Tuesday, 1 September 2020

Confidence

 One thing which has happened, certainly to me and also to a lot of my friends and colleagues, during lockdown which has now gone on for almost six months, is that as well as  being cut off from the world, we have also suffered mentally.   A case in point was yesterday when I ventured forth to the Garden Centre.  Braithwaite's is by far the most professional garden centre around and also one where one can get help and advice.  Bedale is around fifteen miles away and a road I know well, so I decided to go and consult Mr Braithwaite about what plants to buy for my patio project.   I did not enjoy the journey.   I was nervous in the car and felt as though I had never driven before.   I was so lacking in confidence that when I got home I thought about stopping driving - I know the day will come.


After thinking about the plants I decided that    two were wrong and needed changing so what did I do? There was no alternative to getting in the car and going back this morning.   Bear in mind I can only walk with sticks and then not at all well.   So I bit the bullet and set off apprehensively but I had not gone far before I realised that my nervousness of yesterday had disappeared and much of my confidence had been regained.   Lockdown has affected us all in so many ways and it will be a long time before we can be back to normal.


Now all my plants sit here waiting for the patio to be finished - hopefully it will not be long before they can go in.   I started out with seven conifers but now I have sent two back and in their place I have chosen a group of three different coloured grasses to be planted together as a group and an evergreen flowering Hebe.  I have also added a euonymous with a variegated leaf - the whole should giv e a much more cheerful effect.  Tomorrow is another day so onward and upward I say.


23 comments:

Salty Pumpkin Studio said...

Selecting the right plants for the space is like deocorating a Christmas tree, bulbs needing to be moved until the tree looks just right. I look forward to the finished patio photos, and the certain to be beautiful landscape you've designed.

Sue said...

Thanks for sharing that observation. I'm glad I'm not the only one to lose confidence with the most mundane, taken for granted activities (like driving.) Guess it's a skill we have to practice, like anything else. I remember that first drive after weeks of isolation at home. The fast traffic was frightening and my reflexes so jumpy. Now I'm getting out and about again in the car, and feeling more like my normal self behind the wheel. You can do it!

Bovey Belle said...

That sounds like a lovely combination of plants to go in. WELL DONE on braving the drive back again and discovering that - after all - you could still drive!! Having heard several times about people who lose their driving nerve, I have always been determined not to do that for as long as possible. I don't enjoy motorway driving, but do it all the same, and ditto driving at night - for years I didn't (didn't need to for starters) but going to Malvern we had to start in the middle of the night and drive into the dawn.

My main worry right now is having to use public toilets when out for the day . . .

Tom Stephenson said...

I'm glad you bit the bullet for a second time and went back out in the car. That's my Weave.

Jennyff said...

I’m sure we all have little blips as a result of lockdown, glad you soon overcame yours, good for you. I was a late convert to ornamental grasses, I thought some of them looked like dead grass. Now I really like them, year round interest which is what you need,

Sue in Suffolk said...

I'm glad you got back in the car for another go.
Hope your garden is soon sorted

John "By Stargoose And Hanglands" said...

You're not alone. Earlier this week I had to go to have an eye check-up and I was all of a dither till I actually arrived. I've been out and about quite a lot in the last few weeks - but not into town. It was a surprise to me that I felt like that. Your selection of plants sounds perfect.

Joan (Devon) said...

Well done on getting your confidence back. You know what they say about falling off a horse? Get straight back on. So I suppose it's the same really, not that you fell of course, but you know what I mean.

I haven't driven for over 13 years, so I expect my confidence will be nil. Sent my licence back a few years ago and there's only a few times I've regretted it.

Heather said...

I congratulate you Pat on overcoming your lack of confidence during the first trip to the Garden Centre. Sadly I lost my confidence about 15 years ago and the desire to drive again has never returned.
I think Covid has given us all a wobble or two during the past few months. We will just have to be patient and give ourselves time to readjust when it is all over.
Your choice of shrubs sounds very attractive and next spring your garden will surely look even more lovely.

justjill said...

I understand and you did really well. The other plus is you taking control of the plants and changing the order. I want to go into a shop and buy some things but I am scared.

Bonnie said...

I think confidence comes with doing. If I don't go out much, as in the past several months, I am much more unsure of myself when I finally do go out. I am the same with driving. I had not been driving much at all lately and now this past month I have been driving my husband and myself to medical appointments two or three times a week plus going out for other necessities. I feel much more comfortable driving with a little renewed practice and it sounds like that is what you have learned.

You are an amazing woman with all the things you do on a regular basis! The shrubs and plants you've gotten sound perfect! It will be fun to see how your garden progresses!

Simon Douglas Thompson said...

I have an engineer coming to fix my boiler, very nervous about that!

Rachel Phillips said...

Good that you went back out today Weave.

the veg artist said...

That has happened to me in the past when I've not driven for a long time. The only thing is to just do it. Glad you've now got plants you like - you'll be pleased once they're in.

Joanne Noragon said...

Good you got back on that horse the second day. Time hasn't come yet, and their are youngsters at the garden center to do all the lifting and carrying. I can see the new layout in my mind's eye. Good for you to perserver.

Kathy said...

Good for you!

angryparsnip said...

Good you went out again !
Can't wait to see the garden.

Librarian said...

Good of you to not shy away from taking that drive a second time, and you were well rewarded! Apart from boosting your confidence, wouldn't it have been possible to just ring the garden center to change your order? I suppose you wanted to see the other plants for yourself before ordering, it makes sense.

The Feminine Energy said...

Yes, that's one of the oddest things about this lockdown, isn't it... how strange it feels to go out again. I know exactly what you're talking about as I felt the same way. I still don't go very many places but it doesn't feel as odd now as it once did. Slow but steady....! Love, Andrea xoxo

thelma said...

See how brave you have become, I am almost turning into a hermit and rather enjoy the enforced lockdown. I am glad you chose a few different plants to the evergreens which can look plain in summer.

Sackerson said...

The government guidelines on who should shield excluded millions of people who, we were told, should avoid getting covid at all costs. Only the most gravely ill, basically, were included. This created a grey area in which elderly people and people with asthma, blood pressure, etc,, have had to make it up for themselves.

There is a fine line between "being reckless" and "losing one's confidence" and it's hard to know where to draw it. The current guidelines are not a lot of help. They say "you do not need to follow previous shielding advice". They go on to say "you can go outside as much as you like but you should still try to keep your overall social interactions low" but then say "you can visit businesses, such as supermarkets, pubs (?!) and shops" with social distancing. In other words, stay away from people unless you're spending money.

Of course, one has to work on staying mentally strong at a time like this and at maintaining a level of contentment. However, being nervous about social interactions that might kill you (and, when you spread it, other people) is not a mental health problem. It's normal, or should be.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thanks for all your comments - that has given my confidence such a big boost - I thank my lucky stars every day since I took up blogging - you all of you keep me going.

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