Tuesday, 24 August 2021

Swearing

 Where do you stand on swearing?   I may have told you this tale before, it is not long since it happened.   I had a scam phone call about paying for my e mail.   As I pay each month by Direct Debit I couldn't see why, so after the call (when they said their 'supervisor' would call me at nine the next morning) I rang my supplier and they said it was a scam.

I told my carer (who is noted as my dear farmer woud have said) for calling a spade a shovel.   She insisted in staying until, dead on 9am, the scammer called,   My caller answered - here in total is what she said:

"Get off this f******phone!"

If you ever call this f******number again

I'll call the f******police!"

at which point she slammed the phone down.

When I told her how shocked I was at her language and said I had never, ever used that word in my life her reply was that I should start as these days it was the only word these scammers understood.

I was reminded when reading about swearing and I thought it an interesting subject.   I never ever heard my mother swear and the only words my father ever used, usually both at once, were 'damn and blast'.   I never ever swore.   If my mother heard anyone swear her comment was usually that they needed to wash their mouth out with soapy water.  If I had sworn - which I never did - I would have been told to go to my room until I could speak proper English.

Now it seems that everyone swears.   I did once remark to the farmer that I had never heard him  swear.   I said,

"Do you swear David?"     His reply spoke volumes for the kind of man he was.

"Not in front of ladies."

Do you have an attitude to swearing these days at a time when almost everyone, whatever sex, swears as part of their normal vocabulary?

47 comments:

Derek Faulkner said...

Can't say as swearing has ever bothered me, although I wouldn't swear in front of females unless they were swearing themselves.
Seems the French use the F... word more than we do these days.

Rachel Phillips said...

Nobody in my family swears in front of each other and I would be surprised if they did. No swearing ever took place at home. What they do in private I have no idea.

the veg artist said...

I do not swear, and I will not tolerate being sworn at either. This might make me very old fashioned, but it is the way I was brought up.

JayCee said...

I was taught from childhood that swearing is bad and so would never do so, although I admit to letting loose some choice words in extreme circumstances, but only when alone.

Angela said...

JayCee said exactly what I was going to! A pupil once swore whilst I was marking the register. I told her to stand outside the classroom door till I'd finished. Unfortunately the Head Teacher came along at just that moment, and said "I will deal with her". The following day the child's mother came to school to complain that "Miss sent my girl to the Head for swearing, its not fair, everybody swears these days" [1978] The head said he had NEVER heard me swear, and did not believe he ever would - and anyway HE had decided the punishment, so she should complain to the governors about him. She shut up and went home!

Granny Sue said...

Here in the US, the f word is as common as hello. I don't like it and never use it, but I've seen it on signs, on bumper stickers, and on t-shirts.

I have to admit I do swear sometimes. I was raised not to, of course, it being the 50's when women simply didn't swear, unless, as my mother used to say, they were "no better than they should be." Mom used the occasional damn but that was about it. My father used damn and hell at home, but apparently at work he swore like a sailor.

I guess being around my first husband ruined my upbringing and added a few salty words to my vocabulary--but not when out in public. And my sons are careful of their language around me, and caution their children not to swear in front of granny. Which I think is very sweet of them--esp since granny can rattle off a few words from time to time.

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

My Dad, who had grown up in a living space with his father behind a tavern that was my Grandpa's. Dad served in the United States Marine Corps, and worked as a construction supervisor and he never swore, unless you consider God darn it swearing. The workers on the construction jobs with him teased him and asked if he was a preacher.

He wouldn't stand for me to swear either, nor my friends when we were smart mouthed teenagers. One time my best friend was at the house and said a swear word, and Dad jokingly asked her if she wanted him to was wash her mouth out with soap. Many,many years later when she and I were in our 50's we stopped by to visit Dad, and she accidentally cussed in front of him. She apologized so fast. And we all had a good laugh about that. One time when I was a about 12 I asked him why he never swore. He said that there were always better words you can use or just don't say anything.

On the other hand, my Mom, who was the red-haired daughter of a Methodist minister, could lose her temper and really cuss people out. She never used the "F" word, but the whole range of other cuss words. My use of foul language falls somewhere in between, but telephone solicitors set me off. Mom would be proud of me. Dad, not so much.

EM Griffith said...

Most of the men in my family swore as part of their regular language. None of the women did, though. In fact, my grandmother and mother always said when people swear, it gives others the impression they're crass and uneducated. I suppose I'm used to both. My husband of 36 years has never been one to swear. ever. I do on (very) rare occasions when I'm really angry. I guess the women in my family had a powerful influence!

Tracy said...

My father rarely swore and if he did it would be "bloody", nothing stronger. My mother never used to swear, but has done since my father died. I swear occasionally, if something really goes wrong, but I have never sworn at other people, just at myself. I think a lot of people pepper their language with so many swear words that it ceases to mean anything, which rather defeats the object!

The bike shed said...

