Thursday, 27 January 2022


I know I mentioned it before but I am reading Jan Morris's 'In My Mind's Eye' perfect evening reading when the mind is too tired to take in more than a couple of pages.   One hundred and eighty odd very upmarket blog posts - every one a jewel.   And one in my short read last evening brought back a memory from the past.

My parents were happily married for well over fifty years and my mother sadly died first leaving my father bereft.   My sister, who lived in the same village, made him a sitting room cum bedroom in her bungalow and he lived with her for almost a year before he had to go ino hospital with a severe kidney illness.   He never came out and died shortly after - peacefully in his sleep.

I was reminded of the week of his death vividly by one of the episodes in Jan Morris's book.   Not long before she died she was in hospital with a severe kidney infection and one evening, dozing in bed - suddenly through the ward came an ornate, decorated carriage pulled by beautiful horses and filled by beautifully dressed people.   When the nurse came by she asked her what the occasion was.   It turned out there was no occasion and nobody would have seen it but she.   Kidney infections sometimes lead to vivid imaginative hallucinations and this is what had happened.

The night before my father died my sister was sitting by his bed in the hospital ward when he turned to her and said our mother had been given an important job.   She was in the ward that afternoon organising an important Indian burial with all the ceremony.   He was particularly pleased that she was dressed in the most beautiful sari and she looked young again and her hair was black again.

At the time we found it quite moving and not at all distressing.   All his life my father was interested in India - its religions, its customs - his dearest wish had always been to go but of course in those days there was not that kind of money about was there?

See you tomorrow when another Friday bites the dust. 


Anne Bee said...

What an interesting post Pat. x

The Feminine Energy said...

What a beautiful story about your Dad, Weaver. My mother lived with me the last 7 years of her life & died here too, with my two youngest children & I standing around her bed, praying. She had a beautiful death... one that I hope for myself, when the time comes. ~Andrea xoxo

Anonymous said...

That was a beautiful story. My cousin’s grandma (on other side of family) was baking cookies. Her son came to visit , could smell cookies burning in the oven. His mother had passed away in the kitchen chair, with the Bible open on her lap.

Melinda from Ontario said...

I loved the story of your father's final evening. What a lovely hallucination he had about your mother. I can see why it brought his loved ones comfort. We all want the final days of the people we love to be comfortable, even joyous if possible. It sounded like your dad experienced that joy as he was leaving this world. My friend told me a story about her father's passing that has always stuck me as the perfect way to die. He passed sitting in his favourite recliner, watching the news, his beloved dog on his lap, while dinner was being prepared in the kitchen.

Bonnie said...

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful memory about you Dad. It is good to know our loved ones can have peaceful and soothing thoughts in passing. You have reminded me that a bit before my Mother died she described to me a wonderful litter of kittens in the hospital room across the hall from her room. She was a great lover of cats and kittens and I know this thought was a happy one to her.

Anonymous said...

A lovely post.-Pam.

Debby said...

What a sweet story, Pat. I really find myself chomping at the bit to go and to do, suddenly very aware that in the background, there is a ticking clock...and man, that clock is loud. I am sad that your father never got to see India.

Heather said...

Such poignant memories. It must have been a comfort to know that your father died peacefully in spite of a serious illness. My father did the same - after seeming to be so better, he died in hospital in his sleep. May we all go in a similar way when our time comes.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Deebby - foreign travel was rare in those days so I am sure he never really expected to go.

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Joanne Noragon said...

My father treated us to some spectacular sights. We all four were smiles, listenng.

Cro Magnon said...

After my mother died, I kept hearing her calling my name. Strange things happen.

thelma said...

It is good to know that your father went happily with his dreams fulfilled. Sometimes dreams are better than the reality.

Librarian said...

When I found my husband dead in our living room upon my return from work on Nov. 5 in 2009, he looked very peaceful, and I hope his last thoughts were pleasant, too.
Who knows how we will go when our time comes. Falling asleep never to wake up again sounds perfect.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Oh Librarian how I feel for you. Sudden death of one's loved one might be perfect for the one who has gone - but a terrible shock for the one left. Good thast you have found OK - I read of your walks together and you sound so happy.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thank you all for your input

A Smaller Life said...

What a lovely post, two really fascinating tales with a real moving link to them.