Friday, 14 November 2008

Words..............Just Words

He wrote I LOVE YOU in the sand
but the tide washed it away.

He fashioned I LOVE YOU from the
golden leaves of Autumn
but the wind blew his words away.

He carved I LOVE YOU on the bole
of an oak
but the woodsman sawed it away.

He looked into her eyes and said
But it was too late -
the sea and the wind and the woodsman
had done their work well
and the words vanished
in the thin air.


Janice Thomson said...

Wow! I love this Weaver. Very poignant feelings here. Great twist at the end.

Tess Kincaid said...

Lovely word painting.

Tess Kincaid said...

...and I love the word "woodsman".

Elizabeth said...

This sounds rather sad.
Do you know Edmund Spenser's Sonnet that begins
"I wrote her name upon the strand"?
Some of the same feelings of transience. Bt happy at the end.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Beautiful melancholy.

Gigi Ann said...

So sad.

Lucy Corrander said...

It's funny that parallel with Edmund Spencer because, despite their similarities, your poem and the other have very different atmospheres.

On the one hand, yours is less grand so one can identify with it more closely.

On the other, it is sadder, though maybe more realistic.

But I wish it had a happy ending.

Really like it.


Annie Wicking said...

I love you poem. It's so sad!

Do you write a lot of poetry

Best wishes, my dear friend


Eclipse said...

I really like this one, easy to relate to. Even if there is not happy ending.

The use of words is good, so is the imagery... I like it. Very well written.

MFH said...

Very evocative!

The URL below is to a lengthy post, but I'm surmisaling (I learned "surmisaling" from my Canadian wife) you'll catch the point that is counter to your poem.

I was once involved with a woman who broken-heartedly said, "It's sad when one person loves more than the other."

As an art dealer I dealt mostly in abstract and non-representational work which is often about an ineffable or enigmatic feeling. But I felt part of my responsibility was to help make work accessible. When I accepted work from an artist I tried to gain an understanding of their psyche in order to help buyers appreciate it. For some this was totally unnecessary as they "got it" -- in whatever way or manner it spoke to them. But for others my "explanation" gave them a toe-hold from which to leap.

I'm wondering if you've given any thought to adding a narrative that would provide some context...similar to what you did for the painting in this post about your trip to China?

Or does a poem, by its nature, require being kept open to surmisal?