Monday, 29 March 2021

Desperately looking.

 The weathermen have been so gushing about what the weather is going to do for the next two or three days (before becoming winter again just in time for Easter) that I keep looking out of the window expecting miracles (we are above six hundred feet in the Yorkshire Dales and it is gusty and windy) but so far no sign of anything at all like that.   This morning it is so gusty that I watched out for the Post Lady coming and then asked her if she would take a letter to the postbox for me.   Both our postmen are so good and always oblige.    I just dare not cross the road with Priscilla until the wind dies down.  (The Post box is directly opposite my window).  The sky is a uniform grey and the patio is wet.   I am afraid it will be another day of exercises rather than walking unless there is a dramatic change.

John (Going Gently) speaks today of favourite places.   I think we all have places which are dear to the heart but I don't think that necessarily means we would wish to go back there.  In fact my view is that it is never a good idea to go back to where one has lived before and live there again.   Places change, people change.   I thought of this yesterday afternoon when my dear friend J, who still lives in the village where we both lived as children, rang for a chat as she often does, bless her heart.   We are both in our late eighties - in fact she is ninety in mid December.   Thank goodness we still both have our marbles intact so we can (and do) reminisce about 'the old days' but that is as far s it goes.   Other than that we have lived apart all of our lives and had totally different experiences.   This is why, when my first husband and I retired, we chose to come up to The Yorkshire Dales rather than return to Lincolnshire.

I have now lived up here for thirty three years and yet I still don't consider myself 'a local' and I am sure the locals feel like that about me too.   My lovely carer was born within five miles of here and has lived all of her fifty odd years in and around that radius.   If I mention anyone local she has either been in the same class at school with them (or their brother), has worked with them, her knowledge of the locals is huge.   I can still remember people I was at school with as I am sure you can - but not necessarily the history of the locals to here.   I really don't know which is better - to stay in one place all one's life or to travel around, to holiday on the local coast every year or to travel the world.   And does it really matter which one does?   Whichever life style we choose, all our knowledge and experience dies with us doesn't it?   This was brought home to me most strongly when both my first and second husbands died.

Another post ends dear bloggy friends.   A zoom with my friends who have recently moved to Grange over Sands this afternoon.  Before long, all being well Covid-wise, we might be able to meet again.   Wrap up well - you can always cast a clout if that elusive sun does actually finally come out.

It is now Tuesday morning.   This post has not appeared on my page but my son tells me it has appeared  on his - with comments.   I am adding this and trying again in the hopes that it appears.

24 comments:

Derek Faulkner said...

It's a beautiful, cloud-free and sunny day here on Sheppey Pat and very warm out of a chilly breeze. Should stay like this for the next few days.
Saw my first Swallow this morning and they're coming through quite fast at the moment, as are Wheatears.
I've lived on the Isle of Sheppey all of my 73 years and have never wished to live anywhere else, I'd hate to move to somewhere where I didn't know anybody.

John "By Stargoose And Hanglands" said...

The summer weather has crept up to Cambridgeshire this morning, I hope it will be with you soon, however briefly it may stay. I've lived in three different villages, all within a ten mile radius. I'm either rooted or stuck in the mud, depending on your interpretation!

Rachel Phillips said...

In country towns with just one secondary school for the catchment area everybody always knows everybody else, went to school with them, worked with them and played with them.

Laurie said...

Good advice to not go back , you cannot relive the past. I have to say it’s the same way here, people aren’t considered locals for a long time lol,, I think it’s because most of us in our small rural village have been here for 100 years lol, well our families, even longer. I hope you have a good day,, take care,

Debby said...

I, too, live in the area I grew up in. Most of my old friends and family have never lived anywhere else. There is nothing wrong with that in the face of it, but when you look beyond the jovial everyone-knows-everybody facade, you find some extremely entrenched thinking and a tendency to view everyone outside their bubble as dangerous, every new idea as a threat.

Jenny, Life Goes On said...

I am so happy to have come across your blog several weeks ago. I agree with you about revisiting places dear to our hearts. It would be too sad to return to places where I lived with my husband, the places would be changed and I am changed, best to keep the happy memories. Widowed four years now, I am happy living in our house on a Tennessee mountain top. Jenny

The bike shed said...

I have favourite places - returning places I call them; about six or so in all, and all of them very specific. I wrote about this in an essay in my first book - it's called the white tower, and refers to the picture on the front page of my blog. I have been in Wales for thirty years now and in one sense (as I am not welsh) it will never be home - when I die I want my ashes scattered in the lee of the Cheviot hills - now that is home.

jinxxxygirl said...

I have been rather well traveled in my life Pat... ofcourse there are still places i'd love to go and see but that is rather unlikely to happen at this point. But one thing for certain i wouldn't trade anything for those experiences... I've been to Europe and Mexico and many of the US states .. east coast and west.. and i treasure it all.. I know people who have never left their home and i'am so thankful that was not me.. I have favorite places and they almost always involve the ocean.. Funny i will retire far from one.. Perhaps a trip will be needed..lol Hugs! deb

Sue in Suffolk said...

I'm not sure what it means to be someone who has lived within 35 miles of their place of birth all my life but in 11 - soon to be 12 - different houses!
I suppose I've just never needed to live anywhere except Suffolk.

