I have only been writing poems since I got my laptop and began to blog. Some are stored in my computer, some in a notebook and some are filed in my Writers' Group folder. In other words they are all over the place.
So, my resolution was to buy a note book and put them all together. I bought one at The Knitting and Stitching Show in Harrogate last week and during this weekend I have written all the poems I can find into the notebook. It really has been an interesting exercise.
To begin with I didn't know I had written so many. When I wrote them out (I wanted them to be in my handwriting) I was astonished to find that some of them I liked very much, some were just alright and some I discarded as being not worthy of inclusion.
Now I want to involve one of my other hobbies and decorate the cover of the notebook. And here the difficulty has arisen. My textile work has been on the back burner for some months as I have concentrated on writing - for my blog, for Writers' Group and for my poetry. Suddenly even my Bernina sewing machine is almost a foreign country.
But one thing has struck me forcibly - and that is that I have to find my own voice. I am sure that this applies to any creative work. Reading through my poetry I am conscious that they are written in my voice. Yes, I have read RS Thomas, Edwin Morgan, Norman MacCaig - and all the other poets who's work I admire. But when all is said and done, it has to be my voice - for good or bad.
And the same thing goes for my textile work. I had developed a style and could carry out the work to my satisfaction and was ready to push forward. Now I find that voice has gone and I am having to begin again. Yes - I admire the work of Jan Beaney and Jean Littlejohn, of Ruth Draper, of Maggie Grey - I love their books and they are a mine of inspiration. But when I sit at the machine, or when I get out threads and materials, it is my voice that has to be heard - and somehow I have to find it again. It is not going to be easy, but then what would be the point of doing it if it were easy.
So here is the naked book for you to see. Sometime soon, when my textile laryngitis has recovered, I will show it to you with the cover decorated. Has anyone out there had this kind of difficulty in any of their creative work? I suppose it is similar to writers' block. But that's another story.