Thursday, 22 June 2017

Silaging.

Silaging has been going on all around me today.   The grass was cut early in the week on our land (by the two farmers who are buying it) and left to dry.  Despite the fact that heavy rain and storms threatened and happened all around us, somehow we were lucky and they all missed us.   Today there is a strong breeze and (this afternoon) sunshine and now, at tea time, all the grass has been baled and wrapped and the weather can do its worst.

I had a busy morning.  Solicitor early, followed by shopping for food, then the Physiotherapist.   After lunch it was my usual hairdressing appointment and, by the time I got home I was very tired.   Sitting in the chair to read The Times I fell asleep
and slept for two hours (this is exactly what the Physio says I must do - sleep when I feel tired).

Poor Tess had a short walk early this morning and that was all, so I decided it was time to take her.  As the fields were short grass and so easy to walk on we walked down to where we had scattered the Farmer's ashes.   He had been silaged and I think he would have liked that - it made him part of his farm.   I could no longer see where we had buried him but knew more or less the spot.

It was peaceful, the wild roses were out on the hedge, I could hear the sound of the beck running by and I stood a minute and chatted quietly to him.
As I stood there the most beautiful Red Admiral butterfly landed on the grass at my feet and stayed there for a minute or two.   It was quiet and the sun was shining.   Tess sat by my side.

I took it as a sign that all was well.   I am not a believer in God, or the after life - and you are quite entitled to think it silly of me, but I can't tell you the comfort that moment gave to me in the week that held his birthday.



 

30 comments:

Derek Faulkner said...

Seems that all is well with you and you appear at peace with the world, which is nice to hear. Glad that Tess got the walk that she possibly needed. To my absolute disgust the weather here has finally broke and we have have had a lot of cloud and strong gusty winds all afternoon. Gone is the hot sunshine and blue skies that I have so enjoyed but no doubt some people are happy at that.

Rachel said...

I understand that completely Weave.x

Heather said...

I am so pleased that you found comfort in the appearance of that butterfly, and that you sleep when you feel the need. I haven't needed to sleep so often during the day recently in spite of taking tablets for the dizziness which are part of my hayfever remedies and 'may cause drowsiness'.
I scattered my husband's ashes on our lawn which was his pride and joy.

Bovey Belle said...

Tricia sends me white feathers regularly.

There is a sense of full circle with the crop from the field where the farmer rests. He would be pleased with that I think, still being "part of it". I would also have taken the butterfly as a sign.

I am glad you were able to rest and get some sleep - your body is telling you what it needs right now and we have had SUCH hot weather it is difficult to sleep well at night.

Frugal in Essex Tania said...

I sometimes think about my parents when a fluffy feather floats down next to me. A brown for dad and white for mum. Its great that you found comfort in that.

Gail, northern California said...

Just as traumatic as any physical wound....your body is trying to heal itself and needs you to rest...whenever you can.
The best is when they come to us in our dreams, but a butterfly will do just fine.

Jules said...

It's never silly. It sounds quite a beautiful moment to me. X

Hildred said...

Your post left me in tears, Pat. I think of you often, and in my memory are those first days and months of loss, when any sign is a blessing.

I have been reading Dr. Robert Lanza's book on Biocentrism. (He is an eminent scientist and a stem cell pioneer). One of the comments on the back cover page says "Lanza and Berman's latest statement of their theory of 'biocentrism' changes the way we think about age-old religious questions such as the origin of the universe and human immortality" It gave me pause to think about what science is saying about human consciousness and its survival after death.....

Take care!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Hildred - I shall try and get hold of that book.
Thanks everyone for understanding.

angryparsnip said...

I had tears in my eyes when I finished your post today.
So happy that The Farmer is still part of the land he loved.
When my baby daughter died a few months after her birth, we had her cremated and sprinkled her ashes in the ocean.
She was unable to move or see in her short life so I thought how lovely to feel free in the ocean.

cheers, parsnip and thehamish

crafty cat corner said...

