Sunday, 7 November 2010

Poetry Bus one day early.

This week's challenge is set by Jessica of Perfect Fourth (if you want to read the challenge, go to TFE and then click on the link - sorry, I can't do links). She suggests we write a poem which has some connection with bathing, or showering or basically anything wet.

Up here in the Dales, once the Autumn takes hold, we know all about "wet". Frankly, if you still have a house without a bathroom and you can stand a bit of a chilly 'bath', strip off and go outside for ten minutes on a damp day (take a bar of soap with you) and your problem is solved.

So here is my ticket for this week's bus:-


There is a softness
in the rain
that falls,
wraps around me;
too fine to see, yet somehow
wetter than a heavy shower.

There is a stillness
in the field
where a smudge of cattle
stand passively,
backs to the rain,
heads hung down.

There is no movement
in this wet world.
Few birds fly.
Those that do
flit from bush to bush
furtive and silent.

The trees gleam darkly,
their leaves hanging
dull and sodden;
their branches inky black.

In the hedgerow
festoons of cobwebs
catch the fine droplets,
cloaking the leaves in
drapes of silver.


Jinksy said...

The last verse is a gem indeed - diamond encrusted. cobweb-lace necklace...

Doohie said...

You've taken me there. I can feel it.

Heather said...

Beautiful Pat - simply beautiful. I can see it all.

izzy said...

I am very familiar with smudged cattle!
Nice work, Thanks!

Gigi Ann said...

You bring back memories as a youngster, I use to love to go play in the rain. Lovely poem, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Gigi Ann said...

I meant to tell you I have revised

Golden West said...

"Drapes of silver" - so lovely!

Peter Goulding said...

And do yourself and the farmer take showers al fresco?
There's really some beautiful imagery in here. A lovely piece.

The Solitary Walker said...

That naked cavorting in the rain - sound a bit DH Lawrence to me... But, why not?

Amy said...

Oh, I like the "smudge of cattle." Terrific imagery - really enjoyed it!

Rarelesserspotted said...

Very evocative

George said...

Quite wonderful, Pat, and wonderfully wet! I think you nailed it.

Unknown said...

Ah watercolour in words (no pun intended)Beautiful

Anonymous said...

A wonderful representation of a uniquely British perception of our weather! You evoke the pervasiveness of thin but insistent rain so well. And 'a smudge of cattle' and the sense of stillness provides the perfect picture of how it looks from the inside.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks for the comments - I do not mind a bit of criticism though - so if there is a word or phrase which jars I would be interested to know.

The Bug said...

Sorry - no criticism from me - I love it! It was so evocative that I'm wishing that I had a towel to dry my face. Is this mistiness good for your complexion? Seems like it would be.

Dave King said...

Beautifully atmospheric. Fine writing.

Delaine said...

Words to chill your bones,and draw you into a fireside nest away from the damp cold winds. Our day was so like that, the cold foggy rain draped its self around my world closing in my soul, I seek memories of sunny fields and the suns warmth caressing my skin,I pull my sweater up to my chin not warmth but a chill reminds me of the cold damp weather just outside my door.