Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Two 'D's

Two things beginning with D today.   The first one is the most serious and I really can't decide what to do.

I am becoming quite immobile and, because of arthritis mainly in my knees and ankles, some days I have great difficulty in walking and in keeping my balance.   It is on these days that I find it very hard to take Tess for the three walks she needs and deserves - however short.

But then in the evening when we settle down, I look at her in her basket and I know that I just could not bear to be without my little friend who I have had since she was six week's old. (she is now nine and a half).

Now it looks as though I could have a new home for her with a dog-loving couple who have just lost one of their two beloved  dogs and would dearly love another one.   And I ask myself - am I being kind to her to keep her in such a restrictive life or will her main concern be to stay with me (she has known no other life and has always been here on the farm) regardless of her shorter walks and virtually no walks in the fields - and when I move all her walks (except for those if I employ a dog-walker,or if my friend calls to take her out) will be in very different terrain.

My second D has been a Day out - or rather an afternoon out - and is in some ways connected in that my son and his wife took me on a drive out into the lovely countryside around here.   We didn't go into The Dales but rather the other way towards Ripon and then out into the rolling scenery around there.   The harvest is in and the golden stubble fields shone in the sunshine.   The views were wonderful.   We called in at Studley Royal and sat by the lake and had a pot of tea and a scone with jam and cream.   I took Tess as I didn't wish to leave her alone all afternoon.   I found managing her, her lead, my stick and my handbag very trying - there were lots of dogs around and she was no trouble but I still found it
very hard.  

What shall I do?

59 comments:

lynda said...

Keep her..you are her family. Get a dog walker if you must, but you need each other. If I was in your area, I would happily take her with my two....
.

Christine Phipps said...

Keep her you would miss her and she would you , I agree find someone to walk her if you can't do it but don't t give her away you will regret it and she will not understand .

donna baker said...

Certainly think long about it. I would in the meantime, hire a neighbor who has a responsible teenager to walk her in the morn and eve and find someone else during the day. Can you buy one of those fenced kennels to go outside the door? Here they are fairly inexpensive and already put together and Tess will probably enjoy watching nature too.

Derek Faulkner said...

Gawd, Pat, no way in this world would I give my dog away despite your increasing disabilities. As I write this I'm looking at my terrier in her basket, she is my constant companion, like all the ones before her were. Tess is your one major link with The Farmer, whatever it takes I think that you should keep her.

Jules said...

Would the Cinnamon Trust be an option in your area Pat? I'm sure you would miss each other terribly if you were to part. X

Joanne Noragon said...

There you have it, Pat. Keep Tess and find someone to walk her.She couldn't bear to leave you, nor you her.

LesDee said...

Keep her and find other solutions to the walking dilemma! It's far to soon after your recent loss of the Farmer to lose Tess too, I am certain you would regret it. You mean the world to each other, there is so much more to your relationship that paying a walker is money well spent if you stay together. Good luck xxx

Librarian said...

A very tough decision, but as others have said here, you can keep her AND make sure she gets the walks she needs by having someone else take her out regularly.

How wonderful that you had tea at the lake at Studley Royal! From my blog, you probably know that Fountains Abbey/Studley Royal is one of my favourite places on this planet. Just in case you have missed that post, here are some pictures of when my sister and I had tea there back in July; just click here.

Sue said...

Keep her. She would rather be with you and you'll find a way to manage. Dog walkers are very good.

justjill said...

Keep her. There is always a solution. Spread the word about your problem of walking Tess I am sure there will be plenty of offers of help. xxx

Wilma said...

My thoughts, which you can take or leave. You have been Tess's constant for all of her 9 years; I imagine she would be desolate without you. Since she is older now, too, she probably doesn't need to be walked as far as she did in her younger years. Try switching to an over the shoulder purse or across the body purse instead of a hand bag. That would free up one hand. And hire a dog walker for good long walks several days a week. However, if you feel too unsteady to walk her even under the best conditions, then your first priority should be yourself. After all - if you injure yourself, then you and Tess are both worse off. A tough decision for you, either way.

jinxxxygirl said...

Believe it or not I think Tess will adjust to you.... I think she would much rather be with you than without... you are her world.... Ofcourse its your decision but i don't think you are restricting Tess' happiness in any way .... I'm sure losing the Farmer was hard enough on her , much less losing you too.......Hugs! deb

Leilani Lee said...

