Thursday, 24 November 2016

Rudeness and how do you deal with it?

One of the two supermarkets in our little town is going through a major refit.   To make matters worse, the builders who originally started the job have gone into administration.   At last new builders have started  - in the meantime the shop is half its usual size, the rest being shut off while the work is done.

Things are a bit chaotic in there but the staff are doing their best.   As the Post Office is located in the top corner I have to go in once a week, so I usually collect one or two things on my way out.

On Tuesday morning there was only one till open at the check-out and there was a queue of about a doaen people waiting.   Directly behind me in the queue was a quiet-looking middle aged gentleman with a small bottle of something in his hand.

The woman in  front of me had a loaded trolley.
Suddenly another cashier appeared at another till and immediately the chap behind me (with one item) nipped across to be served quickly.   The woman in front of me yelled, "Oi you, where do you think you're going?   Get back in the queue like everybody else."

He came back into his place and said quietly to me that he only had one item and was in rather a hurry.   She heard him and continued her tirade to everyone's embarrassment.

She arrived at the check-out at this point and the next check-out also became empty.   I said to him,
"Please do go in front of me - you only have one item."   He thanked me and scuttled off.

I shall be interested to hear your views on this.  That she was being extremely rude there is no doubt.   But should we have all ignored it?   Should he have done it in the first place?

34 comments:

Hard up Hester said...

I will always let people go ahead of me if I have a trolleyful so I would have had no problem the chap nipping ahead of me.

Derek Faulkner said...

The man did what I would of done, it made plain sense. As for the mouthy and clearly rude woman who shouted at him, she would of been told quite firmly what I thought of her outburst. Well done for doing what you did.

Cro Magnon said...

I see things like this quite often. We also have certain local 'ethnic groups' (I'm sorry to say this, but it's true) who love to join a queue from the side, and muscle in. We say nothing simply because it would be water of a Duck's back. They couldn't care less.

Simon Douglas Thompson said...

Whenenver a new till opens up it's whoever drifts across first gets to the front. Never seen anyone have a problem with this.

Heather said...

I doubt that the rude woman got her shopping paid for any quicker for her little rant, and you were there to set a good example and let the gentleman in a hurry get on his way.

A Heron's View said...

I always allow a person with a singlre item to step ahead of me it is after all a courteous thing to do.
As for the mouthy woman I would have told her to stop being childish.

jinxxxygirl said...

Lots of questions here Pat lol... Ofcourse the woman was being ridiculous.... especially to make such a scene out of it... Most people including myself i think would have told him to just go ahead...It may have been more courteous of him to ask the people in front of him if it was okay if he jumped ahead...that may have headed off any confrontation... And instead of just nipping over there the way he did i think i would have at least acknowledged the people in front of me to see if they minded...But yes that was very rude of her... Should anyone else have chimed in??? I think that may have just made matters worse... She obviously didn't mind getting in a row about it... We must pick and choose our battles... lol Hugs! deb

Terry and Linda said...

I always let people go ahead of me if they only have a few items. Always. Some people are just selfish and that is all there is to it!

Linda

Frances said...

Pat, at my neighborhood food shops we are quite used to long queues, but that doesn't mean that we don't see/hear rudeness from time to time. I'll always let someone with an item or two go ahead of me, and see others do the same. Firemen from the neighborhood fire stations also shop at one of these shops, leaving one of their team in the firetruck parked just outside. Sometimes, they get an alarm and have to abandon their shopping. When these firemen do get to the check out queue, they are always granted access to the top of the line!

I realize that having your shop under major reno has changed up lots of established routines for staff and shoppers. Perhaps it might have been a wise idea for the cashier who opened up the additional register had called out, "Does anyone have just a single item to purchase?" That might have provided a bit more order. Maybe not.

I'm sure everyone will be quite relieved when the renovation is complete. Could it possibly be before Christmas? xo

donna baker said...

Perhaps someone might of told her she was making a fool of herself. Very rude.

Librarian said...

Very rude indeed! You have done the same as I would have done, Pat. I rarely have a very full trolley - I have to carry everything I buy home, and that limits the amount of items I get with one single shopping trip. But still there are sometimes people who have even less than I do, and I nearly always let them go in front of me.

Gwil W said...

Bravo to you Pat!

In the news a long-serving Bavarian Santa Claus has been given the sack for speaking out against child marriages. Apparently they are becoming increasingly common in Germany. It's going rapidly downhill in all departments I'm sorry to say.

Gail, northern California said...

Maybe it's just our store but as a relief clerk opens a new line, he/she motions to the person at the head of the line, "You're next." regardless of how many items are in their cart.

In your situation, loud-mouth would have moved to the new line and been taken first, you would have moved to the head of the line---at which time you would have said, "Please, do go ahead of me." to the gentleman who was in a hurry.

No excuse for her lack of civility. They go through life ready to deck someone. Sad, isn't it?

angryparsnip said...

