'Busy'. A pretty meaningless word I think. It means something different to each one of us.
There was a time - in what seems to be the far distant past - when I was busy. Our bedsit (wash basin, kitchen cabinet, table with two dining chairs, two single beds, small wardrobe and small settee) - our very happy home for five years of our married life-and a full time office job kept me really busy and fully occupied - Saturday morning was bedsit cleaning morning. Then it was off on the tandem if the weather was fine.
The arrival of a baby and when he was fourteen days old moving into our cottage in the Lincolnshire countryside - baby, new home, front and back gardens to work on from scratch (it was the old school which we had had converted so the surroundings were what had been playgrounds). I used to think I had never before known the real meaning of busy.
Teaching in a large comprehensive - first as Head of a unit for ESL, then as a Head of a large department and finally as Senior Mistress -made me interpret the word again.
Now - 91 - on end of life care - cancer known to be at least in colon, liver, lungs and now bones - it has a different meaning altogether.
One tiny quarter of a hour activity means busy. The rest of the time I sit in my comfy chair (on a cushion aimed at avoiding sores on my bottom from sitting too long), do the mind games, make a pot of coffee, open the curtains all round the bungalow, sit down again, read the Times, get up from my chair, put my dinner in the micro wave, sit and eat it. Gosh I have been busy all morning.
Monday my Grand daughter, her husband and my two Great Grandchildren (7 and 2) called in on their way back home to Glasgow. They stayed for a couple of hours. It was so lovely to see them all. Gosh - what a busy time I had - chatting, laughing with them, generally catching up.
Tuesday my friend E came for sherry. Carer J provided us with a lovely scone each - and E poured the Croft Original - nice large ones! What did I do? Well I put the daffodils E brought me in a pretty jug, put it on my trolley along with the sherries, the scones I had buttered and two paper napkins and pushed it through to my chair. Two and a half hours of chat, laughter and reminiscence followed - lovely busy morning. Friend W called after lunch for an hour and then nearer tea time friend S called with the cash she had got for me. I slept well after such a busy day.
Yesterday? My cleaner D, who comes once a month to clean through the whole bungalow, came. Simultaneously my Doctor came for our half an hour monthly chat. What a brilliant Palliative Care programme we have. District Nurse, Palliative Care Nurses and the Doctor call each month to check on me. Doctor T told me that the whole team then meet once a month for the afternoon during which they discuss each 'end of life care' patient under their care idividually. Carer W came to help me get ready for bed (and brought me a bag of oranges picked the previous day from the orange tree in their garden in Spain!!) - I ate one as soon as she left. Watched a programme on Chimpanzees and how the 'top' male has to constantly plot and fight (and get 'allies' on his side by grooming them), drank my Ispaghula Husk drink and went to bed musing on them being one of our closest relatives and thinking we haven't evolved all that much. Phew - what a busy day - slept like a log (apart from numerous 'toilet' calls best glossed over). Phew and double phew - what a busy day.
Today? Nothing planned. Light covering of snow - that fine stuff you can hardly see falling but which covers all surfaces like a coat of paint. Off now to make a cup of hot chocolate, get a two-finger kit-kat (or maybe a couple of chocolate digestives (decisions, decisions), sit down and do the mind games. Am exhausted at the thought of it all - but at least the house is all clean and shiny and smells of polish.
Looking forward to seeing my Grandson - all the way from Shanghai (must remember to greet him with Ni Hao - the only Chinese word I know).
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44 comments:
Amazing that your little great grand-daughter is now 7 and even the baby is 2 already! How time flies. Enjoy your day, ready to take it easy I would suggest after a busy week.
Maybe you are not so busy in the twilight of your years Pat but surely everyone else is keeping you busy. A charmed life and a happy one what more could you ask for. xxx
The children, friends, scones and Spanish oranges is the sort of busyness I like Weave!
Pat, it is such a pleasure to read from you and how you go about your (end of) life. I know I have said this many times before, but let me repeat it: You are an example to us all!