I wrote a humorous post on my little boy swearing that was picked up by The Times and has thousands of views - it was later published, with a little adaptation, in my first book. You can read it here. I hope it will make you laugh.
https://www.viewsfromthebikeshed.com/2009/10/f-word.html

Trudie said...

I worked in housing for the local council, I have called an interview to an end, when being sworn at by saying to them, that I didn't get paid enough to listen to their bad language and when they wanted to speak correctly to me to come back.
To a certain part of society, swearing is part of their everyday language and they just don't realise that they are being offensive.
On another point your carer was right, some scammers will not give up without being spoken to so abruptly - I usually ask them if they know that they are lower then the fleas on the rats in the sewers and put the phone down promptly.

Anne Brew said...

I gave up my landline as the only calls I was getting were scams.
Now if I see a number on my mobile I can check it on the Who Called Me? app and if it has a warning I block it permanently.
Phone calls should never scare or intimidate or make people feel vulnerable.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Such intereting replies. Seems it is generations later than you all who were beought up to think swearing was alright (I am an older generation than almost all of you) although acccording to The Times, like drinking and casual sex it seems to be dying out.

CharlotteP said...

No, no-one in my family swore. My Nan, when extremely stressed would occasionally say 'Good gardenstuff!' It took me years to work out what she actually meant! Like Tracy, I think if people swear as a matter of course, it ceases to have any power.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Bike shed. Didn't find it but spent a happy hour reading through your 2009 posts.

Derek Faulkner said...

The Times reckons that swearing, drinking and casual sex are dying out - thank gawd I enjoyed life as a teenager in the Swinging Sixties then, what a boring life people must be leading now then.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Do you know Derek I have just been on my gentle afternoon stroll. It is school holidays and quite a few teenagers were around - I kept meeting them or they kept passing me. I don't think there was a single one who wasn't head down looking at their phone. I think that is what they are doing now. I saw at least half a dozen different butterflies - don't expect they saw one.

Derek Faulkner said...

Yes, Smartphones seem to rule teenagers and indeed many peoples' lives now. Rarely do you see youngsters simply walking along looking at life around them anymore. Thank gawd that I've never felt the need to own and stare at one all day. Mind you, they are being superseded now by the latest "must-haves" - electric scooters, I've seen children as young as 7-8 going down main roads on them. One reason why I still swear I guess.

John "By Stargoose And Hanglands" said...

A couple of years ago I had regular scam phone calls which seemed to come from a call-centre in India, to judge by the accents on the other end of the line. I usually used to just hang up without answering. But one day I lost patience and said "Why the hell can't you stop bothering me and go and get a proper job?" At this the caller started crying and explained that she was only trying to buy food for her children. I felt awful.

Tasker Dunham said...

There was a report recently that the 'b' swear words of the sixties and seventies are now used less frequently, and the f word much much more, but there are generation differences.

Anonymous said...

People in my family rarely swear. I tend to flinch i when I hear bad language. Had a job interview for the office of a plumbing business. Throughout the entire interview the owner used bad words as a common way of speech. Apparently my reaction was noticeable. I called later to say thank you and ask to be taken off candidate list. They agreed and said I wouldn’t be a good fit.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Oh John how awful - maybe that is soething that happens often.

Ursula said...

I was brought up not to swear. Not that that stopped my father swearing under his breath. You know, hammer thumb. Excusable

What I believe some people (not least in blogland) don't seem to understand that, as currency, the more you swear the less impact it has.When, rarely, I say "fuck" (and I am not English so I am one removed anyway) I do mean it. Though I'd never say "fuck YOU". That's a bit too close up and personal.

On the whole I think people swear as a sort of pressure cooker release. Doesn't really matter. Though had to ask the Angel (my son) why guys call each other "c..t". Ok. Whatever. Apparently it's a term of affection. Unless it's fists.

You've got to laugh, Weave. And no one has the art of the invective down better than Italians. They use their hands and fingers. Words unnecessary.

U

Heather said...

I too was brought up not to swear and don't often. It's usually I am alone and cussing at some awkward appliance that wont do what I want it to. However, Facebook and the younger generations (teens to thirties) seem to swear with gay abandon. I suppose it might be just another fad which will die out in time.
I must say I quite liked your carer's way of dealing with scammers, though would never have the nerve to try it myself.

Ellen D. said...

Some words that we used to consider as "swears" when I was young seem to be okay these days. Like crap and piss and fart! When I was young, we were taught not to use those words. My kids swear more than I do but usually not in front of me. I may swear a bit (especially during the administration of the last president)! but usually only to myself!

Tom Stephenson said...

I f*****g hate it Weave.

The Feminine Energy said...

I swear like a sailor... and am proud of it. :-D ~Andrea xoxoxo

The Feminine Energy said...

PS~ Hey, Ellen, if you're not swearing during the administration of this bumbling president or his laughing sidekick, Vice-President Giggle, you're not a swearer at all. But I'd hang on to those swear words cos you're going to need them when we get our first terrorist attack... from a "dreamer" crossing the porous borders into our country. :-)

Anonymous said...

