Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Things I wish I had done.

Dick Jones (Patteran on my side bar) has a lovely, rather sad poem on today about the missed opportunities he has made and how they now have to be left to the next generation. I have thought along those lines a lot lately and his poem has prompted me to write about it. (alright - like John - Going Gently - I just have nothing to write about today.)

When one reaches a certain age (don't ask, but I have definitely reached it) there are some things in life that one knows are completely beyond the bounds of possibility. So I intend to list here all the things I can think of that I wish I had achieved in my life but which I have left far too late.

1. Visiting India. I have always wanted to go to India. My first husband would not go, although we went to many places in the far east. The farmer will not go as he likes his holidays 'sanitised'. But I had a two year gap between marriages, so to speak. I should have gone then, but I didn't (went to Marrakesh instead).

2. Going on a trek to Nepal. I should have done this whilst I was fit and healthy and able to walk long distances. Now I can only 'do' it through books like Colin Thubron's 'To a Mountain in Tibet'.

3. Trying harder to make a career in journalism. I left school eager to be a journalist. I ended up being a school teacher instead. I enjoyed my teaching years immensely but only now do I realise how much more I would have enjoyed writing for a living if I could have made it successful.

4. Learning to ride a horse. I am scared of horses but love them - a combination which I guess applies to many people. I wish I had had the opportunity when young to learn to ride so that I became comfortable with horses and could enjoy keeping a couple of Dales ponies now that I have the room.

5 Taking my musical education more seriously. I play often and enjoy it but I would have liked to go further, to play in a group, to perform, to improve.

Ah well - everyone has regrets in their lives and I suppose these are petty ones, in fact rather selfish ones. I have had two happy fulfilled marriages, I have one son of who I am very proud , three lovely grandchildren and one lovely step-grandchild. Life has been good to me and still is. Nevertheless, as I look back I can't help wishing I had taken action on these things before it was too late.

Is it only me who has such thoughts, or does everyone have these regrets?

****I have just realised that this is my 1020th post in just under three years - now that is something to celebrate - no regrets there!

15 comments:

Loren said...

Anyone seeing the end approach must have such thoughts. The INTP in me wants to explore everything I don't know, but, nearing, 70 I finally realize that there's never enough time to do everything that interests me.

Thankfully, I'm so busy trying to squeeze a few more adventures in that I don't have a lot of time to think about things I would have liked to do and haven't done.

That doesn't mean it wasn't painful coming to that conclusion and clearing away many of the things I'd "planned to do" "sometime."

Heather said...

I think we could all write a list of similar regrets Pat. I can't help thinking that you must have influenced far more young lives by being a teacher than you would have by being a journalist. I'm sure you were a good teacher and there aren't enough of those to go round, and you are following a sort of journalistic path by writing such interesting posts for your blog.

John Gray said...

..joining the choir....
....learning to play a musical instrument.....
........steaming into new york harbour on the queen mary....

Saying sorry to an ex for some silly behaviour......
not"coming out" earlier

we all have regrets
xxx

Eryl said...

I used to think I wish I'd worked harder at school, gone to university at the usual age, that kind of thing; but now I realise I am who I am because of all the experiences I've had, including starting adulthood as a checkout operator. I think I have done the things I've done in the order best suited to my temperament, and haven't done the things I haven't because I'm not yet ready to. So I don't regret anything. I am only 50, of course, so I still have time to go to India, etc., and thanks to this post I'll make sure I get to it before it's too late.

Penny said...

No real regrets, I started making textiles in my 50's, drawing in my 60's now filling my life in my 70's with those arts ( Not well but what I do is for me and I know my limitations). Never enough time left. Loved to travel more, still hoping for that.

Nora said...

I have lots of regrets as my timing in life seems to have been way off all the time. I'd like to do everything again and get the timing right this time.

ChrisJ said...

No regrets really. Just too many things I would like to have done but would never have the time to; or regrets that I didn't have a certain talent -- such as singing or being a pianist, which I never had the talent for in the first place. Did a lot things, went to a lot of places and met a lot of people I never dreamed I would, so that's a big plus!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Congrats on your 1020th post ! Wow!
And I think being a good teacher is the most important job of all !

Von said...

Congrats on the 1020, now there's an achievement.As an adoptee I have tried to live my life without regrets and am lucky enough to live in a 'can do' country where all are encouraged to achieve whatever their age.I would view all those things on your list as achievable even if in a slightly modified form.Go girl!!!

Cloudia said...

sounds like acceptance and wisdom - not regrets, wise friend.



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Pondside said...

No regrets, really. A moment of melancholy once in a while when I realise that there are a few things that TGD and I won't be doing since his illness - but then, there are still lots of things that we can do together and I think about them.

Rachel Fox said...

Yes, I've not really had the patience (or the bravery!) to be teacher so I think you can be more proud of that. I did do some journalism - it's only a rewarding career for a quite small minority of those who attempt it. A lot of the time you're speaking to people who really DON'T want to speak to you (maybe not completely unlike teaching...).
Music making must be in lots of people's regret lists... at least you made sure it's not in your son's!
x

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thank you for the replies and for the philosophical nature of your thinking about regrets!

elizabethm said...

Fascinating. I am so attuned to the idea that I am a person who does not regret that I am not sure I can give this idea the time it merits. I might have a go!

Share my Garden said...

I have a regret that you may consider odd. The first thing that my father noticed about my mother was the colour of her eyes, which were green. My father's were grey, as are mine. These colours have now gone from my family with the strength of my husband's colour brown.
I had 'green eyes' carved on my mother's gravestone beneath her name.