It is forty years this month since I retired. Forty years! The largest part of my life if we divide it up into chunks.
Birth to 19 - at home with my parents.
19 to 58 - happily married to Husband Number One. 50 to 58 adjusting to early retirement.**
58 to 60 - adjusting to widowhood.
60 to 83 - happily married to Husband Number Two.
83 to almost 91 (one month to go) alone and adjusted. **
And my Mantra Daily is - 'Don't sit about thinking what might have been - it is what it is - get on with it, fill the time, enjoy it, find ways of not being alone all the time and of enjoying being alone when the occasion arises - which it undoubtedly will.
**And of course 'chapter two' also includes the birth and the bringing up of my son -now 65 and making me feel ancient, although having seen a lot of him since he came to live up here he still looks about forty to me! Or to put it another way:
Four legs to two legs to three legs to six legs crawling to walking to needing a third leg (a walking stick) to walking around with Priscilla, four wheels plus my two legs.
Of course I am preaching to the converted aren't I - so no use getting on my soap box. But anyone newly retired and wondering what to do with themselves could do worse than run down my side bar and just look at what is on offer:
John (Stargoose) going on amazing walks around where he lives and taking photographs as he walks and making everywhere look like Nirvana; John (Going Gently) embarking at University part of each week on a new string to his bow in his early sixties; Joanne (Cup on the Bus) beavering away at her loom (I can vouch for the efficacy with which she turns out beautiful tea towels); Si (Careering Through Nature) describing in detail how"good" he is at cricket and while ostensibly fielding taking fantastic butterly shots.
I could go on. But by the sheer fact that they are all - and many more - on my side bar we know they have all found plenty to be getting on with as my mother used to say.
My tips:
Feed the mind early - straight after breakfast if you can - wordle, crossword, sudoku, doesn't matter what just give the old brain cells an airing.
Contact people - they won't come to you if you don't keep in contact - that's what phones are for. Oh and keep a supply of Kit Kats, Biscuits, Fruit cake, cheese and bix - not all I hasten to add, but just something to put on the tray as well as the coffee cups.
Don't sit watching TV all day - libraries are there for readers, paperbacks are cheap enough, nothing beats a good book. (am into Derek Jarman at the moment).
Consider blogging!! Not for everybody I know but I count my blog friends as a huge part of my life. They make me laugh (yes I mean you Tom), they make me think, they take pictures that bring me great pleasure and get me out into the countryside I can no longer visit every day (you know who you are), they let me share in their lives - their joys, their worries (a trouble shared is a trouble halved). I almost feel that I am there in the room with them.
And by golly having to think what to put on my blog each day doesn't half make me think. Heavy rain beating on the window as I type - so there's always the weather if one runs out of ideas.
Have a nice day rain or shine.
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32 comments:
I really think that your social nature and curiosity has helped you a great deal. Too many seniors slide into isolation. That isolation leads to a mistrust of people and their motives.Once that interest stops, what's left? Television? Which feeds the paranoia and the sense that the world is going to hell very quickly. You're doing it right, Weaver, and through your blog, teaching the rest of us how it is done.
I ‘ve been retired 35 years now, married at 20, that lasted until alcohol and unfaithfulness on his part left me vulnerable to the advances of a very short dark handsome man, a friend of a friend, who I married after first husband died,. First husband refused to give me a divorce so we lived together until first husband died four years later. We continued to live together four another 4 years until someone at my daughters wedding asked J when were we going to get married and he said in September. We did and that marriage very happily lasted until he passed away when he was 89, 35 years. I have been on my own now for almost 4 years and it’s OK. I am now 82 so I’m just happy to be healthy and to have my dog for company, along with blogs like yours and John’s. Sometimes I thought we retired too early but after first husband died at age 48, we sold up the business bought a sailboat and spent many years sailing around in the Caribbean, so many memories to look back on, no regrets.
Debby said it so well - what I was thinking as I read this. I am grateful for my blog friends. I tried blogging but realized I am a blog reader not a blogger. So, I would add "know thyself" as I am also an introvert and have finally decided that's okay too. Jackie
Yes, Debby said it perfectly. You have kept your brain active and therefore your love for life.
We all do what suits us the most and if that is something we love and can really enjoy and share with others even better. I'm on a great streak with Wordle and Wordly at the moment, it really is good to get the old brain cells whirring first thing in the morning before the coffee even kicks in isn't it. Blogging is a really enjoyable part of my day and has been for the past 15 years now. I really don't know how I think of what to write, but suddenly there it is on the screen, telling the world what I'm up to now.
Lots of good advice in this post, Pat. Thanks!