The dog will adjust to you. Our dog got used to 1 walk a day instead of two when I had foot surgery and my husband didn't want to take her in the afternoon. She would also adjust to a new owner. My brother had to give up his beloved dog, and my our niece took her and the dog is doing just fine. Either way will be okay. Do what your heart tells you. Get a "fanny pack" or whatever they might be called in the U.K. It fastens around your waist and no hands are needed.

Sol said...

Hi Weave, I dont comment but I read every time.

I would wait till you have moved. Before the Mr worked from home, we could never of had a dog. We now have 2. A border terrier x jack russell (rescue who had a terrible life before us) and a female border who will be 1 in october. Previous to this, I used to walk 2 dogs at our old house. It worked perfectly, the lady couldnt walk very far but was home all day. I had evenings and weekends free. Kind of like a timeshare with dogs. Maybe there is someone in that situation at the new house...

Mac n' Janet said...

Keep her, she needs you, walks or no walks, and you need her. You've already lost so much, don't lose her too. Become you know it shell be too old for long walks, but she'll still have y.

Ellen D. said...

I like what Sol said - wait until you have moved. You need each other - she helps you keep moving and gives you company at home. New neighbors may have a solution for you so wait and see. My kids used to help take care of a neighbor's dog when they were young and they loved it because we didn't have a dog. I had 5 kids and each was glad as they grew old enough to take care of sweet Cheri. So we were able to help out for many years. Best of luck!

Iris said...

Definitely, definitely, definitely, keep her. YOU are 'her person'. She would never understand what has happened if you parted. She would have a broken heart. Other's above have come up with suggestions that I wanted to mention, as well. A responsible teenager would probably be very glad to go on walks with her and make a little money that way. Please don't give her away.

hart said...

I would second the 'spread the word' that you are in need of a dog walker. when I was a child I'd have dearly loved to walk someone's dog. Or maybe a neighbor would welcome Tess to walk along with their dog. Exercise isn't everything.

Jill said...

Keep her and use a dog walker. I answer that way for both of your sakes.

Cathy said...

All i can do is echo the above thoughts. Even though there are so many other things going on in your life at the moment she is the one constant to your 'previous' life. Her life changed the way yours did so she needs you as much as you need her. And taking her to the new house with you also means you'll have a familiar ear to bash when more things crop up that tax your patience 😊
And as others have suggested ask among your many friends to ask their friends and contacts about a dog helper for you.

wherethejourneytakesme said...

I think your heart is saying to keep her and if you felt you were more able to provide the exercise she needs you definitely wouldn't even be having any thoughts of letting her go - so go with your heart. Someone or something will appear in your life to solve the problem of the walks.

Beverley said...

A friend of mine does voluntary work with the Cinnamon Trust. People volunteer to walk dogs for owners that can't manage the walk anymore. This would solve the problem and you could keep your dog. Good Luck.

Penny said...

Keep her, you need her and she needs you. I couldn't bear to be without a much loved dog.

Jennifer said...

I agree with all the people saying to keep her. Dogs are amazingly adaptable; she will adjust to whatever new life you have when you move. The important thing is to be together. When we moved from a big place in the country to a neighborhood with a small fenced yard, our dog Ginger adapted beautifully. And when my husband was going through cancer treatment she went on tiny little walks with him every day and seemed to relish the chance to spend that time with him, even though she got minimal exercise in those days. I'm certain Tess will be equally flexible.

And once you move, I'm certain that if you spread the word you will have volunteers to walk her. If one of my neighbors needed that I'd do it in a heartbeat!

Good luck!

DUTA said...

You've reached a stage where you have to simplify your life and invest all your energies in yourself. Even if you find a reliable dog walker it will still give you headaches.
It has to be your own decision what to do.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

When you get to Leyburn you could employ a responsible teenager to take Tess for one regular walk each day. He or she would appreciate the related pocket money - say £2.50 for each walk. At nine and a half Tess is also a "senior". You need her and she needs you. You are best friends.

Bonnie said...

I don't usually comment but this touched my heart so strongly. Please keep your sweet friend Tess. I know you are thinking of her and if you truly think of her you will keep her. Our pets form such strong bonds with us. She would be heartbroken without you. You can get someone to walk her and remember as she gets older she may not want as many walks. She is such wonderful company for you and you for her. She will adjust to the move much better than you might think.

