Being a widow

Or a widower for that matter
After many years of being a couple, thinking like a couple, preparing meals for two, washing for two - everything that married couples do together - and in one's spare time (not much of that on a farm) using it to do things that you enjoy together - in our case this was travelling the world, before my lack of mobility walking the country lanes, naming the wildflowers and the birds, looking for early mushrooms and blackberries, thinking almost as one.   Suddenly one is alone.

And it is not easy, as anyone who has gone through it will attest.   But you need to get one thing clearly  in your head immediately.   Your
partner is gone.   He/she will not return.
Then surely the next thing you need to get into your head is that you owe it to them to cope, to get on with life, to grin and bear it.   All the moping in the world will not bring them back, it will just make life harder.

 Sooner or later we are all in the same boat and there is little or no point in rocking it.  We need to
fill our days, go out with friends, find new hobbies.   If we are young enough and mobile enough (as I was when I lost my first husband) find some job helping others in  some capacity.
If you are old like me, and pretty immobile, then
concentrate on getting about - not sitting at home moping.

Of course I miss my dear old farmer every single day - but the world at large won't be and I have to live in that.   Come on girls - we must be strong and stick together.