EM Griffith said...

In my 59 years, I've lived in 10 of the United States, quite literally from coast to coast and back again. Mostly urban suburbs and small towns along the way. We've bought land for retirement in another state; it will (obviously) be my 11th. I grew up "on the move", and the longest I've lived in one place was 15 yrs. while our sons were growing up. It might be an American thing... here it's unusual to stay in one place for a lifetime. It happens, but it's rare. From a cousin living in Alaska to family members in Florida, Wisconsin to Arkansas and California, we're scattered far and wide.

Anne Brew said...

There were four of us children growing up in Ireland and like a lot of Irish families, two emigrated and two stayed put.
The two of us who left home had to forge new lives and make new friends but the two who stayed at home had to bear the brunt of caring for our elderly parents.

Librarian said...

I like going back to places where I have lived or gone to school, knowing full well I will find many things changed. For me, the interesting bit is comparing the "now" and "then", not trying to relive the past.
But as you say, we choose our lifestyles, and while some are most happy to stay in the same place all their lives, some others would feel too confined and need to move away in order to be happy.
Kind of your post lady to post the letter for you, but then you are a kind person and so you meet with kindness in your dealings with most people.
Should I tell you that we were having a superb day today, almost felt like early summer, with wall to wall sunshine and as warm as 20 Celsius?

Susan said...

A childhood in Suffolk, young womanhood in Norfolk, new mother in Texas, 30 yrs in Alberta, now retired in British Columbia. We live in a remote community so it is almost a day's travel before I get on a 'plane for England. By the time I get on the train at Liverpool Street I am exhausted and stressed. Then if I'm lucky I will hear a Suffolk accent and all the stress drops away.

Red said...

I roamed around for the first part of my life and the last 50 years I've lived in the same place...same house even. I think it depends on what kind of person we are rather than our experiences.

Joan (Devon) said...

I left my native Yorkshire when I got married and lived in Northamptonshire for 20 years, moved to Devon for 17 years, in Wales for 13 years and now back in Devon. I am proud to come from Yorkshire, but don't think I could go back there to live. Devon is home to me now. I have also travelled abroad to many countries and I wouldn't mind going back to Texas, USA.

Wall to wall sunshine here today, not that it makes any difference to me.

Heather said...

I grew up in lovely leafy Buckinghamshire in an area which was once known for boots, beer and baptists! I left when I married and went back some years later to find it sad and run down. Luckily I returned again later when it had been given some TLC and was looking lovely.
Not a bad day here but a chilly wind. My woollies are being kept handy for Easter even if I don't need them for a couple of days.

Bonnie said...

We are having a terribly windy day here too Pat. Although the sun is out the sound of the constant wind is loud and it is blowing so hard that no work can be done outside.

When I was growing up we moved every two or three years due to my Father's work. I always hated it because I was never able to have any lifelong friends. However, when I was in my 20s and ready to start a family I planted some deep roots and have been here 45 years now and I don't plan to move!

CharlotteP said...

It's difficult to genuinely belong in a small country village. My mother-in-law moved from Birmingham with her parents at the age of 3 in 1920 to Far Forest, and though she lived there for over 60 years, though people were perfectly friendly, she always felt an incomer. My husband, who was born there was greeted as one of their own, years after moving away in his 30's. Maybe that's not so true these days, as locals cannot afford to buy houses in lots of villages...

Lynn Marie said...

I'm envious of people like your carer. I've lived most of my life in just a few small towns where most people have those roots without feeling that deep connection myself. Yet I'm very fond of all those few places and am considering moving back to the one where I spent my teen age years. It's beautiful, off the beaten path, and I'm sure no one would recognize my face in the grocery store any more. But my brother visited a few months ago and the small motel owner who checked him in recognized our unusual (for that area) last name and turned out to be a school mate of mine from fifth grade (10 years old) through high school. What I didn't expect is that makes me feel very queasy indeed. Would I have to somehow overcome the perceptions people had of me when I was 16, when they've no knowledge of the person I've become since? I did some really dumb things when I was 16! But in some ways that 16-year-old is also fundamental to who I am now.

Susan said...

Very cold and windy here too. The sunshine and beautiful blue sky is wonderful. That said, the wind has the 50 ft. tall pines swaying and weak limbs are falling to the ground. Nature is pruning our trees. I have always found living in different areas (Countries and states in the US) fascinating. There are always alliances to navigate being the newcomer.

Joanne Noragon said...

I've found not going back is best.
I hope spring comes for all of us.

Cro Magnon said...

We have a metal letter box at the end of the 'drive', where we put a red clothes peg on the key if there is post to go. Our lovely postie (Marie-Ange) then makes sure it gets taken. It's a great system for us backwoods folk.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Now I have finally got my post up in the right place it has been so intresting to read your views - we seem firmly divided between those who have stayed in one place and those who have moved around. Each to his own - all that matters is that we live our lives to the full. We only have one life - we need to enjoy it to the best of our ability and circumstancess.
Thanks for giving me a good read so early in the morning.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Hope your wind dies down soon. It's very windy here in Edinburgh and has been for days, though at least it's nicely mild.