Thursday, 20 January 2022

Can I opt out please?

 A bit of a rhetorical question because I think I have done over the last year or two and nobody in the whole world will have missed me.   And when I die - which will not be all that far into the future as I shall be ninety in October- everything I think, feel and talk about will disappear into thin air - and all my possessions will either become those of someone in my family or they will go to the salerooms for sale and become the property of someone else - and all traces of me will disappear apart from a few faded photographs and a few memories which  will gradually become less distinct and fade away.   And that is as it should be and as it is for everyone.

So, when I look at the disgraceful goings on in Parliament I think I am entitled to just ignore it -, or the shield-bashing in the Ukraine, or the possible mishandling of the Covid crisis, or the state of the NHS, or the poverty in our so-called civilised country- I could go on but I won't- because all my  worrying about it, all my discussing it with others, all my expressing of my feelings have for the last eighty nine years altered things not one iota and they won't do now.   So from hereon in I shall enjoy the days of sunshine, enjoy the company of my friends and family, appreciate the love and friendship they bestow on me and try to live whatever time I have left in peace.

    And I must say as I always do that you all contribute greatly to my life and for the I thank you most sincerely.

49 comments:

John "By Stargoose And Hanglands" said...

You seem to have overlooked the fact that you spent many of those years as a parent and a schoolteacher: if educating the younger generation is not having an effect on the future of humankind then I don't know what is. Of course there is much that still needs to be done but you have earned the right enjoy the sunshine and birdsong.

Rachel Phillips said...

Sounds like your mind is made up on all fronts. Enjoy yourself.

suzanne dorries said...

Oh my You have lived a beautiful life full of sunshine and happy thoughts. Not many have but I feel like you are giving up and I must say do not. You are a beautiful soul. My mother died recently and I understand the faded memories but someone will cherish it as i have.

John Going Gently said...

You have been a part of my blog life for so many years pat
And you have enriched it greatly xx

Barbara Anne said...

Pat, not only have you enriched the lives of your many students, but also of your family, friends, neighbors, and now all of us who appreciate your blog, your thoughts, your wise opinions, and you. Not only that, but you've given (and are giving) us a pattern for growing old gracefully and still enjoying yourself and your abilities. I will remember you, sweet friend.
Meanwhile, write on!

Hugs!

Lynn Marie said...

I think you are very wise. Worrying and discussing may not change current events, and you may well give yourself permission to stop; you certainly don't need ours. Don't forget that your honesty and generosity in sharing your thoughts ripples out to those of us fortunate enough to receive them and has a beneficent effect on the world that you may never realize. (And I pulled out the ten-dollar word "beneficent" because just saying "good" didn't seem good enough in such a solemn comment!)

Daisy Debs said...

I totally agree with you ! I do love reading your bloggings ! 💐x

JennyP said...

You set a gracious example on how to live each day in all situations, we coming not so far behind are always grateful and enjoy your company and stories

busybusybeejay said...

You are such a role model for me.

gz said...

The best way..there is nothing we can do, so why ruin the rest of our lives stressing?

Enjoy the company of friends and be positive

it's me said...

You have brought me a lot of smiles and have proved to be a great role model for aging gracefully . I think you have earned the right to say” I’m going to enjoy myself from now on.”

Mary said...

Oh yes, a role model; a woman with opinions but not opinionated enough to ever dislike; an excellent writer of words we enjoy reading; thoughts shared with us that hit the nail on the head over and over. . . . .and make us say to ourselves, "yes Pat, I thought that too." You would be missed but you would never be forgotten. I often see myself through you although I'm about 10 years younger - but definitely not 'young.' I have days when I feel like giving up but of course won't because there is still much to see, experience, enjoy, cry over, laugh about, and definitely remember - good and bad. That's what life is all about and we owe it to ourselves to continue best we can, doing what makes US happy, brings a smile and makes us say, "I am loved, and so glad I'm alive."

Hang in there dear Pat. Sending a warm hug, good wishes, and some chilly sunshine from North Carolina.
Mary x

Melinda from Ontario said...

