Tomorrow it will be five years since my dearest farmer died. Time is such a strange thing. In many ways it seems like yesterday and in other ways it seems like forever. When I think it is thirty one years since my dear first husband died I can't believe it. But I always feel sad on these days. One looks back on memories of happy times together - memories which are not always of "memorable" things. Sometimes a memory of one or the other of them pops into my mind. Often with David it is seeing marsh marigolds which we both loved. With my first husband it is often a painting I see in a television programme - an artist we both loved or a place we visited together. But these memories become more vivid around these anniversaries and make one sad. I shall be pleased when tomorrow is over.
At the height of the day today it was a lovely day - still, sunny, warm. And on looking round my garden there were honey bees, bumble bees, butterflies, all manner of wild life. Frustratingly I can no long garden - it is all I can do to hold on to Priscilla and stay upright. I walked round the block with difficulty - pulling myself up out of the chair presents difficulty but I make myself do it hoping that it will get easier if I do it every day.
Book group will soon be here (first Monday in the month) and it is my book for April so I have started reading it again this afternoon sitting in a shady corner of the garden. I think I have mentioned it before. It is William Trevor's "Felicia's Journey" - certainly not a laugh a minute but Trevor is a brilliant story-teller and from the first word he sets the scene brilliantly.
See you again tomorrow dear blog-friends....
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28 comments:
I am so glad the bumble bees, honey bees and butterflies are in your garden Pat. Memories crowd the mind, and can be happy but the sense of melancholy is hard to overcome I think.
"Tomorrow it will be five years since my dearest farmer died."
Sending love to you and your dearest farmer. Your love story reaches my heart.
May time leave you with gentle happy memories of your wonderful, kind husbands that overcome the sadness of tomorrow.
Perhaps you need to treat yourself to a pot or three that hold favorite plants, flowers, or herbs like chives, parsley, rosemary, mint .. for inside on a window sill or table top near a window where you can reach them easily? They should not need too much upkeep but would add great deal of pleasure and maybe fragrance or yummy flavor.
Hugs!
You were so blessed to have 2 great marriages and each of them so different.
My hubby will be 2ys in April and like you seems so long ago and then again like yesterday.
You do great for your years. Xx Sylvia
I rarely comment but I faithfully read your blog and look forward to each post with pleasure. It is as if you are showing me the way on how to age gracefully...I am 71 now. May you stay well and on your feet much longer and continue providing so many of us with an insight into your life and getting older.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow, may you have a day of happy memories.
I suppose it is only natural to feel sad at the loss of someone who was dearly loved, but you also have so many happy memories of them.
This week should hopefully bring some warm, Spring sunshine to brighten the garden and our days.
Sad, but a lovely post. I know what you mean about time. I continue to scan in our colour slides - I'm back to 1992 now - and while some seem like yesterday, others seem so long, long ago.
Wishing you a day of happy memories of your dear farmer. You certainly were lucky to find two wonderful husbands to share your life.
Found your blog from John Gray when the farmer was sick. Have followed you since. It seems like only yesterday to me.
I'm also mending and trying to get the old bod back to working a bit more than it currently wants. Add to that your sad memories, and I wish you to hug yourself for all the good times shared. It's easy to think of a good life lived...but we need to focus on today. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
Remembering the best of times shared with much loved ones that have passed is hard. I tell myself I was lucky to have had these people in my life and it eases the feeling of loss. Like you say, tomorrow is another day and we must find joy in each day. Walking every day is very good and now that the weather is cooperating it becomes easier. The Spring Beepers are singling today; they know it is Spring.
The perfect way to spend an afternoon; sitting in the garden reading. We are supposed to have more sunny days to come.
Bittersweet memories for you tomorrow. It is just over 5 years since my husband died. I can't believe how quickly the time has passed, yet looking back it seems to be much longer.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I know what you mean about the sadness memories bring when they involve someone who is no longer with us. I think of my mother daily and miss her terribly. I have a favourite picture of her which I gaze at every single day. It feels like she's smiling at me through that picture. I know that when I'm happy, my mother is happy, so I continue to try to make every day a good one.
Dear Weave.
Take care tomorrow.
Anniversaries of our losses are always tough. We miss people terribly. It's easy for me to say there were lots of good times to remember . But it's good times and company that we really miss. You're trooper to keep going like you do.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping you have a peaceful day with some happy memories. Such days are difficult but know you have friends that care.
I can relate so well to what you say about time and memories, dear Pat.
And isn't it wonderful to see life "spring" up all around you again? We had such a sunny, mild day yesterday, too. The whole week will be like this, but nights and mornings are frosty - 0C as we speak!
I hope that tomorrow will be a gentle day for you.
Thinking of you today Weave x
Memories are lovely in some regards but often are tinged with sadness, but isn't that life? Enjoy your book group and the company.
Lovely memories Pat. xx
It's always a surprise when one realizes just how long a loved one has been gone from our lives. I recall the passing of your farmer, a lovely gentleman, and wonder where those five years have gone. Thankfully you moved on so well dear Pat, but I can understand it has been hard at times. I have always admired you as you made your way forward and shared so much with us.
It was nineteen years ago this past week that I lost my dear mother - however in some ways it still feels like yesterday!
Stay safe and well.
Hugs - Mary
The love doesn’t die does it. Thinking of you. Jean
Thinking of you - I hope the sun will shine for you today ! x
Thank you all of you - how good you are keeping in touch with this 'old dear' - you will never know much she appreciates it.
Time hurts and time heals... just as grief is the price we pay for past joy... all different sides of the same coin. Take good care.
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