You have such a wonderful attitude and are brilliant for kindly showing us the way! Thank you.
Hugs!
Thank you for your always encouraging words. I'm sure you have the right attitude for staying happy and sane in this increasingly mad world.
Pat, I adore you. You are an inspiration to those of us who read your blog. You are proof that aging well CAN be done, but must be done intentionally. I read somewhere that when we lose our curiosity, it's over. Then we will sit in a chair and slowly rot, shaking a fist at fate. You simply will not allow that to happen. You never get caught up in "old talk," bemoaning your infirmities. You simply, as you said, adjust and move on. I love it that I know I will never run out of things to learn and to know, and to experience! And I thank you for confirming that yes, we all still can, no matter what age we are.
As I've mentioned before, I just love your outlook on life, Pat. And I look forward to reading your wise words every day. Xx
I am always amazed by retired people I meet who say they have nothing to do, or are bored. The world has so much to offer besides a chair and television. Those are both good, of course, in moderation. I watched a movie last night with my favorite male actor, Bill Nighy, called Living. Do you know it? Poignant, one that speaks to living to the fullest.
You could write a book on living a good life to the fullest each day. It appears your mindset is always positive and this works to your advantage. Nothing will ever be 100% perfect and taking life events in stride (as you demonstrate) is important. I find positive people (like you)attract others as shown by your excellent group of friends, carers, family and neighbors.
Granny Sue - don't know that film but do love Bill Nighy - especially his voice. He narrates travel programmes so well.
You have a wonderful outlook and it's a joy to read your blog daily. Thank you for sharing.
Well everybody I know keeps on going. I suppose there are people who just give up. But you don't find them on blogs. Some people don't have money, some don't have good lives and never did have good lives. So they have bad lives in old age too.
Not always that cut and dried Rachel.
It is thirty years since I retired. and my life has been full and busy ever since.Today was one day where I had nothing scheduled.The rest of the week is busy.Tomorrow is Art Appreciation.Someone will give an illustrated talk.Acup of tea and a good chat too.
Wise words. Retired then knocked sideways by illness I have now reclaimed my life at 70. Just started going to a poetry course. I'm the oldest in the group and I may be the only one going home for a nap. My brain gets a real work out. I intend to slowly add other things, seniors' yoga is next on the list.
You are an inspiration to us all Pat. I seem to have become addicted to online courses and am thoroughly enjoying them. My first one finished at the end of August - it was a drawing course. The latest has just started and will also go on for a year. I love crosswords and codeword puzzles - another addiction. A short walk each day, I can't manage longer ones. I also love books and listening to classical music, mainly piano or orchestral. Housework comes in there somewhere but it is not an addiction!
I am nearing retirement, but not ready to put a date to it yet. Thanks for your good ideas and attitude. I want to be sure to bring that with me into retirement.
Cheers to you!
Bonnie in Minneapolis
You have the survivor's outlook. I think I must have it too in keeping meaningfully occupied since illness curtailed my activities. I wish I could still read, though.
You've got the aging thing well thought out. there are many things that can be done to have good quality of life. Your head keeps you in the game. Keep on producing posts like this and you'll help many people.
Good advice!
Lots of good practical advice in your post right down to providing refreshments!
What I most admire about you is your tolerance and appreciation of different viewpoints which makes for varied and interesting conversations on your blog.
Debby's comments were spot on.
Certainly 'keeping busy' (if one can) is the best antidote to old age, and/or boredom. The only thing that keeps me indoors these days is rain; and luckily we haven't had much yet.
You have been with me on my blog a long time Pat and I always look forward to your comments. It is interesting the relationship between bloggers and commentators. We must all know each other pretty well, but the argument/discussion doesn't always follow on.
Always enjoyable to visit here and find out what you're thinking.- Pam.
Sue makes a very valid point with "tolerance and appreciation of different viewpoints", that for me is what makes Pat's blog stand out. Some other blogs hate their opinions being challenged and will remove comments that do so.
Tasker - sorry you can't read - is it aan eye problem? I am just about to have cataracts removed as I need a strong reading light now for small print and last night for the first time I couldn't clearly read the words on the wall in the Connect programme. Very frustrating.
Thanks for your comments everyone. I firmly believe that the way to keep going is to have a positive outlook to the end. As someone said - death and taxes are two things we can't escape so one has to make the best of it. I hope I gave you some pointers to brilliant posts on my side bar.
Such excellent advice on keeping going.
Derek here here
I have yet to see a film by him I didn't enjoy deeply. He, like Maggie Smith and Judi Dench, are true treasures.
Agree Derek. Things just aren’t so cut and dried
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