Monday, 10 July 2017

Friends

Friends - where would we be without them?   Some people seem to manage quite well without any, but my friends are really important and I love them dearly.

I have lost touch with some as I have moved around the country so much both with my first husband's job and then since retirement, but living here in The Yorkshire Dales is the longest I have ever lived in one place.   I have lived here for thirty years this September.

I was born in Lincolnshire and grew up and went to school there.   I am still regularly in touch with one friend there, a friend I made on my first day at infant school.   We used to visit one another frequently but as we are now both over eighty the visiting has faded away - and all I can say is 'thank goodness for the telephone'  (she doesn't do computers).

Once my son was born we moved deep into the countryside in Lincolnshire and I made a friend there - my neighbour actually.   We still write to one another at Christmas and last year I actually called in to see them - and what is more, after all this time, she recognised me. 

From there the move was to Lichfield in Staffordshire and again it was my neighbour who became a dear friend.   I am Godmother to her only daughter (she is the one I meet for lunch frequently as she now lives up here).   Sadly both my friend and her husband died some years ago and when my God-daughter got married a few years ago I 'gave her away' at her wedding.

Then the move was to Wolverhampton for my son's schooling and also for both my husband's and my jobs (both teachers).   Friends there were numerous and still writing and contacting by phone.

Finally the move on retirement was up here into the Yorkshire Dales and it was here that my first husband sadly died and after a couple of years I married the farmer.  Yorkshire folk are straightforward and friendly - they tend to call a spade a shovel (as we say round here)- and it is very easy to make friends.   It is that circle of friends who have now gathered round to support me when I most need it - this particularly applies to friend W - without her I would be no good at all at present.

One dear friend and neighbour up here has sadly died and her funeral is on Wednesday.   She had just moved away to live with her daughter but her heart remained up here and she is to have her funeral up here by her own choice.   I shall be there along with many villagers who loved her.

Where would we be without our friends in time of need?

21 comments:

Chris said...

Sad to read you have lost a dear friend, I know how you feel. I was devastated to hear one of my friends had died recently and it has made me realise how I hadn't seen three friends for a couple of years. I am booked for an operation on 24th July, but as soon as I am well enough after it, I will be visiting each one in turn.
Hope you will meet new friends when you move.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

I have a few good friends who help to lubricate the journey through life but I must admit that on the whole I am pretty self-reliant and happy with my own company. The seeds of this go back a long way.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

We meet many people in our journey thru life and if we are lucky, some stay to make our lives brighter and enjoyable. I have always needed people and like you, have been very fortunate to have many long time friends. My sympathy on the loss of friend.

Derek Faulkner said...

I am pretty much of the same ilk as Yorkshire Pudding and even the couple of friends that I have, I prefer to mostly keep at arms length so to speak, ringing them up rather than visiting them. I know it's traditional to live your adult life in pairs and move in social flocks but it's not for me. As for people calling a spade a shovel, I'm a great believer in being blunt like that but find that many people who profess to be like that, find it difficult to accept the same bluntness back in return.

Bovey Belle said...

That is so true. I am sorry that you have lost a dear friend, so soon after your dear husband.

My best friend from infant school days died last year and I am still coming to terms with this. On the up side, I have made many friends online, and some of those are "lifers", and we are close. Without the internet I would never have met them, so it can be a power for good.

In the countryside it is very easy to become lonely, and I am so glad to hear you have such a good circle of friends to support you.

Cro Magnon said...

I would say that I have quite a small group of really very good friends, but I'm not big on 'acquaintances'. I'm not a clique person.

donna baker said...

You are truly blessed Pat. My sister has stayed in touch with friends from grade school and still keeps in touch with them all. Even her ex-husband. It is a gift I think. I am an introvert and am quite happy to be by myself, but do have friends I connect with from time to time. I always know they are there if I need them and vice versa. They know how I am. So sorry about your friend. It does become more common as we age.

jinxxxygirl said...