Usually I don't like expletives dropped in casual conversation, but have met and befriended some real salty characters where swearing is part of their wonderful and unique make up, and they are very funny people. I don't know how anyone can survive the enormous stresses of today's life without swearing...traffic, work impositions, idiotic people, and to top it off, caring for direct family with dementia -swearing being a necessary release valve away from the dementia sufferer, but the only path to maintaining sanity in the face of the cruel absence of it. It is a very challenging condition, and in a home care situation demands the patience of a saint.-Pam.

The Weaver of Grass said...

I love you Tom - just the answer I was expecting!
llen I suspet my son swears but never in my presence.

Thanks you dear, reliable blooggy friends - you keep me going.

Bonnie said...

I hardly ever swear as I was brought up to not use such words. On rare occasions if I am very upset about something I may let a swear word drop but not the "F" word as my Mother would roll over in her grave! What bothers me is the people that swear for the simple reason of swearing with no good reason. Many comedians do that and it has never seemed funny to me.

Anonymous said...

I think your carer is foul mouthed. There is absolutely no need to descend to the depths of the potty mouth brigade - all you need to do with a scam call is put the phone down without speaking.
Swearing and saying don't ring this number again doesn't work - the people themselves don't dial a number as they're computer generated.

I wonder if swearers realise what the F word actually means, also the C word, when I asked a swearer if he knew the meanings he hadn't a clue, they were just words to him.

I'm glad my carer is a lady who doesn't have a dirty mouth.

Susan said...

I find one person swearing angrily at another very offensive. I have never sworn at anyone. Today, it is common to overhear people swearing in general conversation. They are not speaking angrily but seem to swear for impact. Personally, I do not find this type of swearing in conversation attractive. It leaves a less than desirable impression. People seem not to care about the impression they are giving others.

Joanne Noragon said...

I swore a lot when I first had the head injury. Now it seems abnormal to curse.

Brenda said...

No swearing

Cro Magnon said...

I was taught to use the word 'bloody' at school, where it was used extensively. "Get your bloody hair cut", "Come to my study at six, and make sure you're on bloody time", etc. We thought nothing of it, and it's still the one 'swear word' I use.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Such interesting comments as usual but anon I must speak out in defence of my carer who is just the most wonderful woman in the world. I never cease to be thankful that I managed to find her. Without her caring I would unndoubtedly have to be in residential care.

Derek Faulkner said...

Gawd, reading through all these comments was like stumbling on an old bible class, what a perfect collection of well spoken people, who clearly live a far more sheltered life than I do.

thelma said...

Well in defence of your carer, I think the word f*** is a very robust word to use when you are angry and underlining what you want to say. I swear in my mind but never out loud, typical British compromise of course!

Margaret Butterworth said...

I have often thought how lucky you are with your carer. How did you manage to find one who could come every day just about? When my partner broke his leg last year, the hospital sent carers - different ones every day, arriving at different times (some very late for a shower) and some with foreign accents which he found difficult to understand. It was all very stressful for him (and for me, as I had to stay home to let the carer in). Is yours a private arrangement? John is now in residential aged care and I must say he is doing well at 96. His carers there consist of a lot of girls from Bhutan who really love old people and are so kind to him. They have more patience than me!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Margaret my carer is a private carer, I never took advantage of the nhs ones provided for so long as I had heard reports juat as you say. She lives about half a mile away and if she has a holiday then she finds another private carer for that time. I haven't got a single complaint. She has now been coming almost a year (I did have morning and evening at first but am now fine with just morning to get me going) and I now look upon her as a friend.
Thelma - too right.

Thank you for joining in.

Derek Faulkner said...

Unfortunately the experiences of both Margaret and Pat highlight the stark differences between NHS and private and if people can afford to pay private they will get far better treatment and in some cases live longer as a result.

Salty Pumpkin Studio said...

It is good that folks know you have an excellent support system to care for you, phone and blog wise. Scammers seem to show up in waves, and when one goes,there's another. A forceful don't call, I believe helps.

Cathy said...

Hi Pat, this made me smile. Brilliant use of the vernacular by your carer, she did you proud. I remember a very dear aunt and uncle, with auntie complaining to uncle about his swearing, particularly after he had been down the pub. I said "auntie, just tell him to stop bloody swearing!" . Fortunately she saw the funny side of it. 😀😀 Cheers Cathy

Meanqueen said...

I learnt all the swear words when I was a lorry driver, and used a lot of them myself. It was the only way to fit in with the rest of them. I rarely swear now. Might let rip when someone gets on my tits.

liparifam said...

Time and place for everything. I was brought up not to swear - my parents were very religious, so not even "hell" or "damn" - but that all went out the window somewhere in my adulthood, haha. In fact, Time magazine published a fascinating article explaining why swearing actually makes you feel better! I don't swear AT people, and I don't do it in front of people who I know would disapprove, or in business settings, of course, but I do swear (often) to vent my frustration...

The Imperfect Knitter said...

My darling late Grandfather used to say God Love Us , that was as bad as it got .