Tuesday, 19 October 2021

Meeting New People

 Living alone means creating a whole new lifestyle for oneself.   Then becoming seriously disabled means recreating it and fitting what one is capable of doing into the possibilities available.   This is how my present lifestyle has evolved.    There is absolutely no point in waiting for things to improve at my age;  it is more a case of trying to stop them getting any worse.   And one thing which pulls me personally up short is to meet somebody who is much more disabled than I am and who is still making the best of their capabilities.   And so it was today.

A lady has moved in at the top of the road who appears to always  be in a wheelchair.  I discovered she has MS and has had it for twenty years.  She is often in her front garden bending down and weeding from her chair.   We had a lovely chat during which she hardly complained about her illness at all, talking instead about what she intends to do to the garden.   It happens to be a garden I know intimately as it is where the lady who used to take Tess (my Border Terrier) for walks lived and who died very suddenly.   We chatted about all the plants in pots that had sprouted and flowered over the summer and what pleasant surprises she had had.

We are both widowed, we both miss our husbands greatly but we are both realistic and know we just have to get on with things.   We parted as it began to rain again - she to go in before she got wet (she was in shirt sleeves) me to walk on to the post box (I had an anorak on) and then home, to chat to M, my neighbour, who came out for a chat when she saw me coming.

And so the day has passed.   I thought I had a friend coming for coffee this morning and got a move on when I got up (this is the day in the week when I don't have my carer) until I suddenly remembered it is next Tuesday she is coming!   This morning it absolutely poured with rain all morning - but as Derek rightly pointed out on yesterday's post - the weather is warmer outside than it is inside (rather like a sauna he suggested), but all that is set to change tomorrow Derek when our weather comes down from the Arctic.

Tomorrow I have my annual appointment at the Medical Centre with the phlebotomist to check things like blood pressure, weight, height (have I shrunk?) - for cardiovascular disease.   It is another of those things which makes time go so quickly - it seems no time at all since my last check.   I can't find my tape measure anywhere but as I can still easily get into last years trousers and fasten them and still fasten last years blouses my weight can't be that different.  And if she really needs to know my waist measurement hopefully she will have a tape.

Time will tell.   See you tomorrow.

 


19 comments:

Bonnie said...

How nice to meet your new neighbor. She sounds like a person that could become a good friend for you. It does seem like medical appointments take up a lot of our time as we get older, doesn't it! Many of us do lose height. I have lost 2 1/2 inches over the past years and I'm now under five feet! I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow!

Tasker Dunham said...

It was surprisingly warm today despite the rain.

Anonymous said...

You are two admirable ladies. I am presently reading a Christina Stead book 'Cotters' England', in which one lady, describing another says 'Old age is a high wall you can't climb, and she's coming to the foot of it." Perhaps there are many chronic illness that are the same, but there's always flowers to plant and tend at the base!...and lots of interesting people who refuse to see that wall as daunting. Keep up the good work Pat. Your posts are always enjoyable. - Pam.

Bovey Belle said...

We "re-met" an old acquaintance today. He is nursing his wife (cancer) and I think just leaving his 4 walls to come and chat and talk about the old times with my husband made his day. We gave him our new address and phone number and he phoned at teatime to speak to me and he was so pleased we had got in touch.

I take my hat off to the lady in the wheelchair -she isn't letting her life be too radically altered by her illness, though I take my hat off to her weeding from a sitting pose.

Keep on keeping on, is I think the mantra to remember.

Warm here too (make the most of it) - but very heavy rain when we drove down to Carmarthenshire to meet up with K's friend.

the veg artist said...

There's no pretending that having to adjust to a disability is easy, physically, mentally or financially, but it is certainly not the end, and in many cases, like mine, gives a gift of time which has let me do something I always wanted to do, but would not have been brave enough to step off the professional ladder for without a push.
Making the most of every day, as you do, is key.

Tom Stephenson said...

Things go on as normal. which I am always grateful for. What else can we do but carry on?

CharlotteP said...

Always good to make new friends...another face at the book club, perhaps?

Susan said...

Your new neighbor sounds like a good person to know and chat with. It appears she has made the decision to have a positive outlook. This will serve her well.

Joanne Noragon said...

It was surprisingly lovely today. I should have cut back some of the summer's plants.

angryparsnip said...

We are have some Fall weather. Chrisp cool mornings that smell of damp earth, and sagebrush. Lovely.

Cro Magnon said...

When I lived in London back in the 60's, no-one spoke to anyone. It was a very unsociable place. Here in Brighton almost everyone you meet in the street or park says hello. Fellow Dog walkers start chatting as if they were old friends. The atmosphere is wonderful.

Librarian said...

How nice for you to have met your new neighbour!
You are right, it is much better to have the realistic (and yet positive) approach towards life, age and health that you have, than to fret against what you can not really change. Like you often say, it is important to keep up that level of health and mobility you now have, and you are doing very well by going for walks when possible and generally taking good care of yourself by eating proper food and having your regular checkups etc.

dom said...

I read your posts Everyday and you bring so much joy and happiness to me. I live un France, am 71 and have retired. It is rather difficult to see us getting older but life brings us lovely and interesting people to meet through blogs. Thank you for your posts.

Heather said...

Your 'new' neighbour sounds like such a nice person. There is always someone worse off than ourselves, isn't there? That thought makes me pull myself together when days are difficult.
Woke up to heavy rain this morning but now - at 8.45 - it looks quite pleasant out there. Maybe I will not get soaked when I go out shopping. We shall see!

Granny Sue said...

Yes, reme.bering that others have burdens to carry makes our own not so heavy. What an admirable woman your new neighbor is.

Mary said...

So glad you have a new neighbor, and that you have things in common to chat about. She sounds like a great person and I hope you find time to share with one another.

Good luck with your checkup Pat. You are just wonderful to hold on to that positive attitude about the future, it's very important that we feel that way, especially with the difficulties life has thrown at us recently!
Hugs - Mary

CharlotteP said...

Have been thinking a lot about what you said about 'living alone' and 'creating a whole new lifestyle for yourself'...tricky, isn't it?!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks everyone. I find the key to finding that everyone says hello is to say it oneself - very few people fail to respond I find.

Debby said...

Your take on the hello is a sound philosophy.