I am never sorry to say Goodbye to January and Hello to February which is as much as three days shorter than some months. I tell myself that four weeks tomorrow it will be March. Yes, I know, it is bad to wish one's life away but here in the UK it has not been a pleasant Winter. After breaking my hip on October 23rd I have not been able to walk outside until the last week or so and then only on some days. My leg muscles need strengthening and although I do my hospital exercises each day it is not the same as walking - and the paths are frosty again today so I doubt a walk will be possible.
I am toying with the idea of giving up my car. I hate the idea of giving up my independence but there are several factors to consider. First of all, last year when I had my Eye Test my Optician (who knows my eyes well) told me he doubted whether my eyes would be good enough for driving in a year's time. Well, an appointment for that eye test arrived in the post this week. Also my mobility is now such that if I drive somewhere there is the question of how am I going to move around when I get out of the car? For the year prior to my hip-breakage the only place I went regularly in the car was to my Hairdressers each week. When I think of the Insurance I now pay each year (over six hundred pounds as my son is also on my Policy) it does beg the question 'wouldn't it be cheaper to have a taxi each time?' It would be a huge milestone in my life to stop driving but the time will come and it may well be now. My little car has only done six thousand miles in its three and a half years and has been regularly serviced - and what is more I have someone interested in buying it. A painful decision.
Last evening I indulged in an hour of Michael Palin in the Himalayas --- what a wonderful programme - up in the mountains on his way to the Khyber Pass. How lucky we are that during Lockdown we have such things. I think of my parents - in the days before television - what would they have been doing? Well, they were both great readers, they listened to what they called 'the wireless' a great deal (Henry Hall, Itma, Tommy Handley, ) and they played Cribbage every night of their lives. And, of course, what you never have you never miss. My father would have missed his Crown Green Bowling over the Summer (as would my mother as she always went with him - the ladies made tea half way through the evening- ) but there was always plenty to do in the garden.
The clock tells me it is lunch time. Yesterday I made soup and there is enough for today and my Carer has brought me a lunch of a Bacon Chop with new potatoes, green beans and cauliflower cheese. I have never had a Bacon Chop before so I have a new experience to come.
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35 comments:
Enjoy your bacon chop, a thick slice of bacon by the sounds of it.
I remember when my father relinquished his driving licence. His whole life had been based around cars since he was a teenager. He never passed a test - he wasn't required to in the 1920s. It was hard for him, but the day after he gave it up he was registered as blind, so it had to be. Like you say, you can still get out with taxis and save money Weave.
Gave up my car in November last year, it did seem strange with nothing on the rive, first time in over 50 years. But being in lock-down and not using it except for medical appointments it seemed painless watching it depreciate by the hour and not being used. Together with less mobility and deteriorating eyesight it seemed the best solution. Seemed like a big wrench at the time, but with continuing lock-down I haven't really missed it.
Many years ago I remember my Mom giving up her car. My precious godmother just gave up driving too, a year or so ago, and I cried with her on the telephone. I think it's a hard decision for everyone... and most assuredly my turn is coming too, quicker than I'd like to think about. My prayers will be with you, for acceptance of this new "season" in your life. ~Andrea xoxo
That bacon chop sounds tasty. It is snowing again down here, only fine stuff but the sky has that all over grey look so we might get more.
It is good that someone is interested in your car should the optician advice against your driving in future. I can understand your reluctance to let it go, but no doubt practicalities will help you make the right decision.
Keep warm and safe.
I know friends who had to hide the car keys to stop parents driving. Good that you are sensible in making your own decision. My mother stopped when her eyesight deteriorated.
When you put on top of the insurance, the service costs and the fuel, it does seem a rather a lot of money for the little that you use it and of course there is the worry of your eyesight - perhaps you are reaching the right decision.
I hate February, the sooner we get to March the better, although that doesn't guarantee better weather, the Beast from the East occurred in 2018 at the end of February/first week in March. But, the willow trees are now starting to see some catkins beginning to emerge from their buds.
