TFE has set us a real challenge this week - in the week of St Valentine he wants us to put a poem about love on the bus. I find that very hard to do without being overly sentimental. I can't help thinking of poets like Christina Rosetti, who did it so well - and John Donne. Modern love poetry is not on my radar, so I was very pushed for a writing style. In the end I wrote two - one about flowers as a symbol of love and the other about how we met boys in the early fifties.
Valentine Gift.
Red roses,
flown ten thousand miles
to a glass vase.
Feed with rose food,
guaranteed for seven days,
scentless.
Hazel catkins,
cut from the hedgerow
brought in to flower
in the warmth of the room.
Soon heavy with pollen
they'll fill the house
with their scent.
Wednesday Nights.
On a Wednesday night in the village hall
Was the Vicar's Threepenny Hop,
where the lads all met to eye the girls
(t'was before the days of bop).
The St Bernard Waltz
and the Palais Glide -
we were doin' the Lambeth Walk.
And if they were lucky they got one of the girls
to go outside for a 'talk'.
Where are those days of innocence
when a 'talk' meant maybe a kiss?
When a close up dance in the last waltz
was the nearest thing to bliss.
Where the girls all sat at one end
in their pretty summer frocks -
and the lads all strutted their stuff at the other
in their psychedelic socks.
The second owes apologies for the rhythm to Christy Moore's McilHatton.
Have a nice day!
Monday 15 February 2010
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23 comments:
I love the sentiment in both of these, get right to the source of romance and what it really is.. great stuff :-)
good poetry
Regards
Dinesh Chandra
Both your poems are perfect Pat - they say it all - wonderful in their simplicity.
Loved Wednesday Nights - so innocent.
Weaver, I loved "Valentine Gift", with its simplicity opening up a variety of levels on which it can be read.
"Wednesday Nights" made me laugh out loud. Especially the psychedelic socks.
These are amazing! You are so gifted
Especially the last poem brought back all memories of the Fridays we had our meetings, where I met my husband now 47 years ago.
Well done!
Loved them - especially Wednesday Nights, as some memories surfaced of Monday nights down the Royal Pier!
Cute poems. I can relate to; "Wednesday Nights" things sure have changed since our day.
So true about the hothouse roses!
Love the 50s dating piece, too!
I enjoyed both these poems, particularly the sentiments in the first one.
Love them both. Dating and meeting partners was certainly different in our day! Cheers, Robin
Lovely poems, Pat, and it seems to me that you just need to put these into your journal! It will immediately be good enough to show!!! Look forward to following what you do.
Wonderful sentiments Weaver. How clever of you. I was going to get up early and gather some greenery from the garden but it was so frosty I didn't. Now I wish I had. I did make Jim a card though! xxx
the days after the night before
10 roses
for only 2.99
at Hofer
that's Aldi to you
you will choose
red or yellow
or pink or orange
but note
there is no blue
Seems to me you could do modern love poetry a treat. All the elements are there - involvement, detachment, economy, romance - in your two poems. And what's this I hear about your other blog? Why are you not publicising it?
Well, I love them both. You don't do modern? You do it well!
The phrase "summer frocks" creates such a vivid scene, Weaver. I can see the girls so clearly.
THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THE COMMENTS ON MY POEMS!
Two wonderful poems Weaver and I love the catkins.
psychedelic socks?? Were people allowed to wear such things in the blackout?
first one for me. ver y simple. totally effectove. and i too love the catkins
I enjoyed the contrast of the sterile roses vs the fruitful (pollen) catkins. The high-fallutin' vs the down-to-earth. The second was also beautifully phrased with a nice light touch on the rhyming.
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