I may be wrong but all the times I have visited in the UK everyone seems to be standing in one line and when the next window or checker opens the next one goes. Very polite.
But today it seems like everyday manners are out the window. Maybe he should have asked if he go go first but here in America (for good or bad) when a checker opens up the next in line goes or the clerk will call over.
A few people will rush over but it is not as bad as what the lady did.
I think the lady in front was a jerk. loves hearing her own voice and messing about with everyone in general. I would have said something and have or told the man he could take my place.
As I get older I just get tired of rude and obnoxious people.

cheers, parsnip

Rachel said...

I'd have said "go on, let him go" to the woman.

Sue said...

I always let the person behind me go first if they have only a couple of items and I have a lot, it's just good manners.

I hate rudeness, and I'm afraid as I've gotten older if someone treats me with rudeness in any form I speak up and retaliate where necessary. It costs nothing to have respect for other people.

Coppa's girl said...

This woman was rude, and made an unnecessary fuss, but you always get one !
In the supermarkets I use, if there's a long queue and a new till opens, the checkout person normally points to someone, and calls them over, then it's up to anyone else to follow. If I have a loaded trolley, I let anyone with a couple of items in ahead of me, but do hate those who just push in front, and don't even ask.

Tom Stephenson said...

I think Rachel missed out a few expleteives in her comment.

Rachel said...

The understated would have been all that was needed in this example.

Fairtrader said...

In Sweden we refer to those people as "friends of good order". Order, however, strict and nonadmitting, will only create an uneasy feeling as the person who is compelled to take charge often has that kind of rudness in her voice, it's often a woman.
I think the woman in the store that day is one of those people with an enormous fear of being left out or overlooked. Probably the same kind that knows the answer to any possible question and even if not, they have to make their voice heard because being unheard is worse than anything. In the long run, they will go emptyhanded. We have lines for "less than five items", saves a lot of frustration.....anyway, it can't hurt to show some kindness, we all seem to agree on that. I like the way you enter these important discussions, Pat!!

Joanne Noragon said...

The only person out of line was the one ahead of you. Good of you to let him go ahead.

Sharon in Surrey said...

What a rude old hag. I would've ignored her if I had the one item or if behind, blocked her in!!! I hate that sort of thing & speak up. A guy with one item would be gone before she got herself out of line & got over to the new cashier, fer gosh sake. In Canada, we have EXPRESS lines for folks with just a couple of things. And I always push the one item people in front of me because they're gone before I get unloaded!!!

Margaret Butterworth said...

On the subject of supermarket queues, I have to admire the Aldi system. The checkouts are closely monitored, and there are constant announcements: "Opening register 3" or "Closing register 6" etc. Their long belts to the tills are a good idea, as is the way they make you pack up your own shopping after paying. German efficiency, or what? It's much better than self checkout systems which other supermarkets use, for they are known to encourage cheating, for which we all pay in rising prices.

thelma said...

Problem with intervening with rude people is that you are likely to get entangled with them in a verbal disputing match. I suspect it all boils down to 'good manners' and an inability to see someone else's point of view. It is up to the rest of the people in the queue to let the man through quietly, whilst glaring at the ignorant b.... ;)

VickiEY said...

They were both rude! The woman over-reacted but he shouldn't have pushed in. All he had to do was to say to her 'Do you mind if I go first, I've only one item...?' He'd have got what he wanted and she'd have been able to graciously allow him to go first, as when directly and politely approached, I find people are rarely rude.
First time I've commented but I do enjoy reading your blog! Vicki in East Yorkshire

VickiEY said...

They were both rude! The woman over-reacted but he shouldn't have pushed in. All he had to do was to say to her 'Do you mind if I go first, I've only one item...?' He'd have got what he wanted and she'd have been able to graciously allow him to go first, as when directly and politely approached, I find people are rarely rude.
First time I've commented but I do enjoy reading your blog! Vicki in East Yorkshire

Penhill said...


I think he should have said "Do you mind I have only one item ",but she was rude to make such a fuss and add to the general stress in the store.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Interesting comments and it does seem that we largely agree with one another. Thanks for your contribution.

Countryside Tales said...

Uncalled for, especially as he only had one item. I'd have done as you did. Unbelievable the way some people behave towards others.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

Speaking up to the rude lady probably would have made her go on with her rant longer. You, showing politeness was the better thing and definitely upstaged her nastiness.

Jacqui Fenner-Dixon said...

I believe if a another till opens up, it's ok to go to it, if you are at the back of a long queue. If that woman had told me to get back in the queue, I would have said no. If I am buying a lot of groceries, I will always let someone with a few items go in front of me. I sometimes ask, if I only have one or two items myself, and no one has ever said no.

Bea said...

As Gail in Northern California said, the checkers here usually direct the queue when a new check stand opens. There is then usually then no room for such rude behavior as exhibited by the 'oi' woman. It still happens from time to time that folk dart to a newly opened check stand in front of those who were waiting longer (not the example you presented) and no one says a word. With respect to your man with the one item, I would like to think that most of us would stick up for him. The problem seems to come from the unhinged (those who would bark like that in the first place) who think nothing of escalating the situation to fairly upsetting. I try to avoid that, if at all possible.

thousandflower said...

Good grief. I always let someone with only one or two items ahead of me if I have a big load. And I've had it done for me lots of times, too. I'd say the lady with the full cart was out of line.

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