I too have got the same dilemma. My car is 15 years old and I cannot afford to change it so do I give it up? Tomorrow I go to hospital to see about having cataracts removed. Another big decision do I have them done? I really miss playing cribbage. I used to play with friends but they have both passed away and no-one seems to play any more.
I have been through this decision with all my elderly relatives in succession and it is not and easy one but once the car is given up new ways of coping without have presented themselves and the decision to let go was never a regret for them. Eventually it will be my turn to make the decision but before that day comes I will put a few things in place to ease the transition. I know you will make a very considered decision - good luck.
You are a sensible woman, Pat, as you think of all of these decisions in a practical way. You will decide what is best for you when the time is right.
I liked reading about your parents - they sound like a loving couple who enjoyed spending time together!
I read today that there are 48 days until the first day of Spring. That doesn't sound too bad...time does fly by these days.
Enjoy your day!
Giving up ones car is a decision we all as we get older have to make but using taxis seems a good idea, and you don't have to worry about flat tyres or flat batteries.
Having cataracts removed greatly helped improve my life, I recommend it, it was a painless procedure
Your post reminds me of two fairly recent episodes related to cars.
A young neighbor of mine was involved in some sort of accident, and had to undergo surgery on one of his legs. I was used to see him only get on/get off the car, never ever walking , not even to the nearest shop. Suddenly,this year, after the surgery, he started walking (with a limp, but walking).Maybe, doctor's orders. So the question is does one have to almost lose one's leg to start using it?
Another young neighbor, female, said to me one day, Are you going all this way to the supermarket on foot?! What a waste of time! Why?said I, What are you doing during this time? Let me guess: cooking and eating (She"s obese).. Am I right? No, she said, I'm walking the dog. Well, she's not. I meet her skinny husband with their puppy, but I kept silent about it. Hopefully, she'll understand that walking could do her good.
Darling Pat,
One of the best decisions we ever made was to give up on motor car ownership. It is now more than ten years that we have been car free and carefree. There is always so much expense in car ownership and, when one has to, there are always alternatives.
Of course, living in the countryside without one's own transport can be difficult as public transport of all kinds has been reduced to mere shadows of their former selves. However, for city dwellers, life without a motor car is so much easier and less expensive.
So, plan for new adventures without your car. You will not look back!!
Thank you Jane and Lance. Looked to answer you on your post but what a long time sinve you posted!
I love the way you weigh decisions so sensibly Pat - having those wonderful parents I'm sure is the outcome of your way of thinking and, once you have made the right decision for you, you can feel happy with it.
We have two cars and will most likely downsize to one sooner rather than later, getting rid of my older one as it's larger and doesn't have all the modern safety bells and whistles. It's now just a nuisance moving them around in the driveway - have to park one behind the other - to make sure they get their turn for a little 'exercise' on the road these strange days. Once we can travel again we'll do as usual when taking a road trip weekend away - rent a car which is so inexpensive here, and not put mileage and wear on our own vehicle. Also, poor eyesight, slower reactions in emergency situations, expense of upkeep (just spent almost a thousand dollars on four new tires for my car!), insurance etc., all a huge expenditure we would like to cut back on.
Glad to know you are doing much better.
Take care and stay well dear Pat.
Mary -
OMG - how fabulous to see the above comment from Jane & Lance - we miss them so much and I often return to their long ago blog and am sad that they don't post anymore.
You may recall that Bob and I visited with them twice when they lived in Budapest. . . . .and we had such awesome times with them.
Darling JANE & LANCE, if you come back here to Pat's blog, please, please know that Bob and I are always thinking of you and hoping so much you are keeping well during these trying times.
Hugs and love - Mary
They're back on their blog!!!!
It's made my day - life has some bright moments still, thankfully.
Mary -
Snowy, messy, rainy, sleety here in the West Virginia mountains. Not fit for man nor beast. So it will be another inside day here. I am amazed that you were able to drive so long. That's quite a feat.
