Monday, 25 January 2010

The Love of Friends.

I have been to see an old friend this afternoon. We have been through a lot together and given each other support but I don't see as much of her as I used to do. With the awful weather we have not met since a few weeks before Christmas. But, of course, we were into our full "chat" mode immediately we met today - but then we would be, because, as I said, she is an old friend.

There was a time when we were both widows and living alone. Our houses backed on to each other and were separated by one of the ubiquitous stone walls up here. In the day time we spent time chatting at the wall, we went shopping together, and in the evenings we could see each other standing at the sink doing the washing up - it was all very comforting.

Sometimes we would behave like teenagers, sitting up talking half the night, getting up in our dressing gowns and sitting chatting all the morning - those were the days, eh M?

Now we are both remarried, but it has not made any difference to our friendship. There is something about old and trusted friends that is such a comfort, isn't there? There are so many different kinds of friends - I count you all as my bloggy friends and am so grateful for your friendship - but over and above all friends are the one or two who have shared your troubles, given support, never questioned your decisions and always been there for you. I think George Washington said it better than I can:-

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them
your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."

Well, M, you "plant of slow growth" tomorrow you go into hospital for an operation on your hand.
I shall be with you in spirit,


Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Beautifully said Pat. Our literal survival depends on such connections. So important to treasure those who stand by us through thick and thin.

Poet in Residence said...

You paint a scene. I can almost see the kitchen windows...

Good luck to your friend M. She must be nice.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Tried and true friends are the greatest blessings and truest wealth of life—no gold ever had such value. I don't think anyone has more than a handful of genuine friends per life, not in the deepest sense of the word.

I've never heard that Washington quote before, but I think it's right on most occasions of deep and enduring friendships.

I hope your friend's surgery goes well.

Cloudia said...

Thou sayest it ALL on this most significant subject!

I will pray for your friend-
for you-
for us friends all.

lovely, Weaver!

Aloha, Friend!

Comfort Spiral

Heather said...

I totally agree with you, and George Washington on friendship. About 45yrs ago we lived in Cheshire and I had a very good nextdoor neighbour who, over the years, became like a sister to me. Neither of us has siblings. In the week I learned my husband's job had moved us to Devon, she learned that her husband's job had moved them to Scotland. We both had small children and never managed to meet again, but wrote regularly and still keep in touch. Hope all goes well for your friend and her operation. One special friend is worth a dozen nice acquaintances.

Titus said...

Very good post, Weaver. Truly best friends are the ones you can ring at 2am in the morning and they do not turn a hair. Mine's in Bath now, and we only manage to get together once a year at most, but we know, just know, that we are always there for each other.

And I must also say, now that my mother and I are both so much older, and I a little wiser, that she is a best friend to me.

jeannette stgermain said...

A friend can be closer than a brother or sister. Really neat you found one!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

How true what you say about dear friends. How lucky your friend is to have one. I wish her well on her hand.

steven said...

wow weaver this is such a strong and resonant post for me. i have a very small group of very close friends and then a much larger group of people with whom i can share fun and whatevers with. but it's the little group closest who know me and whom i know. in ways that cannot and should not be reduced by words! thanks for this lovely post and the george washington quote is very lovely. steven

Derrick said...

Hello Weaver,

Special friendships are something to treasure. I hope your friend's operation goes well.

lakeviewer said...

Beautiful. Stunning in its directness and simplicity. I'm glad I dropped in from Comfort Spiral.

Pondside said...

We're really blessed when we can say 'friend' aren't we? I had a chat this afternoon with my daughter - about friends. We were talking about facebook friends vs real friends, as in real-live-friends.
Best of luck to your friend M.

Elisabeth said...

'Be courteous to all, but intimate with few'. I couldn't agree more, weaver. Intimacy takes time and commitment. It needs more and therefore there's only so much that you can share at that level. but other contacts are important in different ways, too.

Thanks for reminding us of this.

Sal said...

A true friend is something to be treasured very much.
I have certainly found out who my true friends are,in my life!
I hope your friend gets on ok and that you report back to tell us that all is well ;-)

Studio Sylvia said...

Weaver, your quote rings oh so true. Wishing your friend a speedy recovery.

Rachel Fox said...

A good reminder to me, Weaver, of why I got into a tricky situation last year with someone. Friendship should be warmed slowly (not clutched at desperately!).

Dave King said...

I agree that true friendship is a plant of slow growth - and one that it is always interesting to read about.

MarmaladeRose said...

OO! I've got goose bumps reading this post.
I have a 'best friend' who I met at the age of 13, and although we live 120 miles appart and sometimes don't speak for weeks, it's as if no time at all has passed when we meet up.

The Weaver of Grass said...

You have all added to my original post - it is obvious that we all feel the same about true friends. How sad it would be to have no true friends.
We used to have a little embroidered picture on the wall when I was small - I think it was a Mabel Lucie Attwell picture (remember her?) and underneath the drawing it said !A friend in need is a friend indeed." Some truth in that I think.

After tomorrow things will have calmed down a little and I should be back to normal (whatever that is) = sorry about the hurried comments though. Thanks to everyone.

BT said...

A coincidence that I have just met up with a close friend again. I haven't seen her for years now but we were as though we had never been apart. Such friends are precious. I am glad the operation went well (I'm reading your blog backwards on a 'catch up').