How quickly that bus does come round; in fact I feel it is almost chasing its tail - must post before Monday so that we can begin thinking about next Monday's offering. Also - I do know Bill and his driving tends to be on the fast side (he will dispute this) so am jumping on early before the bus has moved on.
H'm - the brief was to find a sentence, cross out the second half and re-write it - then do away with the first half. I found lots of sentences but somehow they didn't click - until I found this one:-
"I would rather go by the slow road any day than take the motorway."
Here is my offering:-
For here the tall reeds rattle
when an East wind blows;
and the water rail stalks
furtively in the bottoms.
In the evenings
a stillness settles
and the warm, damp air
is full
of the scent of blossoms.
In the road
a dore beetle crosses,
its purple back glittering
in the sunshine.
And few cars come.
Sunday 30 May 2010
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23 comments:
I like that!
I study a lot of poetry with my children and I think it's about time they (whoever decides on the poems to be studied at GCSE) use poetry other than Heaney/Clarke/Duffy/Armitage etc.
It's beginning to get tedious and although it's a different group of children each year, so they've never studied the poems, for the teacher it is hard to get excited when you have taught it so many times!!
Some of your poetry is ideal!! Well I think so!
;-)
Poetry is where you find it, and you certainly have in this ideal stillness, far from traffic. I love it...
Slow roads are us!
x
Like it. Had a rather Chinese feel to it: it reminded me of those translations made by Ezra Pound and his ilk.
Me? Drive fast? You're right. I would dispute this. However, although I've never driven a bus apart from a minibus I would imagine I wouldn't hang around at the stops much.
This is beautiful.........Very in the present moment. I haven't heard of this poetry bus. Can you explain it? I'll google it now.
I love the way you weave nature into your poems, Pat. Lovely.
Your poem is perfect for this time of year Pat. I love it when 'the warm, damp air is full of the scent of blossoms'. I seem to have fallen off the bus lately - my muse has left me. I am content to leave it all to the experts like you.
That is just beautiful!! I too will have to see what the Poetry Bus is about.
Karena
Art by Karena
Oh, bravo Weaver. I'm blaming a pressured weekend and a virus for my inability to make heads or tails of this challenge, and here you are with a stunningly beautiful poem. Three scenes of sight, sound and scent and a stunner of a final line.
Husband likes the slow roads too.
This is poetry indeed - there is such a grounded sense of "centre". Allowing those who must to rush by.
Nice one Pat. A lesson to us all to slow down and smell the coffee
very nice! This reminded me of buddist things, deep philosphical ponderings of leassons of nature.. very beautiful :-)
Ah Sal - not sure what to think to be honest. There are some poets I taught in school who I never tired of teaching - the Great War poets, Shakespeare etc. But I do agree that there are others who have limited teaching life.
Read my comment about Bill's driving and then his comment about not hanging about at the bus stop - I rest my case.
Thanks for all your comments. I had years of rushing from A to Z but now, give me the B road life anytime.
really like this, very off the beaten track.
thanks for sharing
cfm
You made lovely scenes, Weaver, and in that final stanza, with its simple last line, you add emotion to the scenes. Funny, how one can experience emotion about a beetle.
Very atmospheric Weaver!
Oh weaver, a lovely poem you weave there. Much better than mine. Lovely vocab
This is lovely, Weaver! I love the sensual imagery used to describe the countryside. Interestingly, I chose to use "stalks" in my poem, too, but I don't know the water rail, so I shall have to look it up.
Agree that this is a lovely poem of peace and stillness, Weaver.
I can almost hear the peep frogs! A lovely sense of serenity!
This is a lovely, serene poem Weaver and I really enjoyed it. You have a real way with words and tempo. I agree with Sal about changing the poetry studied in schools.
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