Thursday, 14 July 2016


Great excitement over breakfast this morning - well great excitement for this little backwoods where nothing much happens out of the ordinary.

There we are, the farmer and I, eating our Weetabix, when suddenly he jumps up and says 'there's a herd of cows trotting past down the lane'.

And sure enough forty- odd cows were going down the lane at quite a gallop, udders swinging,  poo issuing forth from their rear ends with great gusto!

The farmer  dashed outside and quickly shut the farm gate so that they couldn't get into the yard.   Then he yelled at me to ring S (another local farmer).
After milking, his cows cross a couple of fields from his parlour, cross the lane and go into the pasture on the other side.   Looking out we could see that the first thirty or so cows had indeed gone where they should go, but then the rest had decided to have a little caper down the road.

  The farmer dashed round the back into next door's yard to stop them going round into there (imagine the mess) and meanwhile I rang and got hold of the farm.

Our neighbour's guard dog barked and stopped them in their tracks with the noise.   And at that moment a car came up the lane and the lot turned tail and legged it back to where they should be - obviously thinking it was safer to get back than to go on into unknown territory.

Later S and D, the farmer's wife and son, arrived with stiff brushes and big shovels to clean as much of the mess off the lane as they could.   By this time the farmer was mowing the front lawn, so they came into the garden to say thank-you.

There's always one cow - most likely the dominant one in the herd - who can lead the rest astray (a bit like humans, I suppose).

Anyway, we returned to rather mushy Weetabix, made a fresh cup of tea and resumed our morning paper reading - that's enough excitement for one day.


Gwil W said...

And where was Postman Pat?

If that'd've 'appened in't Lakes 'eed a bin rit ther'.

Barbara Womack said...

"forty- odd cows were going down the lane at quite a gallop, udders swinging, poo issuing forth from their rear ends with great gusto!"
Oh, the mental picture is priceless!
Years ago, we had an old cow who would open the gate and let herself out(along with any other barn inhabitants)If she was caught in the act, she would try to appear completely innocent and tiptoe backwards into the barn.
I do love a good cow story!

Rachel said...

As a child on a dairy farm this was my worst nightmare. Even reading it brings back some dreadful memories..

angryparsnip said...

What a picture and story you told. I can just see udders flying along with the poo.
Sounds like John will have some competition with the going on in the the village.

cheers, parsnip and thehamish

Derek Faulkner said...

Such fun, the cows on the nature reserve here never do anything exciting and funny as that.

Rachel said...

There was never anything remotely exciting or funny about such an event Derek.

Joanne Noragon said...

A blood pumping start.

Heather said...

That must have ruined a quiet and peaceful breakfast - great excitement indeed. Glad they were all safely returned to the right field. I remember when 6 heifers came trundling through the front garden at our previous house. I was most upset until I went outside to inspect the damage and found there was none! I was then even more upset to think that 6 young cows could trample all over my front garden and leave hardly a sign of having been there. Did it always look as if cows trampled all over it?

Derek Faulkner said...

Guess you're right Rachel, guess I was being a bit too light-hearted. I was herding 50 odd cows and a bull yesterday on the reserve, from one field to another and they all went along as docile as anything.

Penny said...

I have just been told part of our herd of miles has got into the back garden, luckily at this time of the year they seem to have only eaten long grass that due to the very wet weather hasn't been mown. I have no doubt hoof prints and poo will be there too.

Cro Magnon said...

A few days ago I came across about twenty Guinea Fowl in the middle of the road. I imagine they'd done much the same, and had decided on 'adventure'.

Librarian said...

Oh my! Good job you were both there and acted quickly, and what a relief that no cow was harmed during their adventure.

Derek Faulkner said...

I was more amazed that people still eat Weetabix, don't think I've ate that since I was a child.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

BUTTERCUP We live like slaves girls! Slaves I tell you! Let us cast off the yoke of servitude and grasp our freedom.
DAISY We'll follow the lane and go to the seaside.
CLOVER I have always dreamt of this day. Finally we will be free!
BUTTERCUP The cows united will never be defeated!
DAISY Good God Almighty. Free At Last!
(They gallop down the lane towards Bellerby and beyond)

Linda Metcalf said...

The "ONE"....a universal story. But what excitement from the odd ones! :)

The Weaver of Grass said...

YP - a likely story!
Derek - Weetabix, Shredded Wheat and Puffed wheat in rotation in the summer, porridge in the winter - regular as clockwork (in all senses of the word, if you will forgive the mention of such things!)

George said...

No one could ever argue successfully that the farming life is boring. I'm in the middle of caring for larger animals myself at this time; my wife, the equestrian, is out of town and I'm responsible for taking care of her horses.

Terry and Linda said...

I love your excitement...the other terrible kind like the one in France is horrendous. I also enjoyed your write up. Made me feel I was right there watching the cows.