If I manage to age with the same dignity you have shown throughout the years I have been reading your blog, combined with a sharp wit and sense of humour, an interest in the "big" as well as the "small" things - if I manage that, I'll be glad.
Not had Croft Original for years. Now I want some. Librarian has said it all, dignity and a sense of humour. Would we could all do as well when our time comes.
Lovely to read a blog post from you.
Wishing you the continued best of care.
Josie
You are indeed an example to us all, and I venture to say you most likely have been that way for your entire life. You are a gift.
It sounds like you have had some lovely chatty and very busy days just recently, and more to come too when your Grandson arrives. I've not had a glass of sherry in years, my Dad used to give us a sip of his when we were children and I actually liked it, well I preferred it to the Port that we were also allowed the occasional sip of.
You are a wonderful inspiration and I appreciate you for sharing your life with us. I like your busy, it is enough for now as it seems to provide happiness, peace and contentment. Hugs dear lady!
Your cheerful acceptance makes me ashamed of the moments that I complain about things.
Sending warm wishes on a cold day, all the way from the snowy Isle of Man.
I think you are busy in the best possible way. Reading this, it strikes me: you reap what you sow. You have sown a beautiful life of hard work and tending to others. You are reaping a beautiful harvest. Celebrate with an extra kitkat!
Ugh. I'm Debby.
Here on Sheppey it is cold and seems to have been raining forever. Everywhere is waterlogged and it's a wet, grey, depressing day - and then I read your latest posting! An amazingly honest account from an amazing woman, if only I can accept my life being reduced to just weeks, days or hours as you have now, then I will have learned a valuable lesson from someone special.
We are all so very fortunate to have met you via blogging. I started blogging a few years ago and quickly realized that I am not a blogger but a blog reader. My life is better for having known you and John at Going Gently. I consider you better friends than many that I know in person. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I agree with everything the others have said here especially Librarian. Jackie
You are indeed a great example for all us. I don't often comment but always read your delightful posts. Mostly I find the comments have already said what I would say. You have such good humour and acceptance and are able to get joy from the smallest things and you give joy to all of us who read along.
What a wonderful post, Pat! You explained it so well - how our sense of "busy" changes with the stages of our life. I am glad you have so many family and friends around to keep you busy now. Thanks for sharing these lovely thoughts and happy moments with us.
THe one thing I find difficult to accept is the gradual physical weakening. I think of a job that needs doing - get up to do it and by the time I get to it I have completely run out of steam. It is snow/sleeting here and not particularly cold. Golden crocus still in full bloom though.
I really appreciate your blogs, where you share your current life, and a bit of your bio in describing how busy you've always been. As you may lose the physical abilities slowly, and hopefully with little pain, I wish that you will still be able to write a bit here. I will look forward to each post.
A long, productive life. And do you feel that it has all passed so quickly? I have enjoyed thinking of you in that first bed-sit, ans the excitement of just starting out. And then in your first house...moving with a two-week-old baby! What must that have been like! And after all those years of working and caring for others, now it is finally time to just carr for yourself.
I, too, enjoyed this thumbnail sketch of your life, the changing meaning of being 'busy', and how you cope so well now. Your posts are appreciated and are an inspiration to me. :)
May you be able to continue to comfortably read, think, imagine, teach us, and enjoy your family, friends, neighbors, and Kit-Kats.
And, ah, Pat, you are well loved and well cared for!
Hugs!
You describe an amazing journey with many proud accomplishments and that has to be celebrated. We all wind down over time and it looks different for each and everyone of us. That said, I see you as a woman who knows herself well, has great confidence and executes her plan with perfection. I'm truly impressed. Your friends (blog friends too) and family are near and dear which is always nice; time together sounds wonderful. Seeing your nephew will be outstanding.
Grandson Sue not nephew.
I'm so glad you still have time to write . Have a rest day soon and enjoy those kit-kats
You may define yourself as busy but your mind is a sharp as a tack. You write a very thoughtful and thought provoking blog.
Everyone else keeps saying it, but I have to repeat it: you are such an example and an inspiration in how you're handling this part of your life. If I'm lucky enough to live as long as you I hope I can face my last days with the same dignity, grace, and good cheer. You are an amazing woman.