These are just my opinions but I give them to you with much respect and caring.

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

Just my opinion, but I truly believe that she would rather be with you, whether you can take her on long or even short walks or not. I believe she is more attached to you than she is to her walks. If you put her with other people she would probably wonder where you had gone and why. It could even affect her health. When my husband was in the hospital for more than two weeks a couple of years ago, our little Pomeranian didn't want to eat at all for the first few days and then continued to eat very little as time passed, and then in the evenings he would lay on the floor at the front door continually sniffing the air where the draft comes under the door. I think he was trying to get some scent of my husband. When my husband got to come home from the hospital our Pom was so happy. He got his appetite back the same day.

Throwing Roses said...

De-lurking to throw in my two-cents from California, that you and Tess need each other. You have both lost so much, so stick together. A dog walker is a great idea. Also, I agree with Wilma, get a cross-body purse, and that will free up your hands and arms. I am disabled, with encroaching arthritis now as well, and have only had cross-body bags for years. I have better balance with them, and my shoulders and arms are free to move, or carry things if needed. At least hold off deciding until after you have settled in to your new digs. You may find your mobility is improved a bit, or at least not as stressed, and you and Tess will make some adjustments and be fine.

Hilary said...

If you could ask her.....she would say forget the walks.......I want to be with my family...and that's YOU.

Virginia said...

Well, there's no doubt about what your blogging friends all think! I agree - keep her! You belong together.

Once you're settled into the new house you may find someone close by who can walk her with their dog/s, or a school age child to do it. What a lot you have had to contend with - and always theses times of change are stressful. Hugs to you.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

You must keep her. Your heart would be broken once again if you were parted.

Cro Magnon said...

I am not incapacitated in any way, but I do sometimes wonder if I'd continue to go on my long early morning walks if I didn't have 'Bok'. He gets me outside every morning, rain or shine. I don't think you should even consider not having Tess by your side, even if you no longer go on long walks with her, she'll continue to be your constant friend.

Rozzie said...

I agree with keeping her and using a paid or volunteer dog walker. You would both be lost without each other.

Seasidelife said...

I'm not one of commenting usually but feel I must today.

Keep Tess.

You need each other. She will be picking up on your emotions and probably will be missing the Farmer as much as you do. You've both been through so much and are not settled yet.

Like everyone is saying - try to get a paid dog walker a couple of times a week for her. Sending virtual hugs from Lincolnshire.

Countryside Tales said...

My instinct is to say keep her with you as the two of you are happy together, but ultimately only you know what the right thing is for both of you. Reading your words, it strikes me that it's the walking that's the only issue so the solution would surely be a dog walker and there are lots of people who offer that service. It would mean less disruption for Tess and for you.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for these positive answers.

Jane said...

I have become increasingly limited with mobility due to a knee problem, my little Bichon has adapted and as he grows older he needs less strenuous walks ! He is devoted to me and vice versa ...Keep Tess she is your family and friend

Beachcomber said...

You have answered your own question."I just could not bear to be without my little friend."
As many people have said, maybe employing someone local to dog walk her but also take her for small walks yourself. This will be difficult but it will keep you mobile too. Without Tess you would not have to walk and that would cause you to become even less mobile.
She is part of your family,someone to greet you every day, someone to talk to and are for.
I'm sure Tess, as she gets older would prefer to be with you despite the restrictions you mention.
What you need is a responsible dog loving teenager or adult to share her care.
It may bring you a new friend too.
I keep saying it but I do admire the way you are facing up to difficult decisions.
This is one you needn't make, a dog is for life. Sue

Heather said...

That is a dilemma Pat, and one I wouldn't like to deal with. However, you must do what is right for you, especially knowing that there is a loving home waiting for Tess. She will adjust.
If you can't bear with the thought of parting with her, employ someone to take her for walks and enjoy her companionship and love, and you on good days you can still take her for little walks in between the longer ones.

Minigranny said...

I think everyone has said what I would have. A dog walker would be the answer.

John "By Stargoose And Hanglands" said...

Doing less exercise is not going to help your mobility problems so I think you need to try to manage some short walks if you can. Do you really need to take a handbag or would a small backpack of shoulder-bag be better - or maybe a coat with more pockets? A stick with a wrist-strap can also help.