I do not think you silly to not believe in god or the afterlife. I am along the same lines. In fact we are not even having a funeral as such, just a direct one with no frills whatsoever. The kids are all in agreement and I see no reason to give them more grief than is necessary.
The butterfly was a sign I'm sure, I have heard of this so many times that it cannot be a coincidence.
As for sleeping, we sleep at all times of the day whenever we feel tired, sometimes just for 15 mins, sometimes longer, it suits us and doesn't seem to affect the nights sleep.
I love the thought of your farmer being in the field where he spent most of his time, just beautiful.Briony
x

justjill said...

Very moved by all that you have written. I hope you continue to feel the moment, such as that butterfly landing. We all connect and that connection is never broken.

Simon Douglas Thompson said...

Take comfort from all you can! I would.

Mac n' Janet said...

I think that's beautiful. I don't know what comes next or if anything does. But I do know there are times I feel close to one I've loved and lost.

Iris said...

Very beautiful and special!

Tom Stephenson said...

Bless you Weave, God or no God. X.

jinxxxygirl said...

Well i do not think you silly Weaver... I do not believe in God either nor an afterlife...although i do believe there is a 'higher power' out there but i tend to think along the lines of Mother Nature... the earth , the trees....etc.. i draw strength from them.... and a butterfly.. definitely a sign..... Sometimes its just so nice to be still for a moment... to breathe... to walk.....to nap......to... whatever you need..... Hugs to you Pat... I hope you'll pass on to me your new address when the time comes..... deb

littlemancat said...

You describe so beautifully the moment of peace upon sighting the butterfly, "in the week that held his birthday." Lovely sentiments told so well. I hope that you continue to have peace of mind,of spirit.
Mary

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I find peace in nature and not religion so I totally understand what you felt.

Alphie Soup said...

I'm a great believer in sleeping if you are very tired - regardless of the time of day.
How lovely of The Farmer to send a red admiral butterfly as his messenger.

Alphie

galant said...

Yes, sleep when you feel tired, I do this now (what's the point of trying to keep awake when your body is telling you otherwise?)

How lovely you saw that Red Admiral. Not sure whether this was The Farmer's "messenger" but oh, how lovely anyway. Like you, I'm a non-believer, and believe there is no after-life, but such a beautiful sight is very comforting.
Margaret P
www.margaretpowling.com

Coppa's girl said...

I agree with your sentiments entirely Weaver.
Having lost my husband just a week ago today, and having no family whatsoever, I feel very much adrift, so something as beautiful, and as simple, as that Red Admiral butterfly would make me feel that he hadn't completely deserted me. Like yourself, I have some wonderful friends who are helping me through these unhappy days.

Rachel said...

Such sad news from you Coppa. I am sorry and send you my sincere condolences.

Linda Metcalf said...

Wonderful...peaceful. And all is well.

Countryside Tales said...

A lovely moment. Nature is so special. X

Minigranny said...

Lovely to see your butterfly. Take care. Sheila x

thelma said...

Butterflies lift the heart like a piece of favourite music, they don't always cause chaos when they flutter their wings ;)

The Weaver of Grass said...

I am sure I speak for us all when I say our thoughts go out to Coppa's girl - I wish I could get onto her site to say more - but we are all thinking of you

Thanks to all of you for your comments.

Librarian said...

The sad news from Coppa's girl almost overshadow how touching I found your post, Pat. I don't know Coppa's girl, but I have seen her comments on yours and other blogs and therefore it feels a bit as if I "knew" her from sight, like you know some people in your town or village without really talking to them.
As you do not have activated the function of replying directly to a comment, I can only say here how sorry I am to hear of her husband's so very recent death.

And still, your post is very touching and you describe the scene so well, it feels as if we've been there, too.

JoAnn ( Scene Through My Eyes) said...

Such a sweet sign from your loved one - the peace gets us through the days.