As we said when we were kids in the playground. Well I am no kid now - pretty decrepit in many ways but I try. But I have to admit to two cases in the past week when I have been a coward and I am ashamed to tell you. There was a day when I would have been thought of as that haridan in the bungalow at the top of the road. But not any more.
About a week ago, just as the six o'clock news was starting, I watched a lady across the road with a dog.Dogs like to sniff where other dogs have been so fair enough - it was identifying various dogs, but then quite suddenly it left an identifying poo. Did the lady pick it up in a poobag? No she did not. She just strolled off and left it on the grass at the side of the road. There was a time when I would have been out of the door like a shot and shouted across the road for her to pick it up please. Did I? No I did absolutely nothing. In the first place the effort of getting up, getting the garage door open, getting Priscilla out was all too much effort and secondly I don't wish to be identified in that light when I am old and live alone.
Then yesterday there was another instance. Opposite my bungalow is a building plot which belongs to the builders who built the estate. I presume they may be leaving it until they retire and can build a bungalow for themselves, or maybe they are keeping it as an investment (the way housing has shot up round here it is a very good investment.) Here and there on the site (which is grassy) are clumps of snowdrops and daffodils. Lo and behold yesterday afternoon a grey haired lady in a red anorak turned up with a spade over her shoulder and attacked a large clump of daffodils in full bloom. I watched her in horror as she attempted to steal them. Luckily after about ten minutes of digging, still having not managed to uproot the first clump, she looked around to see if anyone was looking (I was but she didn' t spot me) then, like one of the seven dwarfs, she put her spade over her shoulder and marched off down the road. And I did nothing.
I am ashamed dear bloggers. This is not me. It is still troubling me today but the effort is all too much and I just can't be bothered. Both small incidents but many small incidents make for one large one. When I go on my daily walk - only a round the block short one - I encounter the same by now familiar items of rubbish - the odd beer can, two or three discarded masks, various chocolate wrappers, a quite large piece of white polystyrene-I feel ashamed that I am not either collecting them up in a sack for Priscilla to carry back to my rubbish bin or writing to the council to say they need collecting up. And I look at the gutters at the side of the road - gutters which used to be swept at least fortnightly by the council but are not any longer and are now thick with the detritus of last year's Autumn twigs and leaves and I vow to write to the council and ask why. But then I get home and the sheer effort of getting out the writing pad and envelopes, typing the letter with my shaking hands, walking to my desk with my Zimmer frame to get a stamp from my desk, walking across the road to post the envelope (not I hasten to add in my slippers) is most likely to no avail. So I, like everybody else, lets sleeping dogs lie.
But , the Spring sun is out. the birds are singing, the tete-a-tete daffodils are at the their best, the weather forecast says a few more days of this before it breaks - all we need now is for that wretched war to somehow end, for the "powers" to agree to stop the dreadful suffering and for everyone then to join in a rebuilding programme and get those refugees home. They have no wish to be refugees - they want their homeland. Oh that they could have it.
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35 comments:
Oh my love. I can imagine how you feel with dog poo and stealing flowers. However, you must conserve your energy. You often remark that you have not had your walk today, too tired or weather is poor. Tell one of your younger neighbours about these two miscreants. They will keep their eyes out in future. So, so annoying but you live alone and if you did go out and shout at both of them, which they soundly deserve, it would just upset you and maybe leave you vulnerable. Sit down stop feeling guilty. All we can do is keep our own consciences clear and our ethics noble. Take care you are anything but a coward. I love your blog and read it every day. A fairer kinder person I reckon it would be hard to find. Much love Andie xxx
Oh well, relax and enjoy what you do do and sod the buggers. Read your book and have a sleep.
I think at our age we are entitled to a little 'cowardice'. I was out with my dog once and saw another walker's dog leave it's calling card. There was little evidence of it being picked up so I sweetly offered once of my 'poo bags'. That is the extent of my courage.
Some days just living requires all one's energy, so do not feel guilty about not taking on any extra duties! Just enjoy these beautiful spring days for as long as they last.
At nearly 90 you've done your bit. It's for others to do theirs now.
Asking a neighbor to help with these issues might work for you. When you are out for a walk or a neighbor pops in, share your concerns and maybe they can work out a way to solve the problems.
Please don't put yourself in danger. The dog poo with dry and break up, then wash away with the next rain. The daffodils will bloom next year. Nature is wonderful.
I sympathise with you. While my boys and my husband might disagree I feel that I've always found it hard to assert myself and find confrontation most upsetting. That said I have asked maskless shoppers where their masks were, never had an honest answer but did it in the hope that they might wear one in the future. I think we should know our limitations and not feel guilty if retreat is our safest option. I think Andie's comments puts it well.
Sometimes, we just have to do what is best for us as individuals. No regrets. I tend to speak up in most cases. That said, lately I prefer peace over confrontation. Today is raining lightly and the grass is getting greener. The floating ice behind my house is gone. Finding goodness each day is important.
Be gentle with yourself, dear Pat. You have unwelcome limitations now and endure them gracefully. You've made a rich life for yourself and you let books take you away! You entertain yourself, others in your real environment, and us far-flung online friends who love your musings, stories, shared memories, and garden. Fret not.
Hugs!
