I found the whole process fascinating. When I was about three, I asked my Mum where babies come from. She explained it but didn't really understand and soon forgot about it. At 5, I asked again, had the same explanation from Mum and that was it.
One of my aunts had three children roughly the same age as my sister and I. She had books for them on sexual education. Those were the 1970s, and the books were with drawings as well as with photos - again, fascinating for me!
Later, at school, we had biology lessons about the subject. Boring, and I can not remember anything specific.

thelma said...

I always thought it happened by osmosis!

Derek Faulkner said...

Perhaps we haven't but children have, gone too far the other way. Children at a surprisingly young age, are viewing sex and indeed pornography, on their or a friend's laptop and imagine some of the graphic stuff that they're seeing is normal, physical sex. A lot of the things that they see, many of us wouldn't go on to try or experience until we were more adult people and could therefore handle it, so to speak.

Jean said...

When I was young there was so much silliness based on lack of information or understanding about such things. My parents didn't tell me anything at all as such subjects were taboo in our house. I had to find it all out for myself and work out what was truth from myth and fairy stories - quite a challenge in the swinging sixties!
The situation nowadays is so much better and more sensible except that too much of the wrong information is readily available to youngsters. I remember having a conversation with the mother of a fourteen year old girl who had been horrified to hear what the girl's boyfriend expected her to to in their relationship! The lad had got his sex education from the wrong kind of internet source. The girl was sufficiently upset to tell her mother about it thankfully, but was put off dating boys for a long time.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Debby you gave me my first laugh of the day!

Thanks everyone for joining in. Isn't it interesting to read all your different responses.

Jennyff said...

Growing up on a farm there was no doubt where babies came from nor how they got there. I expect these days kids can get all the information they seek from the internet, and much more than they need,

The Weaver of Grass said...

You are right about growing up on a farm - the best possible way to learn about sex. Jenny

Crafty Green Poet said...

My mother said to me "Here's a book that Jennifer's mother recommends, I'll leave it here and if you have any questions let me know'. That was it from my parents.