Saturday, 11 September 2010

Early for the Poetry Bus this week.

'Colour' is the topic this week. I have just walked down our lane for a couple of miles with Tess, looking at the dead and dying foliage and the beginnings of the Autumn colours - and I wrote this in my head as I walked. The trouble with doing a weekly 'poem' of course is that there is not time to hone one's words and one's skills, but it does make for spontaneity and - let's face it - we are not aiming for perfection here.

So a poem on colour. Or rather , in my case, a poem on the lack of colour:

All Colour Gone.

It was late when we came
to Ivelet,
where the white bridge shines
in the green landscape.
But the light had gone.

The trees stood
black and still
and the water
shone darkly.

Save for one place
where there were no trees.
Here the water was the hard,
cold silver of the sky.

Upstream a dark shape
slid into the liquid metal,
and ripples,
gentle and noiseless,
made their way to
where we stood.

(Ivelet bridge is the bridge on my header.)

22 comments:

Bovey Belle said...

That is so evocative, Weaver. I especially liked the shape slipping into liquid metal. Beautiful.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Could be a 'Ted Hughes' that one Weaver!

Gwei Mui said...

Oh this dark, rich and velvet to the tongue - great stuff.

lakeviewer said...

I love it! Dark and foreboding, full of possibilities.

Heather said...

Beautiful Pat - I felt I was beside you.

Cloudia said...

"Cold silver of the sky"
is wonderful






Warm Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

George said...

Nice reflective poem, Pat. I, too, like the line about the "cold silver of the sky."

Reader Wil said...

You create a very mysterious atmosphere of a darkening night.
Thanks for your comment on 9 11. You are right we must not forget.

Hildred and Charles said...

I love the spontaneous beauty of your poem, Pat. Some beautiful descriptive phrases and altogether a feeling of loss and consolation (I think...)

patteran said...

Sometimes go with the first draft, Pat. This is delightful - simple, economical and wonderfully vivid.

The Stonehedge Farm said...

What beautiful pictures! I am your newest follower- please come be mine.

Elizabeth said...

Weaver,
You are so precise and elegant in your words.
An odd idea about color vanishing in the autumn

maybe it is just the effects of light!

Emerging Writer said...

some lovely images in there. Very visual and worth reworking I think. Perfection is different every day

Loren said...

I'm with pattern on this.

No use fiddlin' with something this immediate.

Titus said...

Very beautiful, and I love the absence of colour in the colour week -
"But the light had gone."

And thanks for naming the bridge - it is stunning.

Karen said...

If this is what you can do with no time to hone, I think you'd be a force to reckon with if you had the time! This is very visual with the coming night and the creature that disturbs the calm.

Eric Alder said...

Without light there are no colors.

Nice piece, Weaver!

Peter Goulding said...

If this is what you do when you're not aiming for perfection, I'd love to see something when you're really trying!!

NanU said...

Lovely poem, Weaver. It takes me right there in the dark, reminds me I forgot my sweater.

Derrick said...

I really enjoyed this, Weaver. All those colours traded for something more monochrome.

Marion said...

Weaver, you've painted a beautiful word picture here. I love it. Thanks for riding on the Poetry Bus with me. Blessings!!

BT said...

what a beautiful poem Weaver. One can't help but picture the dark water and the slipping shape.