Most of the time i'am quite content with my own company.... I'am a loner, quiet, shy and very few people take the time to get to know someone like that....Like donna i would consider myself an introvert.....I'm not very good at maintaining friendships even once i do manage to have one.. To be honest this has not really bothered me over the years... I'am not one to want to go out and do things with friends... shopping , or to the movies..etc... I'd rather go by myself... But as i get older and i begin to think about things... that if anything was to happen to my hubby... who really is my best and only friend... I worry.. perhaps i should have tried a little harder........Hugs! deb

Mac n' Janet said...

My husband is my best friend and I would be lost without him. My family moved a lot when I was growing up and Mac was in the army for 21 years so we were always moving. I do stay in touch with a few friends that I taught school with.
You are very lucky to have such a supportive group of friends.

Rachel said...

I am glad you have the friends you want. We are all different. I have a few friends from different phases of my life. I would not be seeing them locally so if I was in your shoes I would be on my own, and perfectly content.

Mary said...

I have scattered friends - some from childhood and school days back in England whom I try to catch up with when visiting. Some who've been neighbors and parents of my children's friends over the fifty plus years I've lived here in the US. My oldest friend is Paula who lives in Calif. and takes me on the wonderful expeditions I often write about. We both hail from Torquay but went to different schools so didn't meet until we discovered one another in Washington, D.C. 53 years ago, became roommates, and have managed to keep our friendship active despite living on opposite coasts! These days I have several special local friends and enjoy time with them - but admit I still prefer to shop alone!
Online friends via the blogging world, for ten years, have been wonderful additions to my list of lovely people and I have been blessed to meet many of them in person around the world.

Pat, so glad you have good friends - especially now. I just know they are blessed having you in their lives also.
Hugs - Mary

Heather said...

Sad to learn that you have lost a friend and so pleased you have W to see you through the difficult times. You are also a good friend yourself.

Christine Phipps said...

You are so lucky to have such good friends , I have never really made any friends , I just have my hubby and my son and daughter . Hubby says I have an abrasive personality which neither of my children seem to have inherited as they both have lots of friends .

angryparsnip said...

You have many friends but I know you are a good friend to them.

cheers, parsnip and thehamish

Librarian said...

It says a lot about a person when they are able to keep friendships for so many years, such as you with your friend since infant school. My Mum is still friends with someone she's known since her kindergarden days, too.
My circle of friends has changed, as it naturally does, over the years. One leaves school, starts to work, finds a partner and meets the partner's friends and family, and so on. But there are still a select few in my circle of friends I've known since I was 5 years old, although most of the people I call my friends today go back only about 20 years or so.
Only very few of these are close friends, though, and I would not confide problems or turn to them if I was in a difficult situation. When my husband died, the people who really rallied round were my family. Some of my friends just did not know how to handle the situation.

justjill said...

My Mother managed to rid herself of friends throughout her life. And family. Whether I have inherited this or not I have few friends I would call on. Sad but true. Although I seem to always be able to connect with people around me. I do feel that my Mother did major damage to me.

Alphie Soup said...

A lovely tribute to friends and friendship.

Alphie

Gerry Snape said...

I met up with some friends from my teenage years on Friday...we are scattered and some also living back in Ireland. Then on Sunday we met some new friends and that was also a joy...old and new ...both important Pat!

The Broad said...

my mother had a sampler that she made at a very young age. It said 'A real friend is a great treasure'. And she had many friends, though she would always say hat my father was her best friend. One of her friends she had longer than she could remember -- and her mother and her old friend's mother were also best friends! I have been very fortunate with my friends and that old saying of my mother's sampler has proven so true throughout my life. You and I are very lucky indeed to have been so blessed.

The Weaver of Grass said...

So interesting to read everyone's attitude and idea of friendship - it just goes to show that we are all different doesn't it. Thanks for joining in.

Hildred said...

Oh yes, Pat - I do agree with you. I have friends, but unfortunately I have lived so long that all of the dear friends of years gone by have left me here alone with another generation, who are kind and sweet but it is not the same and I miss my good, dear friends terribly.