You will linger with me for the rest of my days. I have great admiration for the way you look for joy in the small things and persevere through the rough patches. As many said before me, you are a wonderful role model.

Beverley said...

I love your bloggings Pat. I agree the government are a right shower at the moment.
As Winston Churchill used to say, " Keep buggering on" !!

Anonymous said...

I went to a beautiful funeral yesterday of a much-loved widower who, although he and his wife were not blessed with the children they so much wanted, was a shining beacon to his many nieces and nephews, now in their sixties and seventies. One of his nephews led the service. I loved this bit of the eulogy.

"Uncle Cyril said to me last week, Brenton I have one regret in life". Not knowing where to go with this I simply replied "Oh?"
'Cyril said "Painting the piano yellow."

So Pat, in keeping with your post, the yellow piano is somewhere with someone else, and everyone will always remember this charming and caring gentleman, and enjoy his legacy of hand-made furniture kept away from the paint pot.- Pam

Heather said...

A very wise decision and I have come to that conclusion myself. However, you must have meant so much to the children you taught, your husbands and son, and to all the friends you have made around the world. Do not underestimate the effect you had on all those lives.
We may lie in bed at night worrying about the state of the world and possibly feeling guilty because we are warm, well fed, safe from harm and comfortable, but the fact remains that apart from donating to various worthy causes, there is nothing we can do the make things better.
I wouldn't mind betting that our parents and grandparents had the same feelings at some point in their lives too. It was ever thus.

Tasker Dunham said...

Not only what we own but the world. As we grow old it is no longer ours, it belongs to younger people, be they similar to us or different, and if they want to do what to us looks like making a mess of things, then it's their problem.

Linda from Alabama said...

I must say that I enjoy your blog and gain so much in your interesting and warm postings.

Minigranny said...

Bravo- you are a shining light ! X

vic said...

Oh, my goodness. Have you not ever watched "It's a wonderful life"? All the things that George Bailey (James Stewart) did that influenced other things for the better which he never stopped to count as his contribution to the world around him. So often we never know what out actions, words or beliefs bring about in the context of the lives around us that we touch. Those things, good and bad, continue on and maybe don't have our name attached to them but they are still out there reverberating on into the future.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thank you for all your kind coments.

the veg artist said...

Here's hoping for lots of warm, sunny weather for you to sit out in!

Hilary said...

I concur, and must say that my plan is the same.

Lynn said...

Dear Pat, you will never know just how much your posts have inspired me to carry on and enjoy life inspite of my disability. Thank you. x

marlane said...

Life is for us to enjoy to the fullest, I follow the teachings of Eckhart Tolle from the Power of Now. If you can change something do it, and if you can not then let it go and move on.

Gardener said...

We cannot change the world but we can change the way we think about it by not having opinions on everything and concentrating on being the change we would like to see. Thinking and acting with grace rather than judgement is a positive rather than a negative approach. It might nor solve injustices but imagine what the world would be like if everyone took a similar attitude.

Susan said...

Living life to the fullest on your own terms is ideal. Bravo!

Celie said...

Maya Angelou wrote " I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." I think all of your blog friends will remember the wonder you've made us feel. Celie

Red said...

You have accurately described our end. However, I don't think you will ever not be interested in the affairs around us. I think you would be very surprised if you listed the changes in the world during your life time. They haven't all been good changes but changes none the less.

Cro Magnon said...

But don't forget Weave, that your thoughts and opinions will remain in 'cyber-world' forever; or at least until some global disaster.

Hilde said...

You are an important part of my day, I read your blog every morning - before breakfast! I am twenty years younger than you are, and I admire the way you live your live through all kinds of situations. You are definitely a role model. Thank you for blogging every day, most persons of your age don´t even know what a blog is.
Hilde in Germany

sparklingmerlot said...

I'm with you. The husband gets all worked up about stuff and my attitude at this stage of life (and I'm only! 65) is to smell the roses, enjoy the sunshine and focus on those I love. When we are gone we still live on in the hearts and memories of those who knew us.

Derek Faulkner said...