Darling Pat,
Just returned to Blogland.
Good to see you keeping safe.
Rain , rain , rain here all day and now sea mist is drifting in . Bacon chop sounds nice and oh boy.... I love Cauliflower cheese ! Lucky you ! love Debbie :) x
Funny that thee is always something that takes the place of what we give up. We have to be forward looking. I gave up cycling and have increased my walking in a major way. And walking is better for me.
Bacon chop. Prior to moving to New Zealand in 1965 I remember bacon chops from Sainsbury's. They were delicious and I have not seen them since. I hope you enjoyed it.
Big decision to give up car. I have used two tanks of gas in the year since I started isolating-last March...however since am moving to Florida will need my car...31st move and eager to be around the little boys but will miss the teen grands here...I order groceries and pick up...and other than that, have many places I need to go when I can...take care...be careful...
I admire the practical way you approach your decisions. I can tell you that my husband's father absolutely refused to give up his vehicle. My husband reported him as being unsafe behind the wheel. He was tested and the state agreed. They sent him a letter. We thought the problem was solved. We had no idea he simply continued to drive until he wrecked his car. He nearly died. He was not able to walk and remained in a nursing home for the remaining three years of his life. If only he had been as practical as you, he'd be here still.
You are such a wise lady that I have no doubt you will make the difficult but proper decision when it is time to stop driving. If you are given such advice from your eye doctor or any other doctors then it will be an easier decision to make based on their recommendations. These days there are often many other available choices for transportation and when you look at the savings you would make in giving up your car the cost for such transportation could even be less. I hope you soon have some better weather for going outside, even if only for a bit.
Thanks folks. Still turning over the driving decision in my mind.
I enjoyed the bacon chop - I have never had one before.
What was the chop like Pat? I'm imagining ham? Or just a thick pork chop? We don't get them over here. My dear aunt drove 'til the end' but had a very set route, involving left hand turns, or traffic lights, and when she wanted to go further afield she'd ring and ask was I going to ...? to which my reply was "Yes. What day suits you?" I had pointed out to her that three of four return taxi trips a week would be cheaper than running the car, but I'd not made progress! You will make the decision you are help with - will John's accident yesterday figure in your weighing of the evidence!
I bid January farewell with a happy heart, too. I really don't like winter.
I think if I was living in town, I would be quite happy to get rid of my car, but out in the Styx it's essential. Mostly I just look at it sitting outside, alone unused and unloved.
As I have never taken a driving test myself and never owned a car, I just don't know life any other way; if I need a driver, I can either ask my sister or (on a weekend) my partner, and of course taxi drivers are always happy to help - it is their livelihood, after all.
My Dad has given up driving, after several scary situations and an earnest discussion with us (Mum, sister, and I). He, too, feared the day when he'd give up his independence. But him driving became way too risky for himself and for others. It was the wise thing to do, and now he does not miss it anymore - he does not need to go anywhere at the moment anyway, what with the lockdown in place, and all my parents' groceries being delivered.
Perhaps you could do what a friend of mine did when forced to give up driving: he worked out exactly what the car cost him each week and then felt OK about spending an equivalent amount on taxis.
John - I have done just that that i shall be much better off!
Virginia the chop was very good - it was I suppose just a piece of bacon the butcher would usually slice for bacon rashers but instead cut into thicker slices for chops.
Thanks for all your advice on the driving.
A big decision, giving up driving. With all the transportation options (especially Uber) driving is not essential. With Uber, you can be chauffeured wherever you like. I've used it a few times and it works well. I look forward to February and moving closer to Spring. That said, a Northeaster is due here by noon. Snowfall will be 12-14 inches over 2 days with high winds. The winter white scenery will be beautiful throughout the forest floor and tall trees.
Did your parents ever talk about the 1918 flu? I am curious as to out how people coped then. My parents were children but they never mentioned it. I have wondered if the Depression. and WWII didn't push the memory of that other big calamity out of their minds.
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