Linda Metcalf said...

Don't give her up. Her world would be turned upsidedown...use a dog walker

thelma said...

Well I can't read all the comments, but the general consensus is keep her. Remember she is growing old with you and won't require so much exercise, I think you both need each other.
There is a new move, maybe different options for walking her, wait a while for both your sakes. X

Viola Briles said...

You've made so many big decisions in the last few months - give yourself time to get situated in your new place before making this one. She'll survive and adapt in the short term - that's what dogs and people do.

There's nothing more important to a dog than their person. You are hers.

Derek Faulkner said...

Well I think you've well and truly had your answer there Pat and pretty much all agreeing the same thing. One thing though, why do you need a handbag when walking the dog? Mobile in your pocket, stick in one hand, dog lead in the other - sorted surely.

Louise Stopford said...

I agree with all the comments and I really do hope you make the decision to keep Tess. I understand that you are only thinking of her welfare, but you are her "Mum" and animals adapt to changes, especially if they are with the people they love and trust. A dog walker would be the answer and once you are moved and settled and found the right dog loving person to walk her you will be able to get into a routine and Tess will enjoy her walks with her new kind person and enjoy even more coming home to her "mum". Your post really touched me - don't be downhearted, enjoy your life with your best friend.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Derek - depends where I am going - if I am going somewhere where I need money then I need a purse - various other things. I intend to buy a handbag which straps across my body out of the way.
John - you say more or less what Derek says and of course you are both right.

Sue in Suffolk said...

Dogs are very adaptable, and I'm sure Tess will adapt to whatever you manage for walking and there's bound to be someone who'll take her out once you have more neighbours around.
Handbag cross body long strap - never gets left behind and two hands free.

sackerson said...

Reading the comments, I'd say that settles it. W is right!

Kim @ Him, Him Me said...

Weaver, I often read, but don't think I've ever commented. Would you have thought of rehoming Tess, if you didn't know that these people were looking for another dog?
Tess is a part of you, a part of the Farmer & the life you shared together. She also gives you a reason to do things, throughout the day. A dog brings new people into your life, people always stop to talk to a dog and then to you. Tess woud much rather be with you than anywhere else on earth and I think you would miss her company so much.
There is also the possibility, that if Tess were to go to a home with another dog in it, the other dog may not want to share its territory with a new dog, especially if it is missing it's old friend.
When Dad died, Mum couldn't walk Bonny in the same way that dad had, due to her arthritis and other health issues, but Bonny adapted and so did Mum and they were inseperable until Bonny passed away 3 years after Dad.

thousandflower said...

I didn't read all the comments, but the ones I did read seem to agree with me. Keep her as long as you can. She'll be slowing down herself and dogs are adaptable. At least I think you should give it a try when you move and if it really becomes impossible then, well, then see what options there are. I think you two will need each other in the future.

I think of you often.

Granny Sue said...

PI have to agree with everyone else. Keep her. She is good for you, and you are the one she loves. As for managing stick and lead and handbag, etc. --consider getting a crossbody bag that will free you from dealing with the handbag at least.

I wonder if you could have a run or a pen built for you little girl to go outside and get her exercise? That might help with the walks.

Wishing you all the best. These are not easy decisions. I think the hardest part of getting older is that our minds are still perfectly agile, but our bodies not so much.

Rachel said...

I think Weave has got the message.

Derek Faulkner said...

Well done Pat, let us know what you have decided to do - good luck.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks to you all.

ALT57 said...

Just an afterthought would you be able to have an electric mobility scooter. I have seen these transform dog walkers lives as they are able to walk their dogs without having the pain of physically walking (if you see what I mean) dog is tied to the side and off you go.

Google mobility scooter dog walking and you will see people on their scooters with dogs tied to side.

Problem solved

ALT57 said...

The only thing I would add is don't do what I did and move to somewhere with no garden. It has been very hard to have to get up and go out 3,4 plus times a day to allow for toilet breaks in all weathers especially as growing older.

If you are moving to a home with no garden think very carefully about whether you will be able to cope. Our dog needed more and more outside breaks as she aged and it has been difficult.

Sally Fletcher said...

Aww don't rehome Tess 😣You will both miss each other so much xxx