Andie and Tracy put it better than I could. Rachel too. X
Dear Pat,
You often talk about so much in the World that you can do little about. Perhaps the things that you mention here are in your little World and you can do something about them, finally something you can do and have control over..... Maybe tomorrow you'll feel up to tackling them. Hugs! deb
At least the daffodil thief was thwarted in her crime. Maybe tomorrow the dogwalker will step in the poo.
You've witnessed things that are probably typical in most of our towns and villages unfortunately and far too often the guilty parties react very angrily when challenged, so stay indoors and safe.
If you can be bothered send a e=mail to the council, or to your councillor it works.
To be honest Pat I don't blame you - I am in my 50's and admonished two school girl for leaving rubbish after having a picnic - well I think I'm lucky that I got away with being spat at and called all kind of names. Unfortunately it's not always a kind world we live in and while no harm may come to you I agree there's no need to put yourself out there. Stay safe.
That's not being cowardly, it's being sensible, isn't it? You don't want to highlight the fact that you are old, struggle with mobility and on your own. That wouldn't be a good idea. As for the woman stealing daffodils, she didn't succeed, so that's something.
If you can manage an email to the Council, that would be a positive thing - for YOU. You would feel that you had at least gotten it off your chest.
Select your battles, is my advice! Or perhaps invest in a loud-hailer!!!
You are not being cowardly at all! I agree with Tasker, you have more than done your part over your lifetime and now it is time for others to do theirs. It is wonderful that you are such a caring person but please don't let this worry you as such worry can't be good for your health. If you feel you must do something then send an email to the Council and then know you have done what you can. Take good care my friend!
Think I would have yelled out the window at the daffodil stealer but probably wise not to do anything at all. Do not feel guilty about not doing anything, rest on your laurels for what you have done in your life. Smart arse reply to people who do not pick up dog mess. 'Oh you are not going to hang it from a tree then?'
I find the negative energy that comes from disagreeable confrontations are rarely worth it. I've always avoided them. You do wonderful things every day by taking the time to compose this delightful blog. You're already doing more than your part.
At different times, and for different things, it's maybe time to pass the baton.
Yes, I am quite elder like you. I live alone on a quiet street in my old hometown. I see many of the same things you wrote about. I went through that phase of "feeling ashamed of myself" for not trying to speak out for change. But after long thought, I have decided that today's world belongs to the younger generations now...not me. My grandson is 21...I have told him "this is your world now..please take good care of it". That's the best I have left to offer.
I live in the US.
I am sure you created merry hell in the past when necessary. It is time to let others take on the role (and sigh and move on if they don't). Even though I am younger than you, age is creeping up and I am learning to pick my battles. Sadly, these days, drawing attention to the perpetrators could have turned nasty and dangerous for you. You were wise to say nothing.
If you cannot catch up with them to remonstrate, be happy knowing they cannot live like that and get off unscathed. Bad things reward bad behavior, and it's not an old woman yelling at them.
I seem to notice such bad behavior all the time. It seems so many seem to think they are more important, so they don't need to be bothered.
At one time telling someone to clean up would have worked . today, not so much. Today there is a risk that someone could return an do some vandalism.
Recently, when out with Billy, I found an orange Sainsbury's bag in the park, so decided to fill it with all the rubbish around. I hadn't really noticed how much there was, but ended-up with quite a bag-full. Dropping rubbish is something that totally baffles me!
I walk the route to our primary school and to the school bus stop almost every day. I can clearly see if it is a school day or a holiday by the amount of litter along the street. I used to speak up whenever I saw someone littering, but I gave it up after I was spat at and told they knew where my garden was. And this is the generation who tell us that we have ruined the planet and their future!
You are definitely not a coward. You have to do what is right for yourself and protect you.
Hilde's thought about the generation who accuse us of stealing their future is exactly what I was thinking yesterday. On my after-work walk, for a short bit I walked behind three young lads, teenagers. From their body language you could clearly see they thought they were the lords of the 'hood, and the middle one especially seemed to be the alpha male in that little group. They carried cans of Red Bull and other stuff, and at some point the middle boy chucked the can onto the grass next to the path. About 50 yards ahead were benches and dustbins...
Did I say anything? Did I pick up the can?
No, I did not, for exactly the same reasons given from the others here.
I felt bad and cowardly, and tried to figure out how come these lads did not see the beauty of the grass and shrubs in bloom next to them, but did not spare a single thought for nature - or the people who will have to clean up after them.
I am glad that you didn't confront these people.....you might have had a brick through your window or worse as they are obviously not nice types!
You are not alone. When my workshop buildings get attacked - which they often do - I just clear up and carry on. If I identified the attackers they would return and do more damage - which they have done in the past. I try to ignore it now.
You are not a coward, or a cowardy custard in any sense of the word, you are a gentle soul that knows her own limitations.
Try not to let your lack of 'action' play on your mind too much, easier said than done I know, but let some things wash over you and just relish the fact that YOU at least know right from wrong and the poo lady and the daffodil lady do not.
I really think your instincts were good and you chose the wiser option in both cases.
Definitely not something you should feel in any way badly about.
Living alone it is wise to be cautious.
If people are behaving badly they will probably not react well to someone commenting on their actions.
Its a different world out there - you have to be careful.
Two trite thoughts ......Better safe than sorry and What goes around comes around.
Enjoy another day of sunshine
Sometimes its best to stay quiet for your own safety so don't feel bad about this, what these people do will catch up with them no doubt!
Thank you all - I feel much better about things now - you have done me good.
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