Your contributions to the world that you've lived in may not of been earth shattering but they have greatly influenced the people around you - your husbands, the schoolchildren, your friends and no doubt all have been eternally thankful for knowing you.
Now sit back, bask in the warmth of knowing that and enjoy what life is left.

thelma said...

Never undermine yourself Pat, you are a beacon of light for all of us. Everyone has said what are the most beautiful things in your character. Treasure that. Summer is on its way, be sure to have that bench in the front garden so that you can talk to the people as they go by.

Librarian said...

Knowing what I know about you through your blog, I don't think you were fishing for compliments when you said that no-one would have missed you.
Because you know - and it is very obvious from every comment here - that we, your readers and friends, would have greatly missed you!
I remember how worried we all were when you broke your hip and were in hospital, and none of us knew anything for a while.

Yes, sit back and enjoy; go for your walks whenever you can, chat to your friends and neighbours, have delicious meals and read good books!

A Smaller Life said...

You will have left more behind than you will ever know. Enriching the minds of children through education is priceless. Imparting your wisdom and knowledge through writing and blogging empowering, and being there for friends that may live longer than you will leave them sad but with many happy memories when you are gone.

As you say worrying is pointless ... it's like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere or change anything.

Rachel Phillips said...

We can only take your word for it Weave. Dead people in my experience are soon forgotten with memories of something amusing about them coming back occasionally. Opting out is normal for the elderly and sitting and staring into space is normal and moaning about everything and everyone is also normal.

Derek Faulkner said...

That last paragraph sounds like a description of me Rachel, and I'm only 74.

Rachel Phillips said...

A reality check was needed, it was getting into the realms of fantasy.

Jennyff said...

I sometimes feel sad that when I go my valued possessions will disappear and possible some unknown seller will benefit from their worth. Then I think of all the beautiful things I've had from family or found in antique and charity shops. I love them as I hope their previous owner did, I have just been taking care of them. Lets both enjoy what we have while we can.

diana said...

❤️

marlane said...

I should add that I am a believer in something more than the mundane human form. That we exist forever in other dimensions. I am sort of a believer in reincarnation and am hoping not to have to come back to the earth plane next time around. That our minds can not fully see or grasp other realities. Just think about something like how far does the universe go for as a mind teaser.

Ellen D. said...

I always enjoy your blog, Pat, and I am glad to have found you. You have also led me to many other terrific blogs which I certainly appreciate. You and the blogs I read have brightened many of my days! Thanks!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Lots of interesting contributions again - thank you for them all - plenty of food for thought.

Hildred said...

There, Pat - you see how you and your blog, and your opinions, have influenced others, and you should be happy and proud that this is so!! I know I don't comment, but I follow you every day......with much interest and enjoyment.

Debby said...

I read you every day and your pluck touches me. I was an avid follower of the news, national and world. Now I find that I need to unplug for a while myself. What breaks my heart is the awful plight of children who have no control over their situation but suffer anyway. I have to accept that I am just one small person in a very large world. I will never make a difference in the great scheme of things. But I can be kind. I can be generous. I can show love. It will not change the world, but it will change a small part of it. Perhaps my kindness will touch someone who will one day make a big difference. It sounds as if you do matter to a lot of people here. One other note: we are not the things we leave behind. We are the stories we leave behind. We are remembered in their retelling.

Joanne Noragon said...

Pat, they won't miss us when we're gone, nor while we're going, so ta hell with them and get on with life.

Anonymous said...

We love you and your blog so much
Wendy (Wales)

Devon said...

Hi Pat. I have enjoyed reading your blog for many years, although I rarely comment. I'm in my 50's, my only sibling passed several years ago and there is very little family left. My father, in his 80's now, has given me all the family photos and keepsakes. Most are poorly labeled and I was feeling overwhelmed with the task of preserving the family history.
It occurred to me that we are all just 2 or 3 generations from being entirely forgotten, which was rather a freeing thought. I think the important thing for me to remember is that it is how I live now that matters. I certainly don't want my children or any future grandchildren to struggle over where to store my 'treasures'.
Thank you for sharing tidbits of your day, it is always a pleasure to glimpse life across the pond.