I feel exactly the same - that these are friends that I care about. Well said everyone on what Pat means to us.
Like all your followers dear Pat, having you share your life stories from way back in the 'good old days' up until today, tomorrow and hopefully a lot longer, has been a beautiful gift you have given us all. You are brave and true, kind and clever, interesting and smart.........you are so many things all wrapped up into our dear "Weaver", and you will be remembered and loved always.
With thanks and sending love, Mary x
At each stage of life you have been busy...but each stage's Busy is different..and even now you are still busy!
I will always think of you whenever I see a Kit-Kat. ~skye
Your 'busy' social calendar sounds wonderful--and exhausting. I must go and take a nap to recover! ;-) I enjoyed learning more about your life and the many things you have done. A rich, full life indeed, Pat! When I remember how 'busy' I always was as a teacher, NOT being busy is one of the things I'm most grateful for in my retirement. I'm tired of being 'busy' and always on the go. I relish slowing down and not having plans for the day. Maybe that will change; maybe it won't. But I can tell you I'd much rather read your blog and your lovely readers' comments of a morning than dash off to school! I loved teaching, but 25 years was enough... Enjoy those golden crocus for me!
Dixie here in West Virginia usa Pat....keep your self going as long as you can. I enjoy your blog so much and I think of you as a good friend. I have been reading your blog for many years. I am 84 and my health is pretty good so I like to stay busy. I play computer games and I have an IPad that I color pictures on. I have a group who meets once a month and we play bunco...which is a dice game in case you don't know. My prayers are for you my friend.
I echo Jacque from Colarado's sentiments...and 42 years teaching for me. I now enjoy the leisure to read your wonderful blog. I start my day with it too.
Isn't the smell of polish lovely Pat! I used to spend time visiting an antique furniture shop here, that featured Welsh dressers and a few specialist pieces hundreds of years old from England. The smell of the the wood polish was divine in that atmosphere. I wonder if the shop is still there. Will put on my to-do list to find out. Thanks again Pat, for inspiring.x - Pam.
Both you and I know how things that once seemed effortless can become major tasks. Most of the time I am OK, but there have been days when just making a drink seems insurmountable. I suspect the King is discovering this at the moment is my guesses about his treatment are correct.
I look forward to each of your posts and have for several years. I learn something about living life well even into old age from you.You certainly know how to pull the interesting and beautiful bits from each day. I wish you many more to spend with your friends, family and all of us.
What a gift you are. I so enjoy reading your blog, you make my life better.
Take Care,
Kay
The only positive about cancer is that people have time to visit with friends and family, and time to say goodbye to those they love. Take care Pat.
I am grateful for every post you write. You really are are role model for me, you show me how to live - and end - life with dignity, humor, and interest in the thing that happen around us. You have great friends, and it must be wonderful to have you as a friend, too.
A lady stopped to greet Billy in the churchyard yesterday, and said that we will have snow this weekend. I don't think we will. Rain, maybe, but no snow.
You have touched so many lives physically and through this blog. You are part of my day and a gift to us all.
Oh Pat, I do so enjoy reading all of your posts! When you tell us about your past years I feel like I'm reading a lovely book. How wonderful to see your Granddaughter and Great-grandchildren! You have had quite a few visitors to enjoy as well. Like others have said, you are truly an inspiration in so many ways!
Tasker Absolutely right- you sum up the feeling very well. Sitting in the armchair I go over jobs to be done when I stand up. Go to the bathroom (usually the major reason for getting out of the chair!!) come out, look at the sitting room door and decide I had better sit down again.
But it is good to have a good life to look back on. Thanks everyone.
I have to tell you how much I enjoy reading your thoughts on daily life.It helps me to keep my day to day in proper perspective. Thank-you for taking the time to blog . Please enjoy every moment .
I think for your energy level you are indeed busy. I find I need plenty of peace and quiet in addition to busy times, as I am an OAP. How exciting your grandson will visit from China and you can use the one Chinese phrase you know. I love your posts and the thoughts you share.
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